Assisted dying bill (TW assisted suicide discussion)

[Onand]

I appreciate this is a divisive subject and a sensitive topic for many. Please avoid this thread if you find any discussion of suicide, death, trauma, terminal illness, cancer and faith triggering.

I’m curious to know how others are feeling about this subject, from what I can see there isn’t a lot of discussion, is this a MNHQ decision or an indifference from posters?

My opinion and views on this potential landmark decision are based on my horrifying experience of watching and waiting for my mum to pass from end stage cancer several years ago.

For over four years she fought advanced cancer, she took every treatment and trial offered to her. She endured major abdominal surgery, many blood transfusions, multiple rounds of chemo, lost her hair several times, her bones started to crumble causing excruciating back pain, severe abdominal swelling, double nephrostomy as her kidneys failed, multiple lesions on her brain that caused debilitating headaches and personality changes, her teeth and bones were decaying due to a calcium disorder, various hospital stays for infections, the list goes on.

Truly the most hideous nightmare cancer ‘journey’ anyone could ever imagine, it always felt like one step forward and two backwards and yet she carried on without much fuss or sign of fear to protect the family and herself from the true horrors of suffering.

She never wanted to die and so she never gave up or gave in- that was until the last few weeks of her life when she had no choice. The immense damage and toll cancer had done to her physical body was too much to survive any longer so the last infection she had took her consciousness and so began the final horrifying curveball that cancer has up its evil sleeve, this one is for the loved ones though, because now you have to wait and watch for the end to come. Anyone who has endured this knows exactly what I am talking about, a horror that truly brings home the meaning of hell of earth.

If the assisted dying bill was around whilst my mum was alive I know she would have never entertained an early death whilst she was still in control and able to fight, but I do know that her love for the family would have also meant she would never have wanted us to endure that final two weeks of watching and waiting for her body to shut down if it could have been avoided and she was able to specify what was to happen at the end. There was no possibility of her ever getting better or a miraculous recovery, death was very inevitable and a certainty but we still had to sit and watch, doing oral care and leaving the room as they checked for bed sores and did secretion suction. The only thing I could do to protect and help her was the make sure she was undoubtedly unaware of what was happening as she feared death and leaving us behind- the thought of her being remotely aware meant we were constantly asking the nurses for more and more sedation.

If this bill gives patients the choice to avoid the hideously evil ending of a terminal illness and the following ptsd that impacts the loved ones left behind then it is an opportunity I strongly agree with. Watching a loved one die an agonising death is soul destroying and something I hope no one has to ever endure if said loved one could choose to avoid.

How do others feel?

Everyone**

And in contrast my lovely step mum chose to refuse treatment after chemotherapy made her feel horrendous. But it took nearly 5 painful months for her to die.

Your mother wanted to live and chose all of the treatments. My step mother didn't but was not permitted her choice. A new law should hopefully rectify that.

I support the Bill. I watched DM suffer for 7 years. She absolutely wanted to end things.

i know you don't, you missed the point i was trying to make.

Every time assisted dying gets bought up, someone trots out 'the disabled' and the fallacy that assisted dying will lead to us being killed like cattle, and it gets used as a reasoning to shut down discussion on something a lot of people, including a lot of disabled, agree with, and think ought to be available to those who needs it.

People like Liz Carr get trotted out by the media to repeat the line, and continue to shut down conversation, while the rest of us who are disabled and agree with it get told we the turkeys voting for christmas.

I'm tired of my disabled status being used as a tool to shut down discussion on this topic, i know a lot of people are.

Absolutely agree with you here and I’m sorry to see you experienced the evil of a cancer death with your Dad. As you say once the body starts failing the brakes come off and it can be unfathomably brutal- unless you’ve witnessed it with your own eyes and heart then you cannot truly understand the gravity of what this bill involves for those potentially facing a similar fate.

unless you’ve witnessed it with your own eyes and heart then you cannot truly understand the gravity of what this bill involves for those potentially facing a similar fate.

Should we dismiss the bill and only allow those who have witnessed a death to vote?

Indeed it does go both ways. The coercion to stay alive and die a painful death as ‘the will of god’ will be very real for many religious people of all faiths which is quite depressing. I can imagine a lot of women not being able to make the decision themselves for cultural reasons too or if their partner/ husband is controlling.

Well said 👏 👏 👏 👏

If it were up to me then I’d want anyone voting ‘Not in favour’ to be fully aware of what it is those who need that choice are aiming to avoid.

Todays positive step must be disappointing for you. Here’s to it hopefully being written in law!

Hopefully not, full of loopholes!