To be a bit scared of DH's hobby?

[TurkeyDinosaurs2]

My DH has a pilot's licence, and he flies around for fun. He did originally want to go commercial but changed his mind. It's expensive but he pays for it out of his own spending money, so fine.

I can't help but worry when he goes though. I'm always hearing about light aircraft accidents in the locality, and the fact that he's thousands of feet up, often on his own, in a 1970s plane. We have a young DS and I'm constantly thinking what if he has an accident? He's got 300+ hours apparently and nothing has ever gone seriously wrong, but still.

I don't really know how to deal with it. Someone suggested I go up with him. No thanks.

Any advice?

My ExH flew.

Not commercial.

I'd recommend getting life insurance up to date and for a large amount and then forgetting about it.

Most accidents are pilot error. The aircraft have to be recertified and inspected frequently. It's extrenely highly regulated which means it is actually quite safe.

Pilot error is most likely between 50-100 hours flying or by being a showy off bastard like my ExH was.

I went up with him a few times. Didn't like it.

@Octavia64 thank, that's reassuring. He does tell me the plane he flies is regularly maintained. I don't particularly like flying in the big planes, never mind one of the tiny ones!

My husband and son both go gliding every week! I try not to worry :) There are thousands of adults and kids flying gliders or light aircraft up and down the country every single weekend. It's probably no more dangerous than rock climbing, or water skiing! It's much much safer than free climbing!!!

Don't worry!!

I've been up in a tiny 3 seater plane and it was incredible, not the least bit scary. The views over the North Wales coast and Snowdon were amazing, The pilot was a friend of DH's, and very, very cautious, so I felt safe throughout. Obviously it is a hobby where any little error could prove fatal, but so are a lot of risk taking ventures, like rock climbing, abseiling, base jumping, kite surfing.

Ps. And just wait til your DS wants to try it!! (Honestly, you have to find a way to not worry! Your worry won't help anything. It's safer than you might think! Maybe find some stats somewhere about how many light aircraft and gliders etc.. there are flying every week on the UK and how many fatal accidents there are. I'm sure it's a v small percentage)

@PleaseDontBeMean @ThianWinter
Thank you both so much. That really helps!
My DS hasn't been up yet thankfully (he's only 3 though) but I'm sure he will want to soon. I'm dreading it, but I really do need to accept it's inevitability somehow!

Slightly different, but my teenager is a scuba diver. Last weekend he was picked up by someone from his diving club and they went diving off a boat in the sea.

I have to try very hard not to think about it too much, he's qualified, the rest are all adults with years of experience, but there's nothing quite like the relief I get when he messages to say they are on their way back!

Every single air accident in the U.K. is reported to the AAIB and investigated.

And when I say "accident" I mean anything that breaks unexpectedly on an airplane.

The AAIB's website is here.

www.gov.uk/aaib-reports

You will note there are thousands of them and very very few involve any kind of injury much less loss of life.

The usual is: something stopped working and we had to use emergency procedure X.

A large part of the private pilot's license is learning and doing "emergency" procedures.

So you will learn how to fly if instrument X stops working by using instrument Y and Z instead. And vice versa. You will practice abortibg landings at every possible stage.

A friend of DH's died while out doing one of their mutually shared hobbies. It is scary to think about, but realistically, the chances are tiny and he's at more risk every time he drives to work or crosses the road.

He has a good life insurance policy and pension plan, and keeps his equipment up to date. He's also very sensible and won't go out in adverse weather, tells me where he is etc.

It was scary for me at first, especially knowing his friend had died doing exactly that - but honestly, it was just a fluke accident and not something anyone could have predicted.

@Octavia64 thank you. I seem to remember him mentioning that he had to practise emergency landings when he trained and I think he did some recently when he went up with an instructor (I think he does this every now and then as through the winter he flies less and often can't go up again until he's had a 'refresher' with an instructor). I remember feeling quite reassured by that, I just forget sometimes and let the intrusive thoughts take over!

He’s safer in a plane than a car. Do you worry each time he drives somewhere?

I agree about the life insurance and checking that it covers solo flights. Although I recommend this for all parents, especially SAHP . That way at least if the worst happens money isn't a worry.

Surely not !!
Thing is, if you have a problem with the car, you can pull over! In a plane you have to land, whatever the problem is! That's what scares me I think.

You’re certainly safer in a commercial airliner than a car. Don’t know whether that is true of light aircraft.

I'm not sure that's true when it comes to private/light aircraft.

You have to revalidate your licence every maybe two years by sitting a short practical test with an examiner.

Most places that rent planes will also insist you are "current on type" ie have flown that type of plane within the last three months. If not they'll insist on a hours "check ride" with an instructor to make sure you are ok. If the instructor doesn't sign off then you won't be allowed to rent the plane.

It's not that simple though - light aircraft are much more dangerous than commercial, but working out if safer than car has too many variables.

Lots of people do worry about car journeys, especially if taking a long journey or weather is bad.

Although broadly I do agree with you, people as whole are not good at rational risk assessment.

@Octavia64 ah right. Yes he rents a plane from a club. He was looking into a share last year but changed his mind as he wasn't really flying enough to make it worth the cost. He probably goes up twice a month (otherwise I'd get grumpy as he is often out for a full weekend day, especially if he goes on a proper trip).

I'm guessing that's the reason he goes up with an instructor the odd time. I think he has to fly at least once a month or something to keep flying the club planes.

Yes my ExH started with a club and then bought a share.

The club will have additional rules about flying every so often in order to make sure you are familiar with procedures.

The share in the aircraft was absolutely not financially worth it as he bought half and then they both decided to upgrade the electronics and it was in the hangar being worked on for 18 months!

The club tend to be very protective of their aircraft. If they think there's the slightest chance you'll get a scratch on anything it will be suddenly unavailable.

Statistically he is a lot safer in a plane than on a motorbike.

I recommend insuring him up to the arse too. You can insurance that pays out a monthly sum (I have insurance on H that will pay this till our youngest is 18) and lump sum insurance, and, insurance to pay off the remaining mortgage.

You can't do much about the emotional side if he dies, but you can totally deal with the financial worry though insurance.

I suppose I can believe that. Those motorcyclists look so vulnerable sometimes.
My best friend's DH has a motorbike and she's had similar worries to me as they've got 2 year old triplets!!!
Her argument though is that she's a keen skiier and goes abroad twice a year with her sister (well before kids anyway), probably no less dangerous really!

Statistically he is safer in a plane. Try and look at the facts rather than be led by your emotions.

That's true for commercial airliners but I'm not sure it's the case for light aircraft. I don't say that to terrify the OP, but light aircraft are much more vulnerable than big commercial jets.

My husband is a pilot, but being the daredevil he is, he mainly does aerobatics, enters competions all over Europe and he always entered the red bull races.
Tbh I just put it out of my mind, if he stopped his flying he would be miserable and thats not fair. Just suck it up, there is very rarely accidents.
T