To be a bit scared of DH's hobby?

[TurkeyDinosaurs2]

My DH has a pilot's licence, and he flies around for fun. He did originally want to go commercial but changed his mind. It's expensive but he pays for it out of his own spending money, so fine.

I can't help but worry when he goes though. I'm always hearing about light aircraft accidents in the locality, and the fact that he's thousands of feet up, often on his own, in a 1970s plane. We have a young DS and I'm constantly thinking what if he has an accident? He's got 300+ hours apparently and nothing has ever gone seriously wrong, but still.

I don't really know how to deal with it. Someone suggested I go up with him. No thanks.

Any advice?

When I was younger I knew 2 different men who had pilot's licences - they both died in plane crashes while flying solo (luckily) in small planes. One left a young widow and 3 small children. Insist he has very good life insurance.

Omg 😭😭

@Octavia64 really helpful, thank you! It's good that air traffic helps out too.

I worked in the aviation industry for a long time, and my DP at the time also had a PPL, he was ex-RAF.

Like others have said it is usually pilot error.

A big one is pressure to get home in bad weather and pushing the limits, rather than leaving the aircraft and getting alternative transport home/back to the airfield.

Aerobatics in high performance aircraft (or aircraft that aren't up to it), is also a huge factor, and I'm very sad to say I knew too far many pilots who lost their lives.

The above two points can and does happen to the best of pilots.

I would cover yourself and get life insurance (read the small print and make sure it covers his hobby), and try not to dwell on it.

I understand it's not easy though and it's all easier said than done.

I don't think you can ever stop anyone from who they are and what they want to do. I have seen so many wives and partners try to do this and it just ends up in a miserable and resentful relationship,

You should definitely go up with him at least once to see what it's like.

Always such a worthless statement

Maybe not you but if I had to choose an accident I'd fancy my chances more in a car.

The OP is concerned because of the likely outcome of an accident in a plane, I'm sure she's not quite so worried about DH driving back and for to the airfield in his car

I'd be okay with it if it was a more modern plane.

My sons the same ... goes to very dangerous places where people are regularly killed by sharks ... he's doing what he loves! You've got to let them do their thing.

Yes, exactly.

You may be more likely to get into a car crash than a plane crash, but you're also more likely to survive a car crash - that's the difference.

I don't see it's any worse than many "riskier" hobbies. Motor racing, sky diving etc.

One of my DDs got her PPL at 17. Actually before her car licence. But she had been flying ( accompanied) gliders from age 13 through the ATC.

I'm glad I didn't worry about such things else would be a nervous wreck

I am always so pleased for people who have hobbies they really love. I wish I was the same! Luckily I do love my job. I would check the life insurance covers it and just accept. No point worrying about it, that won't cause or stop anything bad happening. We'll all die of something one day, might as well enjoy it while we are here.

I think if you use your PPL responsibly, make sure you get recurrent checking/training, plan properly (all the Met stuff previously mentioned) don’t push limits and (IMHO) these days fly something equipped with some form of electronic collision awareness then the risks are pretty minimal.

A big one is pressure to get home in bad weather and pushing the limits, rathe than leaving the aircraft and getting alternative transport home/back to the airfield.

Agreed, when PPLs start to use their licence as a means of transport from A to B then there’s a danger risk might start to escalate…the accident reports (especially from the US) provide lots of examples of people with lots of money, fancy kit, but a basic licence pressing on deteriorating weather because they have to get home/to a meeting or whatever and coming to grief.

When I go hill walking with a very experienced friend, my wife asks me to let her know when we are off the hill. My friend points out (correctly), that we are far more likely to be killed or injured on the journey to and from the walk, than we are whilst on the walk.

Not sure about private planes, but isn't flying the safest way to travel? Probably only hear about the accidents because they are less common. They don't report all the car accidents but we still drive.

Not sure if helps but for example the UK CAA annual safety review for 2022 contains the stats for various types of flying:

www.caa.co.uk/publication/download/20660

I will understand your fear in future as my DD (19) has started a course to get her pilot’s license! She’s right at the beginning now so it’ll be a while before she’s actually flying, but it’s a terrifying thought. I do admire people who have a sense of adventure though, I’m sure your DH is a great person to be with.

I completely agree with the poster who recommended taking out a substantial life insurance policy. We did that on both of us when our children were young as we knew that it would be needed if something happened to one of us.

Tbh, I think all parents should do this unless they are wealthy.

That's very interesting. More serious accidents in general aviation (which I presume DH is involved in) since 2019 though. I wonder why.

I’m not sure there’s much more going on than usual statistical variation.

For context It’s maybe worth being aware Serious Accidents can include embarrassing stuff where there’s no injury but the event was never these embarrassing and metal got bent.

I've had a number of lessons, and as long as you've properly checked the weather forecast then it's as safe as sailing. My DH would rather I fly than me ride a bike (motor or otherwise!).

@BruFord

I will understand your fear in future as my DD (19) has started a course to get her pilot’s license! She’s right at the beginning now so it’ll be a while before she’s actually flying, but it’s a terrifying thought.

If she’s at a decent course at a good school it will all be highly regulated and controlled so do try not to worry too much.

That form of light aircraft flying is very safe.

My OH rides bikes. I’ve always HATED them, even more so after one of my closest friends died coming off his last year. But it’s his choice - I ride horses so it’s a play off really. He can go stupidly fast but I’m always at the mercy of a flight animal’s brain…

Insure him to the gunnels and try to forget about it. I remember the first early days were I’d feel physically sick every time I knew he was on the bike- especially as he can’t check in much on long rides and often goes off road and out of signal. I have life 360 on him which helps me check in as I can see he’s still moving etc. I’ve been to a couple of track days too and it’s helped me see he’s actually quite capable / sensible enough.

Flying, gliding, parachuting, skiing, climbing, horse riding, winter mountain walking, trekking and hiking in remote areas, martial arts: all of these are enjoyable and carry some risk compared to sitting watching telly, but the enjoyment is worth it. I’ve done all of these a fair bit. The risks aren’t huge anyway, and I wouldn’t want a dull ultra safe life not being able to have interesting, exciting experiences.
Sports like football carry risks too, but because the perception isn’t of a potential big fatal accident, nobody thinks of these sports as dangerous.

I forgot scuba diving 😁 done that too.
I also meant to say that people who don’t do some of these sports, and don’t understand them, hugely overestimate the risk. They don’t realise how much of the training is on safety procedures and emergency drills. You practise these drills over and over again before you’re allowed to do things without close supervision by an instructor. People sometimes think that if something goes wrong you have to think on your feet and quickly work out what to do. That isn’t the case at all for things like flying and parachuting. You’re taught and tested on the emergencies so thoroughly that when it happens, you don’t need to think, you just automatically respond in the way you’ve practised many times.

Agree with PP, get life insurance cover and try to relax about it when you can.

My FIL - and MIL did too - had a private pilot's licence from when he was young and he even built his own plane. He only gave up flying when he started to struggle mentally, which turned out to be the onset of dementia, in his mid eighties.

Flying is so focused on safety and mechanical soundness, it's not like driving a car as cars are only required to pass an MOT once a year, regardless of how many hours on the road they've had. Aircraft are checked rigorously every time they are going to fly. Nobody expects drivers to have a medical every two years as a minimum. Obviously there are risks attached to flying but there are plenty of mitigating factors as PP have outlined.

Hope you can gain a bit more equilibrium towards it, it's a lovely hobby and your child would probably enjoy it too

@FictionalCharacter @ShodAndShadySenators thank you both, really reassuring.