to think boarding schools are no longer ok...

[BaklavaRocks]

Inspired by another thread, and some old YouTube documentaries I've recently watched, I can't help but feel boarding schools for under 13's (i.e. boarding prep schools) have had their time.

Maybe they used to be an acceptable option, but with all the research we now have available, showing the damage done by separation of young children from their parents, do you think boarding for v young kids (8/9/10/11) will eventually be banned except in v exceptional circumstances?

And if our politicians including past PMs like Johnson and Cameron were not a product of boarding schools, do you think they'd have more compassion and be less cut off from emotion and feelings? and better able to relate to us common folk?

So if we remove the 1% to allow for the tiny number whose circumstances mean they are better off NOT living at home I would say 50% of Boarding school pupils have no good reason to be there - other than convenience for the parents.

And as for saying its not necessarily Boarding school that messes people up - virtually ALL the men I went to school with who Boarded (and I keep in touch with) are divorced or single whereas most of the ones who were Day pupils are married. Small sample and could just be a very odd coincidence but i think its telling.

@Another76543 About 80% of boarders are full boarders. The rest are weekly boarders or flexi board.

Where’s this from as the 2023 census states 66,000 pupils at boarding and the ISC states 70,000 ( at one time or another ) ie accounting for those that stay occasionally due to weekend sporting commitments etc
Just interested in where your stats are from

@StandingSideBySide From here https://www.schoolsmith.co.uk/boarding-schools/

I know they are from 2020 and there are more recent sources, but they are the only ones I could find that broke down the kind of boarding taking place.

“Full boarders” are often allowed home at weekends when they choose though. There are very few schools left where pupils are only allowed home during exeats.

How very judgemental. You think your childcare was superior because you used a childminder or nanny. Wow.

I would never put my child in a boarding school. Never

The site has weekly boarding separately accounted for. Of course full boarders might go home occasionally at weekends, but nobody is paying for full boarding covering weekends, but taking their child home every weekend. That would be crazy. Just pay for weekly boarding.

Ok
The 2020 date accounts for the discrepancy in numbers, that makes sense. There’s not really a lot in it year on year but here’s some nice diagrams 😌 courtesy of the ISC latest report.
The one with the pie charts is interesting as it gives intel on boarding based on type and age.

I didn’t say every weekend. There are plenty of parents paying for full boarding where children go home for weekends, when they want to. The difference in price between weekly and full boarding is often relatively very small.

Ours were quite strict but tbh they wouldn’t have had time anyway with Saturday school am and sporting commitments after lunch then on Sunday there’s Cathedral.
They had Exeats though ( mid term break, none of ours wanted to come home though ).
Plus we could meet for lunch in town whenever they were free, even during the week if they had free periods.

Same, I agree with you but am going to have to put my child into nursery too. Work won't let me reduce my hours to part time so I'm having to return full time for around 12 weeks and then will stay at home for a whilst she's tiny. I have to go back for 12 weeks though otherwise I'm liable to pay back a lot of the mat leave payments.

I went to a prep school but didn’t board. My sister flexi-boarded by choice and loved it.
Anecdotally girls seem to have better experiences than boys, and I wonder if that’s because they tend to have more nurturing friendships.

I worked for a family who churned out children and sent them all to board at 8 because that’s what they had done and their parents before them and grandparents etc. Very, very successful family, three of them are at the top of their fields. All are emotional wastelands but have no idea. They have idyllically material lives, have married similar people, are repeating the same pattern with their own children. They have no idea that they’re fucked up because they only socialise with people like them, from a similar background. It’s like that awful film Saltburn but in real life. Weird as fuck.

@StandingSideBySide Do you have a link? Sorry I cant read those small charts and the ,magnifier does not work on them. Thanks.

It seems about £2000 difference, Makes me wonder why all those parents are complaining about vat bankrupting them when they supposedly happily pay for full boarding, but mainly have their kids in weekly boarding.
Or maybe parents take their kids out for special occasions at weekends, so it is very occasional.

I didn't say that or judge anyone. I've already said that I know a lot of people don't have a choice. It was just what I felt most comfortable with

Knife attacks, sen etc.. happen in lots of schools including boarding and private schools.

Anyone remember this awful hammer attack by a pupil on two other pupils as they slept?
https://www.cps.gov.uk/south-west/news/update-private-school-pupil-given-life-sentence-ham

Nursery does not prevent kids having a positive attachment to their parents. Such bullshit!

It's neglect. The science of child development overwhelmingly points to children needing a caring, loving and supporting care-giver.
I could never understand how a parent could pack their young child off to be looked after by random people.

That's just ridiculous. So what do you want parents to do? More fucking guilt-tripping. I needed to work for many reasons. My children loved nursery. They did far more fun things than I would ever have done with them.

Of course we're not! Are we seeing generations of traumatised children as a result? No.

Maternity leave wasn't 6 months though. It was 18 weeks when I had my elder two, 25 and 27. Can't remember how long it was with my 3rd but it was slightly longer.

6% of all boarders are children of UK Forces parents. A further 6% are children of UK parents working overseas. A significant 37% of boarders are foreign nationals.51%, of the total boarding population of 75,000 pupils are UK parents not working overseas or in the military.

What's your point? It's still a choice being made by the parents, it's not necessary to work in the military nor indeed is it even necessary to use boarding school if you are, especially in this day in age you can forge a career that enables a better work life balance in the military, but it does restrict choices and career growth, something we were happy to CHOOSE for our children to avoid boarding school.

Well personally I'd prefer to see my child every day. They might be strangers to start with, then they get to know them. My kids loved their caregivers. I had to take my eldest after 9am every day because there was one minder she got very attached to and she preferred that she was there when she went in.

Presumably you have never used a nursery so don't judge what you don't know!

You are absolutely judging people who send their babies to nursery. Do you think we did it for the hell of it?

@corkindigo My point is that there are comments stating things as fact that are just untrue.