My partner and I have been trying to conceive for the last year. In that time, I’ve had 3 miscarriages. All of my tests so far have come back ok, although I am still very much aware that the issue could lie with me as there can be so many possible causes.
My partner has now had 2 sperm analysis a few months apart. The first one was after my 2nd miscarriage and the most recent analysis was after my 3rd miscarriage. Both results have come back with low morphology (< 1%) and the count/motility aren’t great either.
He’s always liked a drink and regularly has beers or wine on week nights and weekend. I asked him to cut down before we started trying as we are late thirties and I was aware that alcohol can affect fertility. He never did.
After my second miscarriage and his sperm analysis, I gently broached the subject again and asked if he would be willing to cut out alcohol completely and I would do the same (even though I hardly drink). He agreed but it lasted less than a week.
After my 3rd miscarriage and his second SA, I said we really need to try cutting out alcohol. I’ve always been careful never to blame him as we don’t know that his sperm is causing the miscarriages, but as we know sperm regenerates over 3 months, surely it has to be worth a try. Again, he said he would.
We’ve just had a huge argument because he’s still drinking most nights and asked me if he could have some wine tonight. I told him he knows my thoughts but he’s an adult so he needs to make that decision and he’s gone off at me saying that I’m not a dr and that I’m blaming him ‘fine, it’s all my fault etc’.
I don’t know what to do next, am I being unreasonable? I feel like if he cared about having a child as much as he makes out, then it wouldn’t be that hard to cut out alcohol just for a few months, especially after how traumatic the last miscarriage was.