He's p*ssed on the bedroom floor

[Girlmath]

NC for obvious reasons.
I don't know why I'm even sharing this. I think I need to vent because I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone in person.
It's DS's birthday tomorrow (well, today now). DP went to the pub last night, absolutely no problem with that but I asked him not to be too late home because we still have all the wrapping to do, balloons etc.
Children finally fell asleep quite late because they were excited. I got ready for bed and then waited for DP to return. I waited and waited and it got to 10.30 and I was feeling very pissed off and tired so I thought I'm going to have to do this myself or I don't know what time I'll get to bed. Pretty much done by the time he gets back absolutely stinking of alcohol. I'm annoyed so I put the pressies up and he helps me blow up a couple of balloons. I go to bed.
Hour or so later he wakes me up drunkenly getting out of bed in the dark. Then I hear a funny noise, I turn my lamp on and he then opens the door and goes out to the toilet. It takes me a minute to process what the noise was and I realise it was him having a wee behind the bedroom door. It's everywhere. Stinky beer wee. He staggers back in and starts putting his clothes on top of it to try and blot it up. I just get him in to bed and start the clear up. It's all over the cream carpet, splattered up things and all over one of my slippers - it's drenched. He goes to sleep and I clear up as best I can for tonight, I don't want to wake the children.
I'm raging. Hours later I'm just laying here fuming and it's just dawned on me he drove home.
It's just like he has zero respect for me. I started a new job this week, I'm pretty drained. We have family coming over for dinner for DSs birthday. I asked him to do the food shop and the cooking for this birthday tea as I've done them for both children and him for the past 7 years. He scoffed at me and said 'its a Mum job' then reluctantly agreed. Bus has he done a food shop? Nope! That will be for me to do tomorrow - which I didn't want to do as it will be time away from my DS.
He just doesn't take on any of the mental load of anything. As I was wrapping the presents I thought to myself he has no idea what we've got (aside from the main present which he bought) . He hadn't had to think about them, buy them, hide them or even wrap them.
Has he done this on purpose because he knows I won't want to ruin the day tomorrow and 'be in a mood' as he says.
I'm so upset.

Sounds like this literal pisshead isn't the father of your son- That's good- kick the pisser and drunk~ driver out of your home.
Hope your son has a lovely birthday. 🎁 🎉 🎂

OP, has he always been like this?

In the gentlest, and kindest possible way (which NEVER comes across over a keyboard) you have an abusive marriage.
Abuse isn’t just physical violence. Some of the most damaging abuse comes from emotional and mental abuse-and this is what I’m reading in your post.
Just setting aside everything else for a moment, the pissing on the floor and the drink driving (when he was clearly too drunk to even walk straight) are both completely unforgivable. I’m not exaggerating when I say I would be heading immediately for the divorce courts-I have zero tolerance for any kind of abuse (I was in a very abusive relationship before I met my DH and it’s hardened me so much that I won’t tolerate so much as a filthy look)

You and your DC deserve so much better OP. So much better

Your other half has a serious problem. If he is doing this now, what is he going to do in the future. Any man with respect for his family and home and, indeed, himself is not going to behave like this? And, it will only get worse. You need to read him the riot act and start to take a long, clear, cold look at your future. Are you really happy and feel you are worth clearing up the mess of some drunk bloke who does not respect you or yours? You spend your days trying to hold together a home, family, cook food, clean, etc and this is how you are repaid. You really need to take a look at your needs from now on and those of your children.

This , @Girlmath .
A fine young Uni Student was killed because two foul drunk women were racing neck and neck- they ploughed into him as he was delivering pizzas at night to earn money for his course.

They were unrepentant and left him to die, one abandoning the car.

A friend of mine heard the crash and went to investigate, and called the Emergency services, but the poor boy didn't make it.

Drink/drug driving is inexcusable.

[Stared blankly at thread]

OP why are you with an inconsiderate, drunken drink driving criminal misogynist?

Seriously why?

The fact he pissed on the floor, expected it to be your problem and then you cleaned it up is testament to how he views you. Your his skivvy doing “mum jobs” whilst he goes off to have his fun risking the lives of other

I don’t normally go down the LTB route but this is a last straw if ever I heard one. LTB

Firstly I hope your son has a wonderful birthday and you manage to enjoy all your hard work.

