Sister being a bitch because I have the flu

[RedPineapplePanda]

I normally pick my nephews up from school a couple of times a week. Until recently I had a car and would get them then take them back home (too far for me to walk and crossing a busy duel carriageway)

Had to scrap my car and have occasionally walked to the school to get them - it's about a two mile round trip.

I came down the the flu (actual flu, not a cold - popped on a flu/Covid test) on Sat and have been feeling absolutely awful since. I've barely been out of bed!

She's was awful to me yesterday because I couldn't get them and has been nasty today too. Basically she thinks I'm putting on being ill or being soft/dramatic because she's had a cold and has still been going to work. I also have a chronic illness that makes me feel unwell so the flu on top has just made everything ten times worse.

Our mom is giving me a lift to the school tonight but aibu to tell sister to pack the attitude in?

Tell her to pack it all in, and look after her own children in future. She's so entitled she's tricked you (and probably your mum) into thinking this is normal. It isn't.

Tell her that she needs to find alternative arrangements from next week. She doesn't appreciate the favour that you are doing for her.
Get well soon.

What pp say. Tell her to sort it all out from now on.

well your sister is bang out of order to expecting you to collect kids when you are so ill.

(but 1 mile each way is a tiny walk.
you are supposed to aim for 10000 steps a day and 2 miles is about 4000. Less than half of a basic amount for health. )

Yeah that attitude would mean the end of favours for her.

The thing with being kind and going out of your way to do favours for selfish people is that they quickly lose their appreciation and start having unreasonable expectations.

Tell her that on reflection you can no longer pick up nephews as it just isn5 working for you…then leave her to it.

Way to miss the point 😂

She's clearly never had flu!

What does she think she's going to achieve by being nasty to you, when you are doing her such a huge favour picking up the kids? Shame she couldn't have asked you how you are & sent you some goodies to feel better. I'd tell her straight when you're feeling up to it (although she sounds like she has thick skin so I would doubt your message would land!) Get well soon OP

you're doing her a favour and she needs to remember that. If my sister had this attitude with me, let alone when I had the flu I wouldn't be doing any more pick ups that's for sure.

Why on earth are you going tonight? What kind of hold does she have over you you think her behaviour is ok?

Did I read that with the flu you are still going to look after the dc … your DM is going to drive you to get them??

If so, that is SO unreasonable of your DSis (and your DM).

You should call them both and say you are staying in bed, and cant look after the dc for the rest of the week and will be seriously reconsidering looking after them going forward as she has been so unreasonable and uncaring towards you.

Does your DSis pay you something for looking after her dc, and pay for any food/snacks/drinks when they are at your house?

Stop helping her out. She’s clearly come to expect it and doesn’t appreciate you.

You are ill - don’t make yourself worse or spread it around. Tell her you’re unable to collect this week due to illness and can’t commit to a regular time in the future. Then just collect them when you want to see them.

@RedPineapplePanda might have missed it but is there any valid reason why she cannot pick up her own children from school??? and if your mum is giving you a lift to school, why cant she just collect all the kids and drop yours off at your house????

Unfortunately short of leaving them at school until sis finishes at 6pm I don't have a choice because Mom has a hospital appointment at 4:30, sister can't leave work early, and their dad has absolutely refused to help.

You are being unreasonable for allowing her to treat you like crap. Getting your mum to drive you to collect them is just plain stupid. Lots of kids stay at school until late, that's why they have wrap around care, or your sister needs to find a viable sustainable alternative - pay for childcare, change of job or hours. What happens the next time you are sick or unable to help. You're being a mug.

She doesn't finish work until 6pm and has been told she can't take any more time off because she's missed a lot due to various things (kids being sick, her being sick, our dad being in hospital)

She's still on probation so can't risk losing the job .

She needs to pay for childcare! What do you think everyone else in the world does? After school clubs, childminders.. have you been brainwashed in to thinking this is your duty or something?

Of course your sister leaves work early…she doesn’t have a choice.

You absolutely do have a choice. They are not your responsibility. Your sis needs to sort out childcare. Don't be bullied into anything OP.

You do have a choice - you can tell her to look after her own kids. Her problems with work, kids dad, your mum etc - none of that shit is your problem. Why are you her slave?

I'd be telling her that she can forget you ever doing the pick ups again. Regards to today, could your mom not pick them up and bring them to you before she goes to hospital. You really shouldn't be going out when you're so ill

I agree with this post.

OP, you're not responsible for your sister's child care arrangements whether you have flu or not.

You're sister isn't being a bitch because you have the flu.

She's being a bitch because she is one, it's just that while you're running around after her and her life is tickety boo you don't notice it, when you're not available and she has to think for herself she shows who she really is.

did you read the bit about her being really ill?

Rest as much as you need to and tell her to look after her own children. Especially while you're I'll.

I bet she'l blame you if they get ill too.

Oh for God sake but you do have a choice.

Just say no, if my sister spoke to me like that it would be the absolute end. In fact, I would have told her I can’t when I stopped driving.

She’s treating you like a mug because you’re letting her.