Would you bring Dh food back from the restaurant on your birthday?

[Almostthattimeoftheyearagain]

It’s my birthday this week, I have a young Dd and the plan is to have a nice day with her. It’s things she enjoys doing, but I like doing them with her too…we’ll visit santa, go to a Christmas village, maybe a film and then pizza (we’ll be doing more of this kind of things at weekends too with Dh)
Dh will be working all day until 6, it’s dark and cold by then and Dd will get tired, plus i’m not fussed about going out in the evening.
Dd and I will have the dinner out a bit earlier and be back by 6. Would you bring Dh some food from the restaurant back for his dinner? Feel a bit mean not doing so and him having a toastie or something for dinner, but also on a budget before christmas and it’s a fair bit extra to bring a pizza back, plus Dh hasnt planned making any dinner or getting a takeaway for my birthday, I’ve organised it all, although I know he’ll get a cake a small presents off dd

No.

No, he's put no effort into your birthday, why should you arrange his dinner? Have a lovely day with your DD.

Can't be have a ready meal or shop bought pizza?

No. But then I wouldn't be going to the restaurant that day for my birthday meal. I'd be waiting until a weekend when DH could join us and we'd be going out as a family.

But I also wouldn't be doing Christmas stuff with a small child on my birthday in November!

But everyone's different so do what you feel works for you.

Can he not cook for himself?

You say you’re not bothered and then seem resentful, which is it?

See what he does on the day (morning) and decide then.

@murasaki He will have bought and wrapped presents with Dd, cards, balloons & bought a cake. Is that crap? Asking honestly

@Anotherworrier Not bothered about what?

I know exactly what he’ll do as its the same as always 😂 present, cards, balloons and cake at breakfast before work

Ah, that's good then. But I wouldn't bring back dinner if you're eating out and there are budgeting concerns. He can eat something when he gets in and you all enjoy the cake together.

Also, you and dd may have leftover pizza!

No, but then I wouldn't celebrate my birthday just with the kids. TBH generally we get a babysitter and go out in the evening.

How is your relationship generally?

If you were already going out with DD, then I wouldn't expect DH to have made dinner plans.
Ask him - do you want to eat together at 6, or do you want to do your own thing?

@itsgettingweird I’m not at work, dont want to sit around in the house on my birthday, I like celebrating on the day too really. So many things out for Christmas, was thinking we’d start this week

If your DH is working until 6 then it'll be a bit before he gets in, maybe he'll organise takeaway then ? Has he said he's not getting takeaway ? It sounds like he's doing what he can with a gift, card, balloons etc that sounds lovely. Can you all not go out at the weekend and do Santa then too instead of him missing out on that because of work . If you must go out on your birthday then I'd bring food home, there's not much he can do regarding the meal and day out if he's working.

Yes I would, since he's working and can't join in the fun, seems a bit mean to celebrate without him rather than do something on a day he has off. I wouldn't expect him to take a day off work for my birthday.

We don't really do much for birthdays but if we do then we tend to discuss beforehand what the expectation is from each other.

I’d bring him something back. If a pizza is a bit pricey, then a treat from a stall to have as pudding if he cooks for himself, or ordering a cheaper takeaway to be delivered.

I think he’s made a reasonable effort for your birthday, especially if you’re on a budget before Christmas.

Have tapas and a drink after your daughter is asleep. Even if you are full and just have a couple of olives you’ll have the feeling of having an adult celebration. Plus he can essentially make an omelette for his dinner.

If it's your birthday on Thursday you're my birthday twin!

Happy Birthday 🥳

Ooof Christmas things without him is harsh imo, I'd be upset if DH did that to me whilst I was at work, especially if money was quite tight. Sounds nice going out together on your bday though, just yikes. Anyway, no, but I'd get a takeaway or similar when we were all home and have something packed or smaller for lunch. If you're eating out then he'll be fine making something for himself I'm sure.

no way, he’s only doing the bare minimum.

Well no, but then I wouldn't be celebrating my birthday without my DH. It seems a bit odd that you are making a day of it with DD but deliberately leaving DH out. I suspect there is far more to your relationship woes than just this.

What else do you think he should be doing considering he has work?

He will have bought and wrapped presents with Dd, cards, balloons & bought a cake

Doesn't sound that bad?

Could he not take the day off and join you?

I wouldn't bring dinner back from the restaurant, but I'd have something in the house he could easily cook, like a pizza from a shop.
He's certainly not ignoring your birthday.

That’s he’s not going to dinner.

OP that’s lovely!! Bring him some dinner back! Hope you have a nice bday.