To not understand adult food vs kids food?

[SofandaCox]

I meet up occasionally with my old baby group. Our babies are 3 now. We met up yesterday for lunch and there’s a few in the group that are firmly in the adult foods are separate to kids food camp and I find it so bizarre. They make really weird comments like “why would you give that to a child” “my child would never eat that” “I wouldn’t waste that on a child” etc. my child has a long list of allergies and I’ve had gastric surgery so can’t much so we usually share a meal. The offending meal? Calamari. Basically chicken nuggets but wish squid. They acted like I had just purchased my toddler a fillet mignon with champagne and lobster tail. Which, again, don’t see the issue if that’s what he wanted! Has anyone experienced this? And also just to be so rude as to sit there and actually make comments about it. I’ve had judgey thoughts about them feeding their 3 year old jarred baby food but I’ve kept that to myself. It’s making me not want to meet up with them anymore but it would be a shame for my son as he enjoys spending time with the others toddlers.

Yes - just wanted to highlight this. My DS choked on a piece of calamari when he was about 4. He still remembers it 10 years later!

My child always ate what we ate and enjoyed it. Sat up at the table with us for every meal even in high chair.

I hope your octopus was humanely slaughtered.

Don’t know where you get that idea from !

my children and now grandchildren eat whatever we eat, last night was salmon with new potatoes and steamed veg ( children are 7 / 6 / 4 / 1 )

it never occurred to me to offer children different even spicy food was given ( though a little less spice )

Of course you understand it. You're just showing off that your child will eat calamari and more adult foods

Was the faux naivety needed?

Ignore them someone who feeds a pre school age child jarred baby food is not worth worrying about. The kids menu in this country is appalling. It encourages poor eating habits. We rarely eat out because of it. My middle child loves a chicken roast dinner and my youngest loves steak pie and mash. Neither are options on the kids menu.

Might be a strange question but how do kids even KNOW about " beige" food if they've never been given it?

If you do believe in kid vs adult food, when do you wean them off chicken nuggets and onto calamari? Four, seven, 12? When is old enough to eat (gasp) spices?

I used to work with someone who was a keen cook but she gave her children fish fingers and chips type meals every day and then after the kids were in bed she cooked her and her DH delicious meals. I found that particularly weird, since she was very interested in and knowledgeable about food but was of the opinion that her skills were wasted on children. I presume at some point she transitioned the children to eating with their parents but I moved jobs so don't know how/when.
I'm not saying my children have never had fish fingers and chips, but if that's what they were eating it's what we were all eating. It's a quick and easy meal that's useful sometimes when you're short of time and as long as it's not all you eat I don't see any harm in freezer food once in a while. But I don't understand the tendency to treat children as incapable of enjoying a wide variety of food. When my children were young I remember several occasions when they had friends round who simply didn't recognise the food I put on the table - and it wouldn't have been anything exotic, I am not a particularly adventurous cook. Nor were they from families who couldn't afford good food which is of course a whole different issue. Given how much variety of food we have access to these days, even compared to my own childhood, I find it rather sad how many children seem to have restricted diets.

Restaurant kids meals are just pants aren't they? If your lucky you find somewhere They're just a smaller versions of adult meals.
Personally, I don't feel like spending adult meal prices for my 16-month-old, although she would eat most stuff. And DH and I are too greedy to just give her some of ours. So normally will swap a few bits over, she'll get a bit of ours and we'll have some extra chips.
At home she'll eat most of the same stuff as us. More adventurous meal for me and DH after she's gone to bed. Dh is a proper foodie so it could be really out there.

I kind of get it.

Before being a parent I was very much of the "children should eat small portions of adult food!" camp.

But actually DD doesn't enjoy complex mixed flavours yet. She likes simple foods, simple flavours. I am more than happy to be given a kids menu with plain butter pasta on as I know she'll eat it.

If I saw you give your child calamari I'd probably be impressed and slightly envious.

Slightly off topic but as an aside, funnily enough my autistic DS is the most adventurous eater of the family because he doesn’t get influenced by social constructs, so is happy to try offal, blood sausage, snails, insects etc. For him it is just food, eating heart would be the same as eating a chicken nugget.
He hates yoghurt and mousse with a passion though (texture).

It’s making me not want to meet up with them anymore but it would be a shame for my son as he enjoys spending time with the others toddlers.

This did make me laugh.

Having them comment on what your child sometimes eats when they're present, is enough to make you not want to meet up with them anymore?

Either you don't really like these people, or you have a very low tolerance of everyone and everything around you.

"Yeah, well that's what he fancies eating Brenda".

The end.

Kids menus wherever we have been have been reflective of the adults menu- ie wagamamas is smaller portions of noodles mainly, Spoons has a variety of meals just like the adult menu, pizza places have smaller pasta and pizzas etc; the only place I've seen solely nugget type meals is places where the adult meals are deep fried probably from frozen food?

But in this case the other parents started the judginess by judging OP first?
I dont comment on other peoples food but I have had people asking " You feed yr toddler okra? And gourds?".
I am not trying to be pretentious. These are common foods for Asian children.

A lot of small children will only eat a limited range of foods, often bland, familiar to them and presented in ways that appeal. This is what is typically meant by 'kids food'. If your child has a wider range, then you are fortunate as it makes life much easier for you. Unfortunately contrary to what parents of adventurous eaters like to think, your child's choices will be far more down to their preferences than your efforts in introducing a range of food. Many parents would greatly prefer one meal for all, and try hard to extent their range, but their DC refuse. Your friends may well be envious of how easy you have it in that regard.

It pretty much is!

What is there to show off about? It’s a piece of protein deep fried in breadcrumbs like a chicken nugget or a fish finger. I literally don’t see why it’s any different.

the tempura prawns, omg memories. My daughter loves all shrimp. She would buy the cooked shrimp rings with sauce and also from costco the tempura ones. My grandson hated shrimp, but those "tempura chicken tails" he loved. I have a video of him eating some and my daughter offering him a shrimp from her shrimp cocktail, him saying ewwwww no I don't like shrimp (with a tempura that he was happily munching on) and his sister (one year older saying "are you suuuuurrreee) one of my fav memories from when they were little. My grandaughter knew "chicken tails" were shrimp and she was told to not tell him lol.

School usually. School dinners are appalling, even where they claim to make everything fresh and on site it's awful.

We add a side or two when we eat out, and divvy up bits from each of us for our one year old.

So sometimes he has a bit of curry and a bit of roast on his plate, then some fruit and return to gravy etc.

Yeah that is weird. My son (3 years old) eats what we have, there are a few exceptions because he genuinely doesn't like them like curry , fajitas. I don't even buy kiddie yoghurts though, he just has Greek yoghurt or whatever adults I buy in that week.

My kids always eat what we eat. Even as babies I would puree up our food for them. They are varying degrees of fussy. My daughter is the worst but she will still eat just complain about picking put mushrooms. My boys eat everything and love spicy food and love cooking.

but yes I recall playgroup mums always being surprised at my kids. Like they would eat multigrain bread. Still do. Cause that’s all I buy.

Agreed. My dd has ARFID tendencies. She did from before she was a 1 year old.

Another "i don't understand" thread where the OP clearly DOES understand, just disapproves.

This!
I always wonder why parents would give junk food / sweet drinks / ketchup / ultra processed food / candy etc etc to toddler who would be perfectly happy with a piece of fruit or veg and water because that’s all they know.