To find this so cringeworthy?

[Bpuss]

(I realise using the word cringeworthy is a bit cringeworthy in itself, but here we are...)

Literally posting this so I don't end up telling him what I'm thinking!

I've been seeing a guy off and on for a year and he's a lovely person, but keeps coming out with things that just make me die a little inside.

The latest one is he went to the cinema with his friends last night to see Wicked.
He has this habit of messaging me after he's seen a film to let me know how he found it and the message last night read "It had greatest showman vibes, and the hallmarks of a classic". I almost, almost... replied with a bunch of laughy faces and told him to stop talking like a dick but I thought I should try and be kind so I just said something about being glad he likes it.

But I've never heard anyone in real life use the phrase "hallmarks of a classic" to describe a film, let alone something like Wicked?!

He also uses the word belly for his stomach...

I like him, but omg I cringe so hard sometimes at his choice of words!

My DH would sit through any musical if it made his DD happy. Thats because he’s a loving father, which is a lot more ‘manly’ than your daughter’s sorry excuse for a father.

@Bpuss
I'm not sure what your issue is but I realise the cinema thing was just one example.

I'm wondering if it's that he's like one of those people who buys a bottle of wine from the supermarket and then starts waffling on about detecting raspberries with a hint of juniper. Just prats on in slightly high brow fashion about something quite normal

Um.... I really don't think you have read the book or seen the show. Or googled the plot. Which tbh I would have done, if I was doubling down on being wrong, as magnificently as you are doing!

One of the most thought-provoking aspects of the show and how it twists the genre of Disneyfied romantic storytelling is that it changes the tropes of the romantic duet and love story to make it about female friendship. The "Love duet" at the end of the show is changed from tradition to take place between the two women leads - musically, with the high and low harmony lines swapping at intentional points to show that traditional conventions of romantic following and leading do not apply and that the characters have been on a journey. Good and wickedness are not simple. Relationships are not simple. Yes, it is conveyed in the genres of the art form but hey, a sonnet or a novel also use their own conventions.

I'm not gonna say what happens to the male romantic lead!!!!! Because it's a massive and hugely clever spoiler. Anyone who knows can have a good laugh at this point, about the layers of meaning about Hollywood and the clever relationship of the musical to the original Oz film, and about romantic storytelling generally, and in particular about the idea that the heroine "wins a man" at the end of this tale.

@TriesNotToBeCynical Wicked isn't a Disney Film.

@CorbyTrouserPress I agree. Nothing sexier than a manly man who fully embraces his soft side with his dc.

It's possibly the sexiest thing ever

Some boorish oaf who is 'too manly' to be able to sit through a musical is pretty much the epitome of cringe

Now I've read you're autistic and he possibly is then it changes everything, different rules 😆
Also I'm glad you have stopped judging adults seeing U films, very small minded.

I am sure you need to be a pretty rigid and loyal group conformist to be a soldier; and we certainly need such people for our safety. But that's not the only possible definition of manliness.

Yes!

You must not know many people.

Sorry OP! I am derailing - your man seems potentially like one of those people who use language in a rather leaden way, not noticing layers of whimsy or how phrases come across. Ain't no saving ick like that.
OR
he is quite clever and sparky and using a clichéd phrase on purpose pending having a longer discussion - I might do that myself and expect someone to know I was enjoying choosing my words.
So either you are a bit pedestrian or he is! Probably him!

This. I hope my sons feel comfortable in using what vocabulary they like and feel comfortable in their choices without feeling laughed at.
You sound awful, sorry. He's better off without you, find someone more on your own wavelength.

Agree

”Hallmark” isn’t even an unusual word, so doesn’t really say anything about his vocabulary. I think it’s more that his phrasing just sounds a bit pretentious.

Belly is also giving me the ick.

OP you’re just not into him. That’s fine but probably time to end it! If he’s super nice maybe you can be friends still.

@KeenCat is it? I don't think I've ever dated anyone into musical theatre, as it's not my cup of tea. I haven't deliberately filtered them out.
Same way I wouldn't date a Tory. Or someone who loves going on holiday to Dubai. Or is into bodybuilding. It just would be unlikely to happen.

He deserves someone who loves how he expresses himself, you seem overly critical and judgemental. Let him find who he was meant to be with, a person who appreciates him, instead of looking down on him.

Ah leave him be.
I don't think you can continue id that gives you the ick
Let him find someone who connects with him

Because they’re emotionally stunted due to toxic masculinity? We need more boys like yours. Toxic masculinity never did men OR women any good.

I mean, it has none of the 'hallmarks of a classic', so there's that 😅

I guess you can’t help icks. And it’s very hard to come back from an ick.

I once met an amazing guy, handsome, tall, kind, successful, generous and sweet…he licked my nose when we were having sex and I just never came back from it.

I wouldn’t date a Tory either - it would mean our basic understanding of how society should work and our general values would differ. That would be tough to accommodate. However someone who enjoyed different films, holiday donations, hobbies…crack on as long as you don’t want me to join in too much (I’d still, for eg, go to a body building competition to support from time to time). I like a bit of individual time.
Dubai as a favourite place could suggest some of the values issues I suppose…

Toxic masculinity has a lot to answer for. A few times i have witnessed an adult telling their little crying son to just „”man up”, and to „”stop crying like a girl”. I’ve heard women saying that as well. It’s so sad, so messed up.

Wicked is absolutely not aimed at little girls. In fact I’d say a little girl might be bored as it’s quite heavy at times. Dont be fooled by the green and pink.

So he can’t say certain words because he’s a man? This mindset really just validates all sexism

Ds1 will message me in a similar way. However he has ASD.

@EvilsElsasPetSnowman which words did I say he couldn't use? It was OP who said using the word 'belly' was cringe. I stated I use it frequently. Maybe I shouldn't say Wicked is aimed at girls/kids. I honestly am no expert. I just know it's not my type of thing whatsoever.

You said it about ‘tummy’ though. 'tummy' would be even more cringe surely, coming from a bloke?
Different likes and dislikes about culture are fine. Assuming they are determined by sex, less so.