Secondly your DH is a disgrace. I could not be with such a useless, misogynist and drunken pig.

I truly hope your new job enables you some financial independence, enough for you to move on and enjoy your life.

I'll tell you this, I'm a lone parent, my life is lovely and peaceful! Yes, sometimes hard and crazy but rather this than a life with a revolting man in it.

Hi just after some advice leaving partner after 25+ years his house as I couldn't get on mortgage as had bad credit back then buying things on catalogues for my baby and house he wouldn't let me work until my youngest went to school as he didn't want them I child care so 7 yrs then I privately house cleaned as had to be there for school drop off and pick ups he never took time off to be with us in holidays he keep all child tax credits and working tax credits I just got child benefit and I bought everything for children growing up clothes/ shoes he's got 7 yrs left on mortgage and was 36000when he bought it now worth 128000 but refusing to give me anything everything in house is mine as bought and paid for by me need some advice don't want have the house but not leaving without anything both kids have grown up ace thanks to me as son said the other day!!!!!

That he drove home like that gives me the absolute chills, OP. The rest of it is horrendous enough that I would be telling you to get rid of him, but the kind of person who would do that is a dangerous liability in general. I'd be so tempted to report him, though obviously it wouldn't necessarily help your current situation!

So sorry: I really hope you have RL support.

He's awful. No doubt he also consider scrubbing his piss off the floor a woman's job and he's probably not even sorry for his behaviour.

Drink driving would be a dealbreaker for me. I feel like once someone's crossed that line, they'll keep doing it. Depending on the age of your kids, I would speak to them about how they never get in the car when the driver has been drinking alcohol (including Dad).

I hope you manage to have a nice day for your son with the rest of your family.

Are you okay @Girlmath?

The driving would be the end of the road for me. But ‘mum job’ ? What a twat

Oh and I've conbutied to bills over years he's not paid them all

You don't have to put up with this, there are men around who don't treat their partners in this fashion. You deserve much better

The absolute shit that women tolerate to be in a relationship bewilders me.

At first I thought the pissing on the floor was going to be the main point of the thread, and I was already disgusted and raging on your behalf. But with the rest of the revelations… wow! Get the hell out of there!

Report him for drunk driving this morning. He’s likely still over the limit.

You really need your own thread for this.

That's really awful. If it was an absolute one off and he is mortified today and tries so hard for a very long time, and was an otherwise good partner and Dad, then I could probably just about move on from that. However, he knew that it was your son's birthday before even going to the pub. The drink driving in unforgivable. That would make it much harder to get over. The woman's work aspect doesn't endear him does it. So, combined together, I don't think that i could get passed this, even if he was prepared to significantly change. I think that you would be better off without him.

I had a father who would drink too much and occasionally piss everywhere and be sick and as a teenager I would clean up after him. You definitely don't want your kids becoming aware of that sort of behaviour. You need to think about them too.

Just to give a different perspective

My DH has never driven drunk. Hard no on that. I am not commenting on the abdicating his responsibilities either.

However - He did pee on the floor in a corner once. It was 24 years ago and the carpet was new. He tried to clean it up with toilet roll but he was too drunk to think straight. He was very embarrassed the next day and cleaned up properly. 24 years later he isn't an alcoholic and he rarely drinks to excess (3 or 4 cans on a Friday or Saturday night). I think the weeing incident was actually a bit of a turning point in his relationship with alcohol. So the weeing in its own is disgusting but not inevitably a sign that he is going to become a shuffling alcoholic.

He sounds hideous, but the drunk driving is absolutely unforgivable and I would report him for that. Too many innocent people are killed by selfish bastards like him and he will do it again unless he faces some consequences.

My ex pissed on my baby's cot when I was 38 weeks pregnant and all the clothes. I stayed another miserable 10 years. Things didn't get better.

Sorry dont know why my post has gone on this thread🥴dont know what I'm doing

I feel so sorry for you op. You clearly are such a fantastic mum and want your son to have the best day. You are now going to have him and being very tired hanging over your son's day. It sounds like you deserve much better.

This and the life children have to witness, op do you honestly think this is healthy?

Whats his drinking like normally? Does he have form for this?