To want to go back to the room early?

[holdingspacedefyinggravity]

I’m going to London with two friends mid-December, they have booked a late afternoon boozy brunch and then Winter Wonderland. Then they want to continue drinking after this and have mentioned clubbing.

I absolutely do not want to do this. I want to go to WW, have a drink afterwards maybe but I don’t want to go clubbing and I just want to go back to the hotel. We’re sharing a room so there’s not much pint going back to sleep, I just don’t want to look like a misery.

I'm wondering what you'll be wearing if you're heading to WW, prob not the sort of clothes you'd go clubbing in? So does that mean they'd go back to the hotel to change? You could just say you're tired and stay there whilst they head back out.

I have no idea why this is even an issue?

They go clubbing, you go back to the hotel.

No big deal.

Absolutely not an issue and I’d do the same. I’d probably say now casually that the clubbing bit won’t be for me, but looking forward to the other bits with them.

Your friends surely won't mind so long as you warn them that you may need an early night after the journey and being out all day, but you don't mind at all what time they come in. Hopefully you'll only wake up briefly when they do.

Sharing a room as a group of adults would have put me off in the first place. I need control over my own space!

They won’t be able to afford to go clubbing after WW so problem solved 😂

I know it’s London and may not be doable with the prices, but I’d look at booking a separate room. Pissed people can be very annoying and I’d not really want rely on just ear plugs and an eye mask to stop them disturbing me if another room was an option 🤣

The others might decide they don’t want to go clubbing in the end anyway. I’d just tell them you don’t fancy going clubbing, are they still going, because if so you want to make arrangements for you, whether that be a seperate room or ear plugs? See what they say, but as pp have said, you can’t try and control it.

I'd rather have my nipples removed with a blunt spoon than go clubbing. I would just say "clubbing isn't my thing, but you two go and have a blast, I'll see you when you get back."

Then curl up with a book/Netflix and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Gosh you do seem a bit worked up about this OP.

I've been in this situation a few times, zero desire to go to the pub or go out further once I have had my dinner. Just be very straightforward and keep repeating yourself, they'll get the message eventually. Do keep stating you don't want to stop them going out and you're happy to make your own way back.

Of course YANBU to want to go back rather than clubbing - what is the issue? Are you worried they'll pressurise you?

I would just take earplugs and an eye mask and let them know in advance that you probably won't be going clubbing. Leave a low lamp on for when they return so they don't come crashing about in the dark, and have a great time (I wouldn't want to go clubbing either!)

So what's the problem to solve here then? You are happy for them to do their thing. And they will. So what is the point of the post?

I agree with everyone else. This is not an issue atall and if your friends make it an issue then are they really your friends?

Three adults sharing one room?

You don't even need to say much. If you go late afternoon boozy brunch Winter Wonderland for, what, 6pm, then a drink after? It'll be about 10pm by then, perfectly respectable time to either go on somewhere or head back. You can just say "ah you two have fun, I'm done for the night but see you back at the room!"

They might intend to go clubbing right now but in reality will probably be absolutely trolleyed themselves by this point.

So what advice or opinion do you actually expect people to give?

It's not like there are many options. Either go out with them despite not wanting to, or go back but accept they might think you are miserable (nobody on MN will be able to tell you if they will think this or not, they're your friends, we've never met them!).

They probably will just accept, as you do, that people are different and like different things. If you aren't judging them for wanting to go out, why do you assume they will judge you for not wanting to? Worst comes to the worst and they fall out with you over it then you know they aren't great friends!

What's wrong with that?

It's the baby seals I feel sorry for...

I think the reason people are assuming you don't want them to go clubbing is because there's no real dilemma otherwise. If they want to go clubbing, they can go clubbing and you can chill in the room, so I don't really understand what you think might be unreasonable about not going with them.

Yeah this. ^ I could NEVER share with any adult I am not related to

@holdingspacedefyinggravity Clearly you have different wants and needs to your friends. Sod paying twice, I would get my own room. They will 100% wake you up when they come in at 1-2am. If you don't want to book your own room, then you will have to take the broken sleep and put up with the drunken and loud post nightclub noise for an hour or two when they come in.

.

I think people are assuming you don't want your friends to go clubbing, because otherwise it is hard to see the point in this post. You and your friends want different things... and you are all okay with that. Where's the dilemma or problem you want posters to comment on?

Do you friends know that you don't want to go clubbing? Have they complained about it? Surely you just set the expectation beforehand, all agree that you each do what suits you and there'll be no offence taken. Have a great time over brunch and then the Winter Wonderland thing and then head off back to your hotel. Maybe agree to let them know you've arrived there safely. Wear earplugs/eye mask if necessary. No drama. How old are you all?

I don’t understand the problem. Have they said they don’t want you to go back earlier???

If, just tell them not to be daft and do what you want, and they’ll do what they want. Honestly can’t see the issue!

Yes, exactly.

You stay back at the hotel, they go out - what is there to discuss?

YANBU but I would want my own room.

What's wrong with that?!