Family is against me for not feeding baby meat

[Foxtails]

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but could do with some advice please.

8 month old baby, stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. So far I have not fed anything with meat in it and do not plan to. I am vegetarian and have been for 8 years. DH is not veggie but does eat veggie meals in the house with me (his choice). For now, while my son has no way to make his own decisions, I won’t be feeding him meat. Once he is old enough to decide for himself, he can choose. We will always have vegetarian meals in the house but if he wants to eat it outside of the house that’s up to him and there will be no judgement from me.

It seems like absolutely none of my family members can accept this. My mum, dad, grandparents and also DHs parents have expressed to me how they think this is wrong. I have told them that as long as he is fed and is healthy then there really is no problem, and it’s up to me how I do this. It’s got to the point where it’s being brought up almost every time I see anyone because they are so so against it. I feel attacked. They are telling me not to force my views upon my child, but isn’t that what all parents do?! People parent their children how they think is best and in line with what they agree with. Everyone does this.

I am feeling upset and overwhelmed and feeling like i can’t go and see anyone without them starting this argument with me and I worry that they will feed him meat behind my back. Please could I have some advice on what to do and how to handle this? Has anyone been in this position?

My children at school encountered a number of children who were convinced that you would die if you didn't eat meat and said so to mine. They were surprised and confused to see mine running around perfectly healthy. I always wondered what the conversations at home were like after that.

Sausage*

And my MIL was veggie from birth, including no egg, until her late eighties. She never saw a doctor even once!!

But anyway even a processed one now and again ain't gonna do any harm.

What about a British family including other meats from other cultures? Goat? Dog? Pigeon? Surely we should be introducing children to them.

@Foxtails I don’t think you need to limit contact but be clear and repetitive “Ben is vegetarian while he is so little. James and I have decided together.” Be like a broken record. We had this in my family, SIL is a child development psychologist (not her official job title) and she was firm on no screens under 2. I respected this but the number of family members who were urging her to “aww let little DN watch Peppa Pig on my phone” while DN was happily sitting in a high chair was ridiculous. SIL didn’t get angry or upset, just repeated her choice and family were on board. She didn’t waver.

I’m a doctor aswell.
Does your hospital have any parenteral nutrition feed that is vegan? Last I discussed with our dieticians, it can’t be done.

You could have read OP’s responses on this thread and actually responded to those instead of inventing an imaginary position in your head and having an argument with someone who doesn’t exist.

As someone who has struggled with iron levels all my life, especially the years I was fully vegetarian, I think yabu. Bear in mind I grew up in q country where regular vegetarian meals are mainstream.

Calcium and dairy interfere with iron absorption as do tea, coffee and many vegetables. Your iron-enriched cereal? You won't absorb it if you have it with milk.

Iron deficiency is by far the most common nutrient deficiency in the world - a third of women who menstruate are affected, and in countries with a vegetarian culture it's about half. Hundreds of millions of people in the world. Anemia is no joke. The effects on your cognitive, mental and physical health and your quality of life can be huge.

Many doctors are in denial about the fact that red meat is by far the best source of iron for humans. The current fashion is to favour vegan options no matter how processed.

You can raise your child as you want but please inform yourself. Iron content on a nutritional label does not equal iron absorbed. And that's just one nutrient.

James needs to also say why he agrees with it and means it. James' mum will know if her little darling is telling porkies.

I am glad I've never been fed meat. So yes, you can be glad you've never done something even if it is 'normal and legal'.

hundreds of millions of people don't not because of it is their choice but affordability too . 😞

That's parenting, isn't it? All our parenting is projecting our beliefs. If your child is raised in a religion. What your child eats. How your child is educated. Even the toys and books we buy. As long as both parents are on board and adequate research has been done they need to back the fuck up.

My lot thought I was ridiculous because I asked that no one kissed the baby. As toddlers, I insisted that they got consent, from the children, to hug or kiss the them and when we say goodbye I ask the kids if they would like to give nanny a hug kiss or high five goodbye. They still think it's ridiculous but I want my girls to decide and to be able to say no.

Well OP’s mum knows her daughter is vegetarian and she’s still pushing for the baby to eat meat!

Sure, the WHO says a vegetarian diet can be healthy and adequate for a child. But would I do it, no.

Nope. It can't be.

Like the majority of people on this thread, they're either uninformed or insecure about their own choices, which is why they're making such a big about it. I wouldn't get drawn into a debate about it - you're the parent and it's your decision, end of. No need for any discussion.

I was raised eating meat and when I got older I did feel as though a choice had been taken away from me and I was quite upset with my parents. As I got older, I realised this was unfair - they were making what they thought were the best choices for their children. I've been vegan for over 15 years and my children will be raised vegetarian/vegan - I won't have meat in the house. If my kids want to eat meat one day, they can do it when they're out of the house and when they can pay for it themselves. Anyone who doesn't like it is going to have to lump it. 🤷😘

So what about all Hindu/Sikh families? Do they have to feed their babies meat also?

I have never explored vegan food so cant comment on that at all. Always had lots of milk, yoghurt and eggs.

She's not forcing her baby to do anything!

like every other parent she's just feeding him, but not meat.

As you say a vegetarian diet isn't weird.

How can you say she's forcing her baby to do something??

this wouldn't even be a conversation if is was based on religion.

I am saying this because i feel like if "James" felt as strongly as the OP, then his family particularly would not be as insistent. I think any protests of agreement he does make are seen through by his parents and siblings who know him very well.

Thank you for these links. I have already seen the films but not read the book so will check it out ☺️

Most Hindus eat some meat. Only beef is totally forbidden.

And most Sikhs don't. Have you not heard of the meat free zone around the Golden Temple in Amritsar. No meat allowed to be even sold in a certain radius

The only downside is I'd feel like a bit of a pain in the arse when they they are primary school age and went for tea at a friend's house.

I wouldn't find it a problem personally but I know some parents would.

DD1 is veggie but she decided herself at 16/17.

It's the same for Sikhs actually.. most eat meat just not beef. Not sure where you're getting this info from but it's wrong. There are holidays where they don't eat meat but it isn't an every day thing at all. Maybe fact check before posting.