To ask if people today don’t agree with ivf?!

[Yaerry]

or am I just naive? Watched the new documentary about Jean Purdy and I’m surprised there was so much push back at the time. It’s made me wonder if one day surrogacy will be more accepted? I thought ivf was just a standard thing now that wasn’t controversial.

... I genuinely don't understand the point you are making here. Are you saying it's okay to take a baby away from its mother as long as they have a quick cuddle first?

Be even more stretched dealing with mental illness if you stop IVF being offered though. Many feel suicidal due to infertility.

@BodyKeepingScore I’m not trying to argue anything really as I don’t know much at all about it! I was just interested in this sort of stuff after watching the documentary about ivf

Cross post!

I have issues with women being coerced/persuaded into donating their eggs so they can have lower cost treatment. I'm also not sure about sperm and egg donation because I think how a child is conceived and comes into the world affects a child, more than most people realise.
At the very least they should know exactly who the donor is and have the option of being in contact with them if they wish.

I looked into adoption on the early 1990’s whilst suffering infertility and was shocked. Just thing about it, if your 14 year old daughter got pregnant and wanted to keep the baby you would sigh and make the most of it, rather than force her to give up her child like 80 years ago.
This means generally the children up for adoption have very serious needs. They have often been physically or sexually abused or have severe special needs. It would take extraordinary parents to overcome what they have been through.
I thought I would only be able to be an average parent so went through IVF instead.

@IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that!

I think we have to look at this slightly as back then rather than now views. I personally have no issue with IVF but I had a conversation with my grandmother about it once ( now in her 90's) and she was very against it. She felt it was unnatural and of people couldn't have children naturally then it wasn't meant to be. I can distinctly hear her telling me nature shouldn't be messed with. This is a similar view to those that are against surrogates have. I have mixed views on surrogacy so this isn't me in favour or against it more of an explanation of the older generations view.

I know that infertility is a terrible thing for many people, but it is hard to accept that someone would be suicidal even though they were in deep grief about loss of hopes of being a parent. It is about expectations being dashed, and not everyone can have children. As someone childless myself, it is something I had to come to terms with. It takes time but all there is is acceptance.

No problem with IVF at all

I think people considering ivf with a donor element need to consider how that child will feel when they find out. And have a plan to let them know so they don't find out in a biology class at school at 14/15 and their whole world is turned upside down when they find out. Seen it happen and its heartbreaking for the kids who find out that way.

It's very much an each to their own topic much like abortion imo. Nobody should be forcing their views about these things on anyone else.

Why would it make you anxious, and anxious about what? Whether it’s actually baby and that there wasn’t an embryo mix up? Order a DNA test.

You’re right that it’s easy for you to say that you wouldn’t use IVF because you have your own biological children. IVF is the only way I could have my child. It was IVF or never have a child. Never having a child was unfathomable for me. My mental health wouldn’t have survived without at least trying IVF.

Be even more stretched dealing with mental illness if you stop IVF being offered though. Many feel suicidal due to infertility.

I actually don't have any issue with IVF being available on the NHS, but is this really the case (that it would cost more I mean)?

Plenty of people don't qualify for IVF for various reasons, so you'd have any mental health costs for them anyway. And then many others aren't successful with it, so for those people you have the IVF costs, plus any mental health costs. And for people where it is successful, you have the IVF cost, plus the pregnancy and birth, and an extra person for the NHS to provide care for for their whole life.

As I said, I'm not against it. I'm just not sure that the argument that it prevents there being an even bigger burden on the NHS really stacks up. I don't think that actually matters though, because I don't think that's how NHS funding should be decided (I mean, loads of things would be cheaper to simply not bother treating).

Surrogacy has issues with using women's body's and attachment issues for the baby.

IVF using the couples sperm and eggs I have zero issue with. 100% solving a medial issue.

IVF using other people's eggs or sperm doesn't sit comfortably with me.

Of course there is controversy still around the destruction of embryos. That was the very reason we did not have it. In the same way as I wouldn't have an abortion, I wouldn't have IVF. I personally am happy for others to have it and for others to make those decisions for themselves.

I had just been referred to the fertility clinic and would probably have needed ivf if I hadn't fallen pregnant suddenly (unexplained infertility for 10 years and I am 32 years old)..

It is my only significant medical issue to date (and we pay a lot of tax) and a growing number of people are suffering from infertility. Even so many people aren't able to use ivf on the nhs due to the long waiting times (2 years), high bmi. I was relatively young and my ccg offered 3 cycles so I chose to wait on the nhs though I did fall pregnant naturally while waiting.

The determination to conflate the two is an attempt to decontaminate the optics of buying and selling babies. But let's face it, it's not much of a fig leaf.

Don’t agree with it?

I'm against IVF in principle because I think infertility is nature's way of controlling population increase and shouldn't be messed with just because we can and global population increase is out of control however the problem with that is where do you stop - I've had my one child, happily welcome medical intervention when I or a loved one needs it, take antibiotics and vaccinations when required which also disturbs natural highs and lows of population fluctuation so entirely hypocritical in my thoughts process.

Surrogacy is wrong buying and selling of humans is not ok, the only time I think it is ever really slightly acceptable is 'in family surrogates, like a mother or sister carrying for another female family member however even then the room for issues if something goes wrong, for guilt and for familial bonds to be broken are high.

Why are so many here claiming that embryos are destroyed during IVF? Based on what? How many embryos per woman? How many healthy, correctly fertilised embryos are destroyed?

The only embryos of mine that were destroyed were the ones that fertilised incorrectly, eg two sperm instead of one, or that stopped dividing/growing. These would have never implanted or would have been miscarriages if they had implanted. They were never going to survive anyway. I had only two healthy embryos. Both were used. One resulted in my child. None were left over.

Over three quarters of embryos are destroyed I believe.

People who think adoption or having your own biological child can even be compared are incredibly naive in my opinion, completely different experience. People who adopt and love and look after someone else's biological child with all the very sad problems they may bring are heroes.

I also know a lady who wanted to be a surrogate as she loved being pregnant and the idea of helping others, and another case of a friend donating her eggs to her sister who couldn't conceive naturally. Like with everything there are shades of grey, nothing is always entirely bad.

You can if it's only the husband who's in his 60s. (I made enquiries about private IVF one time. To my surprise, there was no limit on the age of the husband.)

Shades of grey here. IVF for medical reasons (genetic screening for example) and/or where it is using the couples' own egg and sperm is not an issue for most people. Using donated eggs however is an issue as it has health implications for the donor due to the drugs required to hyper stimulate the ovaries to collect, unless truly altruistic I have issues, money changing hands could encourage women to donate without realising negative effects (I was offered $25k 20 years ago by a couple I vaguely knew, didn't because I looked at the potential issues.)

A number are destroyed during the process. We also had 11 leftover which we donated to research so they will have been destroyed in that process I'm sure.