To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

I don't understand people who say holidays are expensive, but then you see that they are looking at five star results.

"Oh my God holidays are so expensive that ski chalet is 4000 pounds".

No, you're looking at expensive places!

You can get a really nice air b and b flat in lots of European countries for 400 - 500 euro a week.

It's the MN way. Buy/do the most expensive version available of everything and then complain your money doesn't go very far.

My DH and my salaries exceed yours, and I do not have the standard of life I was born into!!! My mother never worked, we had nice cars a second home and holidays abroad, at times it feels like we are just getting by!! I feel your pain.

You do realise that most people don't have a second hone abroad.

So your parents were extremely wealthy.

And you are not missing out now. You are just living a normal life.

Sometimes I think that growing up in wealth is not good for people, as they have a very unrealistic expectation of the rest of their life.

Threads like this really are designed to make most of the rest of us feel shit.

Try living on £30k like I have to.

Same here and I manage fine on that as we had even less when I was a kid. I was an avid reader and my mum could rarely even afford to spend £5 on a new book for me let alone a bloody second home. I had to make use of the library and other free activities.

You feel her pain because you don't have a second home anymore?

How entitled and disgusting are some people.

There are children who don't have food in the UK!!

They have explained it, mortgage and childcare.

30k is a fine salary.

I often feel like some rich people do these kind of things, just to be sadistic and cruel.

One poster on here says that she's in pain because she doenst have a second home!

It's like "how can I feel extra rich" by complaining about my mansion and my ski chalet to people who don't have those things.
You know? They get an extra thrill out of it.

Does anyone remember when that rich kid went up to a homeless person in the UK? and burnt money in front of his face. It's like that

We were also very reliant on those things when I was a kid, but access to both them these days is increasingly a privilege, frankly. That's austerity for you.

I do have a decent free library near me, with no transport costs to get there either, and I know that makes me luckier than many. Which is an awful thing to say, considering that as a child it was something I'd have taken for granted.

It’s fine if you have low rent/mortgage and no childcare or someone else (aka as a taxpayer) is subsidising your childcare and rent. I am a former free school meals kid who worked my way up to a comfortable lifestyle except that it is not as comfortable as I thought it would be because everything is so much more expensive nowadays. This does disappoint me, yes. There is nothing sadistic and cruel about expressing such disappointment.

Because you are lucky enough to have low outgoings, you think everyone else has the same or can easily move somewhere that allows this. You are talking absolute bollocks and it’s particularly frustrating as your level of income means that you are not a net contributor.

Same here and I manage fine on that as we had even less when I was a kid.

That's sort of the point though isn't it? You had a less as a child so have a different perspective from OP who had more, has a good salary, and is naturally comparing why she isn't able to provide a better lifestyle like she had as a child.

And come on @Lallydallydune tell is how
much your mortgage/rent and childcare is and explain how you have such a comfortable lifestyle on £30k!

So your friend earns £9.6k per year, which at £11.44 NMW means she's working 840 hours.

That's less than half the 1840 hours a full-time worker does per year.

With benefits added, your friend gets £23.8k per year net, which is £23.84 net for each hour she works.

Whereas the £75k full time earner has £54k net per year, which is £29.35 for each hour she works. BUT she almost certainly has to repay student loans (which your friend doesn't have to, even if she has student debt) which reduces her take home pay to £27.02 per hour.

£23.84 per hour for your friend on NMW as a TA, compared to £27.02 for the 'mega bucks earner'.

That's 13% difference in hourly pay.

Oh, and the 'mega bucks' earner's children won't get full student loans, since she's expected to be able to subsidise them.

The UK is so fucked up.

@Lallydallydune can you explain to us how you’re going away so often on 30k?!

Honestly I haven’t been on holiday in years as it feels like far too much expense. I genuinely don’t know how people do it

Spreadsheet!!!

@afishcalledvanda or perhaps everyone should be on the same team and realise if someone on 75k isn’t living a comfortable life you’d expect, then there’s something seriously wrong with the uk? If we took that approach then standards would be raised for everyone, on all salaries. Can you not see that?!

Also, a household with earning £30k with children will likely be getting universal credit assistance or support with childcare. Potentially other concessions too

So, the gap isn’t as straightforward as £45k different

TBF you seem to be considering the dearest examples out there. We also go away quite a bit, have a comfortable household income and I still wouldn't think of either long haul or a cottage in the south west in school holidays. Your money would stretch further on either a budget airline package in Europe or Haven type holiday camp if you prefer to stay in the UK.

Spain and Portugal are extremely cheap. You can get a nice hotel in Spain for 50 euro a night. That's 350 euro for the whole week.

That's only about 300 pounds sterling. Flights there and back would be about another 150 pounds.

Can you not afford 450 pounds out of your whole year, for a week in Spain.

I can't understand that. I really can't.

OP if you cut your food bill to say a £100 per week- still plenty- in 3 months you will have enough for a holiday?

Are you paying for any childcare for your 11 year old child OP. I see that you said his dad pays for most things for him

I can't see if you said that anywhere. Does your child go to any after school childminder or nanny or anything?

Hols in Spain are nice and cheap.

For example here is an inn in alicante, Dpain on booking.com, that is 257 euro for an entire 7 days.

I never understand people who say I can't afford to go on holiday, the lake district is 1500 pounds for a week.

Go somewhere else! The lake district is not your only option. I never go on holiday to really expensive places.

@Lallydallydune i don’t think 450 for a week holiday abroad would be particularly relaxing… fifty euros a night can’t be in a safe area surely?!

I would say I spend around 200 a month towards child related things.

@Lallydallydune fair enough, that does seem reasonable. I guess I just wouldn’t want to go to Alicante so it wouldn’t be considered a holiday to me. I accept that is is still a holiday on offer though that is affordable, I’ve never looked at these places. Thanks for sharing.