To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

50 euros a night would get you a hotel in a very nice area.

I stayed in the centre of Alicante in a lovely hotel, for 50 euros a night.

Uk hotel prices are not the same as hotel prices in other countries. Hotels are cheaper in lots of other countries.

@Lentilweaver i wouldn’t know how to get it under 100. Meat is around 15 quid for the week minimum. Fruit and veg another 10 to 15. That’s almost half the budget before you’re looking at odd bits and pieces like butter or tin foil, toilet roll and kitchen roll etc.

It's up to you. But if you really wanted to get it down, you could have meat less. I eat lots of vegetarian meals.

Oh come on. Of course its safe. I have stayed in £30 a night- on my own- and it's been safe. I have gone all over the world alone and am going to Greece alone, I might add. I expect nothing bad to happen. I will be hiking, going to museums and heritage sites, to a beach and on a wine tour. Whats not fun about that?

I think therein lies the problem.

OP said she can't afford to go on holiday.

But when we point out to her that there are loads of hotels around Europe at 50 euro a night, she thinks that they're not safe. That's a strange attitude.

She cant afford to go on holiday to expensive places but she wouldn't dare go on holiday to more normal places as she would be "slumming it"..

So you can actually afford to go on holiday OP.

You just won't go to the normally priced places.

Try living on £8000 like I do

There are certain places in the world where cheap hotels will be unsafe for a single woman. Spain, Greece, France are not those. I found an AirBNB with a woman superhost and a very high rating. What could happen to me? Nothing, that's what.

Yes but I didn't tell the OP to go to a hotel in a remotely dodgy area.

I told her that there are cheap hotels in Spain.

She still said 'are they safe'?

Of course they're safe! I've stayed in absolutely beautiful hotels in Spain for 50 euro a night. Why doesn't she look on booking .com like the rest of us do

YANBU and £75k isn't a massive salary after tax.

I agree with this. Lifestyle creep (the common pattern of spending more as you earn more money) plays a big part in why I think a lot of people on comparably high salaries feel like they are struggling. As soon as salary goes up, the spending on outgoings go up - bigger house, flashier car, more lavish holidays, more eating out etc. I don’t think our parents did this to the same extent we do.

The trick is to not keep your income to outgoings at the same ratio everytime your salary increases. Your outgoings and life upgrades have to happen at a much slower rate in comparison to your % salary increase.

I think OP has lost a bit of grip on reality.

She asked is a "50 euro" hotel safe.

Why wouldn't it be safe.

Do you expect all hotels to cost 300 pounds a night or something?

If only it were as easy as putting 4.5x our income on rightmove. I’d have moved into that lovely 4 bed for 550K already.

but yes, we were looking at the SW which is more expensive, but not the likes of Wimbledon, Putney, Surbiton, etc, that would’ve just been a big LOL, on our budget

Nail on head.

OP: “I can’t afford a holiday, there’s nothing under £1500”

everyone else: here’s a week in Spain for £250

OP: Oh, I didn’t mean THAT sort of holiday

OP you’re talking absolute bollocks and you must be terrible with money. My partner and I do a weekly Tesco shop online and it’s between 50-80 for two of us adults. Stop eating meat, that’ll bring the bill down. Last year we went on a multi-city trip around Spain, Portugal, France and Germany for 3 weeks for about £1500 each so imagine how much less we could have spent if we’d just done a week in one place. We’ve been to many places for about £200 each for a week - Naples, Madrid, Lisbon, Corfu. We recently went to Indonesia for 10 days - £1500 each. Quite why you’d consider spending that on a week in Devon when you could go long haul somewhere exotic is beyond me.

Our combined income is probably about 80k so a little more than yours but I lived alone for several years before I met my partner. Even then, on a single salary of 50k, I saved at least 500 (sometimes more) a month and went on holiday twice a year. I went to New York for a week actually for under £1k - you can get flights for about 300 now and plenty of affordable airbnbs. I don’t have kids but my mortgage and bills combined is about £1200 so I was spending a similar amount on outgoings to you. The math ain’t mathing.

Ok then… stop looking in the SW then? There are plenty of houses you can afford in outer London, just not in the particular area you’re looking. Maybe you can’t afford your ideal location or house - but that’s not the same as not being able to afford anything.

That’s for one adult and a child? You can get it down to £100. And I’m not even in the “you’re insane if you’re not living it up on 75K” camp.
where and how do you shop?

a standalone, undercounter freezer (£150) was one of the best house things I ever bought. It saves me time and money because I cook a double/triple portion of anything that can be frozen.

We have stopped. We wanted to be close to family but guess we can’t afford that pretty basic want on our high salaries (even avoiding the obviously expensive areas). So we’ll look elsewhere in the new year. Might move to Norwood Junction!

Last time I looked it wasn’t quite as simple as that.

Exactly . Yeah you can definitely get a really nice weeks holiday In Spain and Portugal for around 250-300 euro.

People saying they can't afford to travel . You've got to shop around for options like with everything else.

I can't afford a Chanel bag. But I can afford a bag from lots of other shops. It doesn't mean that I can't afford a bag.

I can't afford a holiday in a five star all inclusive resort, but I can afford three holidays a year in a nice hotel in Spain.

but were those during school holidays? The difference between a 4 night center parcs break in May and August is over 1K

@Lallydallydune but I don’t think I should have to stop eating meat on 75k? That’s my point. It’s insane that’s a suggestion for what is a higher income than many.

You don't HAVE to. People were just pointing out thar if you want to reduce your food expenses you could reduce the most expensive item

A lot of people eat a mainly vegetarian diet these days.

I totally agree with you @Lallydallydune. Many safe and lovely hotels below £50. Maybe I didnt express myself very well. Just like many bags other than Chanel.

What's your reply to us showing you - that you can' get a full week's holiday in a nice hotel in Spain, for 200 pounds, for the whole week?

We eat meat every day, we don’t spend £140 a week on food.

We have been to New York for 6 nights, we would NEVER spend £1500 on a week in Devon! Its all relative.

We've got a cottage booked in France in a nice rural area, an hour from Paris for a week for £300 in the Easter school holidays. There is a station within walking distance that goes to Paris. There's a local brewery, theres pottery classes, theres outdoor walks for free.

We make a point of going on holiday and stay in nice, interesting places in safe areas. But we are tight. We often get lunch or breakfast from the supermarket - but we find this part of the experience because that closer to experiencing the culture than eating in a restaurant a lot of the time. I LOVE having a good nosy in a foreign supermarket. It's one of the things we make a point of doing.

If we go to a city we do as many free things as we can and generally begrudge having to pay for entry to places - it has to be something we REALLY want to do, or we don't do it.

I have never really got this mentality that you HAVE to pay the earth for things whilst away. You can, but it's a choice but often it's unnecessary. You just should do research before you go. If you do eat out, you don't eat in the tourist trap, you choose the restaurant in the street over that has better ratings anyway.