To find this so cringeworthy?

[Bpuss]

(I realise using the word cringeworthy is a bit cringeworthy in itself, but here we are...)

Literally posting this so I don't end up telling him what I'm thinking!

I've been seeing a guy off and on for a year and he's a lovely person, but keeps coming out with things that just make me die a little inside.

The latest one is he went to the cinema with his friends last night to see Wicked.
He has this habit of messaging me after he's seen a film to let me know how he found it and the message last night read "It had greatest showman vibes, and the hallmarks of a classic". I almost, almost... replied with a bunch of laughy faces and told him to stop talking like a dick but I thought I should try and be kind so I just said something about being glad he likes it.

But I've never heard anyone in real life use the phrase "hallmarks of a classic" to describe a film, let alone something like Wicked?!

He also uses the word belly for his stomach...

I like him, but omg I cringe so hard sometimes at his choice of words!

He does it a lot; the other day we got talking online about how it feels for men and women to be turned on and he said " I'd have to get turned on to describe it properly, but it's kinda like all energy and feelings get focused between my legs and up my penis, then you think of all the sexy things you wanna do"

Howling at this. This is far worse than ‘hallmarks of a classic’

I think generally if a man gives you the ick, no matter why, then it's probably doomed. It suggests to me a lack of respect, which is killer for a relationship.

I'm all for over-looking people's flaws, but my feeling is if you are attracted to someone, their flaws (particularly at the beginning) are endearing rather than cringy.

So two people could do the exact same thing but in one person you wouldn't mind, in the other it would give you the ick. Stick with the first, bin the second!

I don't see the issue, but if you're at the stage where things like this are grating on you, there's not much point carrying on.

@EvilsElsasPetSnowman

What is your issue with me?

They weren't alone I was there.

If they are that desperate to see movies we don't want to see they go with their friends

Not sure what this means - not up for that then what exactly are you for when it comes to parenting?

@CorbyTrouserPress
Oh give over it's a movie!!

You've certainly swallowed all the hype! I mentioned Portrait of a Lady on Fire in a previous post because I understand that Wicked touches on (tired, cliched) aspects of female friendship and POALOF is also about relationships between women — far more grown-up and nuanced, though.

Wicked is remains a populist mass-market feel-good Disney-esque take on contemporary tropes of female empowerment. Be Kind feminism lite.

I'm still laughing at Nigella Lawson saying that treacle had a ... 'sombre majesty '

@cardibach I was being led by the fact OP found it cringe worthy. And made a somewhat tongue in cheek response.
Would she have found it cringe if her partner was female? Who knows. I honestly took this thread to be quite light-hearted rather than serious.

I think it started out fairly light hearted, @BobbyBiscuits, but I think several of us have found the entrenched attitudes of many posters with regard to sex stereotypes rather serious and concerning. To be clear, I don’t think you have shown those views as strongly as many.

Now THIS would give me the ick. I’d be thinking the lady doth protest too much

A man in the marines so presumably doesn’t see his kids an awful lot and wouldn’t go to the cinema when he’s home with his kids because he’s too “Alpha”. It’s just shitty selfish parenting really isn’t. Heaven forbid a perfectly normal activity with his children comes between him and his penis

So you still don’t know what it’s about.

Honestly having a “Alpha” husband like yours isn’t the flex you think it is. IME these Manly Marine types are so very toxic manly they’re probably TOO manly for the likes of respect and fidelity towards women and their families

@cardibach yeah, it seems to have got a bit serious. My dislike of musical theatre and gentle mocking of blokes who like slightly more traditionally female interests was not meant in a horrible way. Of course everyone should like whatever they want.

You haven’t read or seen it though, have you?
So how do you know?
Are you one of those people who assume that if something is popular it’s necessarily crap and gets their kicks from liking stuff because others haven’t heard of it/haven’t experienced it?

Edit: ‘swallowed all the hype’? How condescending. People who aren’t you are able to make their own assessments too, you know.

I think you're the one bringing all the odd to this relationship tbh.

This. Really ridiculous- would you say a woman can only watch certain films if she's lesbian? If not, why is it OK the other way round?
I don't see what's wrong w him enjoying a traditionally female thing. Clearly it's not Op's thing, & tbf it wasn't mine either. He does seem v enthused by it- maybe if it's that annoying you're not compatible? I'd wait and see, though, if he's nice & there are no other issues. Every good man will have something annoying.

Once the ick is there, it will never leave OP

I have a sneaking suspicion you’re dating my ex 👀😅

My son and daughter both play football and have played in mixed teams, more than once I’ve heard a dad from the sidelines tell his son off for being tackled by a girl

I think that that's it in a nutshell!

Yes, the alpha dad!

'tummy' would be even more cringe surely, coming from a bloke?

wicked is a bit like Barbie, visual fun for older kids and adults! I’m taking my DD11 but not my DS7 as so much content would fly over his head and it only ends up with him constantly asking me what’s happening

Good vocabulary? You mean "hallmarks"? Or "vibes"? Or, um, "classic"? Not exactly sesquipedalian.

I just find it sad that you’re so proud to be married to be a selfish sexist. It’s such a damaging trope

Id die of embarrassment and shame if my DH walked out the cinema during a family film leaving me there. He doesn’t sound manly he sounds like a big baby - was a film about Willy Wonka making his penis fall off or something? This is seriously odd behaviour, and your poor girls having to watch their dad leave family time. Let’s hope they find better men than you have.

I meant that if you’re not up for occasionally doing things you don’t want to do, for the sake of spending time with your kids, what is even the point of being a parent?

I dated a guy who was lovely but constantly made me cringe with expressions like "pop" for "popular" (appropriate for Wicked, I guess).

But the worst was the chap who told me he had "made a Proust joke" and everyone laughed. Pompous twat.