To want to go back to the room early?

[holdingspacedefyinggravity]

I’m going to London with two friends mid-December, they have booked a late afternoon boozy brunch and then Winter Wonderland. Then they want to continue drinking after this and have mentioned clubbing.

I absolutely do not want to do this. I want to go to WW, have a drink afterwards maybe but I don’t want to go clubbing and I just want to go back to the hotel. We’re sharing a room so there’s not much pint going back to sleep, I just don’t want to look like a misery.

Nothing wrong with that suggestion at all, I would just set their expectations beforehand by saying something along the lines that after the boozy brunch and WW, you will have reached your limit so when you all come back to the hotel to change for the night, you will be curling up for a film and leaving them two to the clubbing.

Then once you have said it, you don't take your clubbing outfit and you can settle in for the night.

I did this exact thing on a Christmas weekend away, three of us sharing, had a fab time but it was a very long day and after the Christmas party we were there to attend, they always planned to go out clubbing and I just said I would be retiring after the dinner and they were fine and I did sleep until they came back in the wee hours and I let them in, had a good chat and then went straight to sleep again. Nothing wrong with that, if you set your stall out beforehand.

where do you live? There has been one in most cities and even big towns for at least the last decade in the UK...

Not in a city, and in the North

This thread has turned weird. So many people asking what’s the point. So how is this thread still going when I’ve not commented on it.

And I don’t care who you could and couldn’t share a room with for anyone that’s posted this. Why? Because absolutely no one is asking you to do this.

For one night I don’t give a shit. It reminds me of how much fun I had at sleepovers, late night chats, snacks and laughs.

Huh?

Firstly a weekend in London is absolutely not a holiday. Secondly because I only want to do 2 out of the 3 planned things then I should dropped them and find new friends? Ok ..

You just sound snobby now.

Well it's a short break which is a kind of holiday...

So your issue/dilemma is that you don’t want your friends to see you as a ‘misery’, is that it?

Because, if they were good friends they wouldn’t mind at all if you headed back to the hotel early and didn’t join them for clubbing.

God, if it was me and my friends and one of them wanted to go back early I’d say “Just text us when you get back safe and hopefully we’re not too loud when we come back”.

Why is this even an issue? It seems like you’re expecting drama? Are your friends normally judgemental of others?

In which case, I can’t see what the problem was. You do what you want, they do what they want.

Snobby? Because one night in a city that’s an hour away and I regularly work in I don’t see as a holiday and just see as a day out… ok then

I honestly don't see what the big deal is.

Either, book another room so you are not disturbed when they come in drunk or wish them well after WW and go back to the room and do your own thing.

Why would you care if they thought you are a " misery " you are an adult not a 12 year old.

Or maybe don't go after all.

It seems perfectly normal to me. I go away with friends a lot. We all pick and choose the activities that suit us.

There is no way on earth you would get me to go to a night club. Even when mates were guests at my holiday home they headed off clubbing after dinner whilst I went back to the flat with a glass of wine and my book and everyone was happy. They woke me briefly when they got back but it wasn't a big deal.

Similarly if I want to spend a morning at a cookery demo or yoga class I'm not offended if other people would rather stay in bed or go shopping. We all do what suits us and enjoy any communal activities all the more for time apart.

Which club?

Clubbing in London is expensive and you need a definite plan of where you're going because you wont stumble upon one near Hyde Park

How about researching some late night bars as a compromise?

I’m with you OP. I’m not a fan of clubbing really however I’d play it by ear myself - some of my best nights out have been the ones I didn’t want to go on. If you’re in the mood to stay out after WW then stay out, if you’re not then go back to the hotel.

As others have said you can’t expect them to go back with you if they don’t want to at the time, but equally they shouldn’t expect you to stay out if you don’t want to either. Maybe talk about it before you start drinking so you are all aware of the plan - and have enough hotel room keys if you are sharing!

Also be aware that if you go back to the hotel without them you will probably end up wondering what they are up to more than they are thinking about you!!

I never got that feeling from the op, which bit makes you think that?

Clubbing isn't for me either, I would just say after WW that you're going to head back. If they're good friends they'll understand.

What's the issue?
They go clubbing. You go back to the room.

I can't see the problem; you haven't said anywhere that they are not happy about you wanting to opt out of the clubbing, so why are you worrying about it?

i be staying with you op clubbing in london? are your friens rich will ost them about 20 quid drink

Take a good book, and eye mask and some earplugs, sounds fab to have some time to yourself, they can go clubbing you can snuggle up with a book, nothing wrong with either. Enjoy!

These sort of plans you just have to see how you feel at the time. You could tell them beforehand you don't fancy the clubbing part or just say on the night you've had enough and want to go back. Everyone's different and they may not even want to and you do. I find these situations can be unpredictable, you may get the desire to stay out, they may want to go back etc. X

Just tell your friends now what you've said here. Then if they think you're a misery they'll at least have time to get used to the idea rather than being surprised on the day. Also if you say on the day they'll try to persuade you, or one might say they'll come back with you, and it gets messy. If everyone is clear in advance it's much easier. You can always change your mind. Just make sure to wear a 'nice top' under your jumper just in case!

I don't quite understand what you are asking. Have you told your friends and they objected? Or have you not told them at all and worry about breaking some rule? Do whatever you want. I am sure nobody minds.

Did you know it going to be a weekend of clubbing?

This sounds like my idea of hell too so I don't blame you but not sure why you didn't just say no instead of resigning yourself to a sleepless night waiting up for them in a hotel.

I think you should go to sleep and with any luck they'll come back at 6am, allowing you a few hours of quiet sleep.

People are being absolutely mental. OP has expressed mild concern that her friends might think she’s a killjoy and / or try and persuade her to stay out if she heads back to the hotel for an early night. People are extrapolating from this that they’re not good friends or that OP is a controlling weirdo or any number of crazy assumptions.