AIBU to not want to meet my friend for a walk and to meet elsewhere?

[GingerbreadCrisps]

A friend who I haven’t seen for a while wants to meet up. This is fine and I’m looking forward to seeing her but she keeps wanting to meet for a walk. I’m disabled and walking is becoming increasingly difficult for me. My balance is poor enough on a good day but it’s Winter now and I really can’t get out at all when it’s icy. Plus I have cough variant asthma and the cold makes it much worse so that I can barely breathe for coughing.

I’ d suggested meeting at my home, her home, a restaurant, cafe etc but she’s a bit fanatical about walking and keeps saying that she’d rather meet for a long walk. She’s financially comfortable so that’s not an issue.

AIBU to keep declining and offering alternatives? I’ve explained my situation but she says that a good walk will make me feel better. It definitely won’t.

TIA

You need to be more straight with her.

Tell her that you cannot physically walk very far and so she can go for a walk beforehand and then meet you in a cafe afterwards for a coffee.

If the only option is to meet for a walk, then explicitly tell her that you can’t meet.

Does she have anxiety?

She doesn’t sound like a very sympathetic friend. Maybe ask her to call you for a long chat while she walks, it’s obviously not the same though.
Does she just never do coffee/lunch/dinner out?

This is a friendship that has run its course.

Next time she messages about meeting up be blunt. Flossie I have already told you xx times I am disabled and can’t walk and I am upset about how dismissive you are of that fact. You are obviously prioritising your daily steps over meeting up, so let’s leave it.

"I CAN'T WALK because I am DISABLED. Do you UNDERSTAND?"

She sounds a wonderful friend

Not !!

She can have a walk before or after seeing you

Surely she can spare an hour over a cuppa

If she can't then no loss as she isn't a friend

After her saying a good walk will make you feel better i wouldn't be meeting her at all and id be ending the friendship. Your disabled a good walk will not make you feel better it will harm you. The fact she doesn't get this says a lot about her as a person

...Or walked it's course

You're too busy to sit around, and I'm too busy to make time to see someone who is determined to put their step count above my comfort, and who arrogantly thinks they know my health better than I do.

How selfish of her. ‘I’m not sure I can make it any clearer. A walk will make me much worse, not better. I’m disappointed you can’t find time to sit with me.’

What a terrible way to treat someone x

Has she got some sort of issue with exercise and avoiding situations with food?

I have dyslexia and comprehension issues, I didn't read that bit

Shoot me

Do you think that maybe she just doesn't believe the extent of your health issues and is trying to force you out walking thinking it'll be good for you? Or if it is genuinely just about her step count like you mentioned, then she is absolutely selfish and really isn't the kind of friend you need around you.
Either she wants your company, or not. And if she does then she will have to come to a compromise and meet in a setting that is safe and comfortable for you.
If she won't back down, politely decline while reaffirming your reasons why, and just let some space grown between you...

Why would you even entertain her nonsense? Just say no!

Thanks all.

I love the treadmill idea!

She doesn’t have anxiety or any food related issues. Perhaps it is just that our friendship isn’t important to her now. I’ll have another talk with her but no I won’t risk my health when there are other options.

I'm struggling to understand why you describe her as your friend.
I'd have more concern for the health or disability concerns of a casual acquaintance or neighbour.

Keep still ......

Vile person
I can't help having a disability

Sorry. It's nothing to do with your disability, which I fully understand is not your fault. I have compassion for anyone who has added difficulties, including you. I have a neurological disability myself.

It's all to do with my sick sense of humour.

You asked to be shot. Someone offered ......

Is it a disability or a condition?

It amused me.

I sympathise with the poster, but it was a snarky post and you nailed it very well.

I'm registered disabled, it's one of my conditions.

I'm not having a good time lately. My sense of humour may be absent.

@AfterMJ

Ignore them. An insane Mumsnet trait is being aggressively unpleasant to someone who missed a detail in the OP.

Especially interesting on a thread where basically all the responses have said in one way or another that it's poor behaviour not to make a small concession to accommodate difference.

^ this made me laugh 😃