I think the point is that the roles available to older men and women are very different.
And Nicole Kidman is a great example, actually. Shes always been naturally willowy so ticks that Hollywood requirement and she’s now plasticised her face so there are no wrinkles. The fact it looks a bit odd is less of a concern to studio bosses compared to choosing an actress who has aged naturally. As she fulfils the stereotypes for Hollywood, she still gets decent roles although I’d still argue her roles aren’t of the same type as male peers.
The reason men’s bodies are easier to attain is because society doesn’t have such ridiculous standards for men. Let’s take the dad bod for example. Perfectly ok to have a bit of a beer belly, still cast as a romantic lead and considered sexy. And that’s great.
How about a mum tum though? No actress has ever been celebrated for having a wobbly tummy. There are no magazine articles revering the “mum bod” complete with a muffin top as a sexy look. Contrast this to men and you’ll find loads of articles talking about how a dad bod is sexy.
Much more attainable healthy body ideals for men.
Even the recent trend for curvier women was unattainable for most. Very few woman manage to have big boobs, curvy bum and thighs while also maintaining a toned flat stomach and a tiny waist. To achieve that look, the majority of women need surgical help - and then go on to die because they’ve had a BBL.
I agree that there has been some movement in expectations towards men and there are more now experimenting with fillers and feeling the pressure to keep a ripped bod.
I think the point is though, if men think “aah fuck it, I’m not doing this shit” they’ll still enjoy success. Looking more wrinkled, greyer or even with a wobbly middle doesn’t affect their career. Hugh Grant, great example. Still considered very attractive despite very obviously ageing.
If a woman decides to age gracefully in the same way, society doesn’t view her in the same way. She won’t have the same career options that would be open to an equivalent male.
And the less well-known the actress is, the more this will apply. A true A-list actress is offered some grace because her name alone is such a huge pull. A La Nicole Kidman. Still doesn’t get the same opportunities as a man but not completely disregarded.
Now take a lesser known actress and actor - without the draw of a famous name, the woman will find opportunities much diminished. Not so the equivalent male actor.
Men and women are not treated equally by society, and we’re a very long way from achieving parity - and that includes women judging other women. Internalised misogyny is real, because it’s really hard to totally disregard the images and messages that society constantly bombards us all with.
We have a very long way to go, unfortunately.