Hi all,
Me and dh no longer have sex. We have been married a while and have two primary age children. I know the lack of sex is not something dh is happy with but he doesn't often initiate anyway these days.
The problem is, I have made it clear to him that the lack of any physical touch and emotional connection outside of the bedroom is what has killed my sex drive but nothing changes.
I understand that people have different love languages, and dh does things for me such as acts of service, but he doesn't bother with me for days then all of a sudden becomes interested in me, it's very off putting and makes me feel used. There will be no kisses or hugs, no chats etc then on the day he wants sex, all of a sudden he's touching my bum or something.
When I bring this up he says that I don't initiate any physical contact either, which is true, but I don't then expect sex or suddenly start showing an interest one day knowing that's where I want it to lead.
I don't feel I can be physically affectionate outside the bedroom because any touch leads to dh thinking that we are going to have sex.
I have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like as I have no reference from childhood. We are good together in all other aspects of life. Is this fixable?