AIBU to not want to meet my friend for a walk and to meet elsewhere?

[GingerbreadCrisps]

A friend who I haven’t seen for a while wants to meet up. This is fine and I’m looking forward to seeing her but she keeps wanting to meet for a walk. I’m disabled and walking is becoming increasingly difficult for me. My balance is poor enough on a good day but it’s Winter now and I really can’t get out at all when it’s icy. Plus I have cough variant asthma and the cold makes it much worse so that I can barely breathe for coughing.

I’ d suggested meeting at my home, her home, a restaurant, cafe etc but she’s a bit fanatical about walking and keeps saying that she’d rather meet for a long walk. She’s financially comfortable so that’s not an issue.

AIBU to keep declining and offering alternatives? I’ve explained my situation but she says that a good walk will make me feel better. It definitely won’t.

TIA

You already know the answer OP.

It's strange that she doesn't.

I wouldn't want a friend who has no concern at all for my welfare.

You need to spell it out for her as clearly as you have in your OP. If you’ve done that and she still insists on a walk I’m afraid my answer would be no.

She sounds very rude and dismissive. You need to be as clear as you can. E.g I can't go for a walk as it makes my health worse. If you would luke to meet I am able to do xyz. Let me know if you want to meet

I think I’d say, firmly: ‘You aren’t hearing what I’m saying. I’m disabled and walking hurts me. Trust me when I say that I know myself better than you do and I’m not going to feel better joining you for a walk. So, where shall we meet?’

She’s being so selfish about this. She can go for a walk anytime. Both of you need to want to do it. Who keeps on insisting on doing what they want to do even when they’ve been told no?!

Have you told her you find walking difficult???

She sounds incredibly stupid.

Have you told her you find walking difficult???

Yes and she already knows but I have explained my issues to her.

She’s fanatical about walking and hates missing her allocated step count. She’s said that she’s too busy to sit around but I don’t have the time to end up in hospital either.

Don't worry OP - I've got this one.....

From the OP

"I’ve explained my situation but she says that a good walk will make me feel better."

‘You don’t seem to be understanding. I am not physically able to walk. So we can meet for coffee or not meet’

Tell her to go for a walk and meet you at a cafe when she's got her 10000 steps.

Then politely tell her to meet up when she is less busy! She sounds a nightmare to be honest, far too self centered.

Just say no.

I love walking but am still perfectly capable of other types of meetups! Maybe she has an exercise addiction.

Tell her to buy a treadmill then you can meet at her house and chat whilst she does her steps.

I would be telling her to take a long walk off a short pier OP😂. I can’t stand people like this who have absolutely no clue that there others out there with physical limitations. She doesn’t sound like a good friend at all.

I'm disabled too and if someone said that I'd feel like they're implying my disability is self inflicted and could be fixed by a simple walk.
Also "too busy" to sit around sounds like you're an inconvenience to her.
She doesn't seem very socially aware. Not sure it'd be a friend I'd want to meet

She sounds extremely self-absorbed. Don’t put your health at risk for this walk OP.

Wow, so she doesn’t value your company enough to meet you without combining it with a walk - in fact the walk is more important to her than seeing you. She doesn’t sound like a friend. Sorry ☹️

By the way, I say that as somebody who is obsessed with my own step count - but I don’t expect other people to accommodate my obsession!

Hi friend, as I have explained, going for a walk is not an option for me due to health issues. I can meet for coffee, lunch, a movie etc once it is in easy access for me. I appreciate this may not suit you and entirely understand if you do not want to come.

(If they refuse, you are better off with out them.)

does she know you’re disabled?
very strange to almost force a disabled person out for a ‘long walk’

Well, think you’re going to just have to say that as lovely as it would be to see her you physically can’t mange a long walk so will have to pass up on meeting. It’s a shame but you can’t be making yourself ill over it.

It does sound rather like an addiction, but still she has to understand that the cold, and extra exertion could have a significant effect on your health. If she fails to understand that, after it is has been explained, then you know what to do OP.

She sounds very odd.

Suggest a cafe that's 10000 steps away from her house and say it's that or nothing.

Exactly this!
Selfish mare. Why can't she walk and meet you after for a hot chocolate?
Bin her!

Easy she can walk to the coffee shop.. You drive and meet her there.. She can finish her steps en route home...

I am sorry OP but she isn't a friend. She doesn't value spending time with you why she wants to do her exercice at the same time. I would call her out on this. "I know you like your exercice Jen, but surely you can walk before or after our meetup. As I've said and as you know I'm disabled so if you're looking for a walking friend I suggest calling someone else."