To find this so cringeworthy?

[Bpuss]

(I realise using the word cringeworthy is a bit cringeworthy in itself, but here we are...)

Literally posting this so I don't end up telling him what I'm thinking!

I've been seeing a guy off and on for a year and he's a lovely person, but keeps coming out with things that just make me die a little inside.

The latest one is he went to the cinema with his friends last night to see Wicked.
He has this habit of messaging me after he's seen a film to let me know how he found it and the message last night read "It had greatest showman vibes, and the hallmarks of a classic". I almost, almost... replied with a bunch of laughy faces and told him to stop talking like a dick but I thought I should try and be kind so I just said something about being glad he likes it.

But I've never heard anyone in real life use the phrase "hallmarks of a classic" to describe a film, let alone something like Wicked?!

He also uses the word belly for his stomach...

I like him, but omg I cringe so hard sometimes at his choice of words!

He sounds intellectual.

How ridiculous, I’d be really pleased that he can string several words together and make a sensible comment, at least he shows he actually has a brain, has intelligence and knows how to use it. He is a man capable of being creative in his thinking, a rare find these days with so much slovenly speech about.
I think it’s you who is sadly lacking OP.
As for belly, what’s wrong with that, give your head a wobble and stop being ridiculous!

I would judge a film on the quality of the directing/script/acting etc rather than the genres it covers, but to each their own!

I feel sorry for the guy. And you, actually. If that's the worst he's got - using idiosyncratic words, going to the cinema with his friends - and it's still making you feel unsure, you are going to have a v hard time finding the right person for you.

You are not that into him.
it's an on and off relationship,

yet you even mention living together ?

nooooooo

and somewhere there are children ? as you say you are a mother...

noooooo

and it doesn't matter one bit if he is autistic or not

as you are not that into him

move on.

Exactly this.

He sounds like someone enjoying life, and making an effort.

You don’t “get” him, or appreciate him. You should let him find a woman with some love in her heart. Let him go, let him go.

I honestly can't see the problem with what he wrote and think its rather nice that he holds you in mind when you are not there, to such an extent he texts you updates about what he's been doing.

As for the ' how does it feel to be turned on' thing???!! That's a really hard thing to describe and I can't see anything wrong with what he said.

Look, you clearly hold this man in quite a high degree of contempt. You certainly look down on him and think you are better than him.

Let him go and find someone who thinks he communicates like a normal human being, which he does.

@Lighteningstrikes you said:
Conversely he uses the common (horrible IMO) word belly instead of stomach.

'Belly' isn't common, it's posh/ educated. The stomach is the smallish organ under your heart. The belly is the large area at the front of your torso where your intestines and other organs are situated. It's a perfectly good word, nothing common about it, but if you don't want to use it you can say abdomen instead. Important to understand the difference because if you go to your doctor and say you have a pain in your stomach they may assume you actually mean your stomach and not your belly/ gut/ abdomen.

I don't get this at all (and I'm very precise about words in my working life as I'm a writer). In real life, though, surely people can describe things as they want to? Since when is it cringeworthy to say cringeworthy? So what if he says belly rather than stomach? Hallmarks of a classic is just a phrase. HIs film review sounds cute. I think you sound very fussy and that he isn't for you and you aren't for him.

Maybe he’d had a beer, I sometimes get over-excited at mediocre films when I’ve snuck in a gin-in-a-tin. I thought Nope was phenomenal, watched it again and wondered if I’d had some sort of Mandela-effect experience.

You can feel whatever way you want OP. My mate once ditched a guy cos he laughed uproariously at old slapstick. Seemed harsh at the time but she knew she couldn’t spend a lifetime with someone who loved rake-based comedy. Now she’s married to a dude with no discernible sense of humour whatsoever but at least she’s not watching Keystone Cops.

I think it’s really hard to hold some moral high ground that OP can’t have an opinion on an anonymous man she’s dating because ‘people have shitload of problems’ and then reply half a dozen times calling OP pathetic.

When my 19 year old GS and a group of his friends went to see Barbie I was really pleased they felt able to go and see what they wanted. I don't think any of them are gay but so what if they are. I wonder if they will go to see Wicked. Probably have to wait a few weeks till they home from uni for Christmas.

Belly is a deal-breaker. It's a horrible word when applied to humans.

And as for Wicked - I can't comment on his comments because I once had to go and see that rubbish with a school party and just hated it.

I know. I would hate if someone I was dating did this. Just move on from him, OP.

What's not masculine about watching a film and giving a short text review?

I find rigid judgement of what films ‘males’ should like and picking someone’s vocabulary apart way more cringeworthy than anything this man has done.

Hopefully he’ll find your narrow mindedness the same @Bpuss and you’ll find a manlier man who only watches films with cars and never expresses an option in words of more than one syllable to complain about.

My husband loved it. He hates musicals. Lots of men there on Friday.

Anyway, op why is he sending you texts after the movie, did you not discuss it after.

If you are getting annoyed at belly at this stage, it will only get worse!

I agree with your friend. I like the musical but won't be going to see the film as I think splitting a show which is already film length into two films is a cynical attempt to make twice the money from it.

I don't think people think the OP suspects he's gay. It's the subsequent posts saying things like 'I don't know any male who would want to watch it' and 'my husband wouldn't go if his daughters begged him' and 'does he ever show his more masculine side' which people feel are clearly implying that he is.

I find this comment so bizarre. He’s copy-pasted a clichéd response and apparently that means he can ‘string several words together and make a sensible comment’ (what’s sensible about it?), ‘has intelligence and knows how to use it’ (how does that comment indicate intelligence?), ‘capable of being creative in his thinking’ (by using a clichéd phrase and not sharing his own opinion).

I mean come on, how low is the bar? He said precisely nothing about what he thinks of the film. That is what is cringeworthy.

And unless the OP properly has the ick, I don’t think it’s anything to break up over. Especially if he’s otherwise decent. It would be easy enough to just ask “oh, how so?” And encourage a little bit of thought and insight.

But this is honestly ridiculous. The absolute pandering over a man who has rehashed a common review trope is absurd.

I think he sounds nice. How should he talk?
You sound very judgemental.

I don’t think he’s done anything cringe. He sounds great. And Wicked was brilliant! I loved it. It’s great he was comfortable enough in himself to say that as so many men I know wouldn’t even dare set foot in the cinema to see it. He sounds really lovely.

But OP does sound pretty pathetic. Reverse the roles and it would be collective outrage! If OP is allowed to shit on someone for no reason, I have no issue with the previous poster calling her pathetic! Don't dish out nastiness if you can't take it.

@Screamingabdabz you think a man wanting to watch a musical just because he fancied it would be gay? What an odd and blinkered opinion. Yes, musical theatre probably attracts an above average number of gay men, but I can assure you that many, many straight ones enjoy it both as performers (pro and amateur) and viewers.