Occupational flirting

[CuriousJane]

Lighthearted thread!

was just chatting to DH about this. I’m in an industry with lots of very powerful successful middle age men (50s/ 60s). I’m mid 30s, reasonably attractive, successful but not in the same role as these men. I was chatting to DH about how I definitely gently flirt wish these men in work for professional gain. Not overt, or sexual flirting but more banter, putting them down, they seem to love it. I think very successful men really enjoy being sort of put down in a flirty way by younger females.

DH finds it quite humorous and said he can definitely see me doing this and that he can see when I’m doing this with his dad (my fil) which I definitely do. He’s definitely not jealous and if anything finds it quite sexy that I can “manipulate” men like this.

do other women use their sexuality in the workplace? Or am i some kind of succubus.

This is going to go poorly. Unless you’re completely new to MN, you know this.

Why are they sleeping at work?

You flirt with your father-in-law? Gross. Do you have daddy issues?

You flirt with your FIL and your DH finds it sexy???

Ick x 1000 🤢

That's...a bit gross OP.
Reminds me of someone I worked with years ago. Used to make me cringe tbh.

There's no such thing as flirting in a non-sexual way.

Yuck

God lighten up. I’m not talking about being taking them into the store cupboard fgs. I just feel gently banter, which a certain type of men seems to enjoy.

No wonder men don't take women seriously in the work place if women like you OP flirt rather than use your intellect and professional capabilities to get on.

But you wouldn’t do it to a female boss (who likely would have worked a lot harder to get to position than any of these gruesome men). Spew.

Reminds me of at least two episodes of Ally Mcbeal where a woman is a charming and attractive employee who uses her sexuality to her advantage against older men at work. It's not exactly unheard of. Ignore the frosty comments coming up. ☃️

God, lighten up people. It's perfectly fine to flirt with and try to sexually manipulate your FIL and colleagues, while your DH finds it a turn on. And then describe myself as a succubus. It's just bantz, init! Just a bit of fun.

Eurgh

I'm cringing for you OP. Cringing so hard I think I might turn inside out.

oh dear

What you maybe don’t take into account is the next 30 something attractive woman they encounter at work is now more likely to find they expect her to deliver flirtatious “banter” in exchange for professional gain.

Your behaviour creates an expectation that these older men must be serviced in a sexually flattering way by younger women.

You may not make a problem for you or your DH, but you’re creating a problem for lots of other women.

No, I’m a woman and I don’t use my sexuality in the work place. Why on earth would I? I want my colleagues to take me seriously and have no interest in flattering older men — the thought makes me feel a bit sick actually.

I’m sure it’s not uncommon at all. It’s one way to climb the ladder. It’s just a form of manipulation really which some people may need employ for professional gain. I suppose if you don’t mind what these men say about you behind closed office doors then crack on. I doubt they don’t see through the act.

It’s very very ick that you do it with your FIL.

Oh Jane, this thread is not going to go well for you.

What are you getting out of this flirty banter? Obviously not their respect, or deserved recognition and/or progression in your career. And they won’t be doing anything for you that doesn’t come with expectations, so I’m struggling to see what’s in this for you?

Nooo!!! Please do not do this. These old guys will just be even more convinced they are attractive to younger women and when they believe that, they're a liability, making a nuisance of themselves to young women who don't welcome their attentions. You are really not helping your younger colleagues here by fostering their delusions. Also, I really doubt you're helping yourself. Men tend to promote to the Big Jobs in their own image, and however much you flatter their egos when it matters they'd still probably pick a man over you. Or if they recruit on the basis of a woman's sexuality then a younger even more attractive woman.

flirty banter with FIL is digusting

that is grim 🤢

There's a director in our office who openly admits he likes women to be assertive with him, always helped me get decisions out of him so why not 😂

I'm blonde and in my 30s working in a male dominated field, whilst I don't class myself as flirty I try and get on with my colleagues in a 'bantery' way, it's up to them how they take it and if it makes my life easier so be it!

Have you ever stopped to think how your MIL feels about you flirting with FIL?

You’re not going to be mid 30s forever. Look forward to your husband knowing it’s ok for him to flirt with women half his age. You’re sending the message loud and clear.

Is 60 middle aged (missing whatever your point is)?

Also wondering how you’d react if one of these men took your flirting seriously?