To not understand adult food vs kids food?

[SofandaCox]

I meet up occasionally with my old baby group. Our babies are 3 now. We met up yesterday for lunch and there’s a few in the group that are firmly in the adult foods are separate to kids food camp and I find it so bizarre. They make really weird comments like “why would you give that to a child” “my child would never eat that” “I wouldn’t waste that on a child” etc. my child has a long list of allergies and I’ve had gastric surgery so can’t much so we usually share a meal. The offending meal? Calamari. Basically chicken nuggets but wish squid. They acted like I had just purchased my toddler a fillet mignon with champagne and lobster tail. Which, again, don’t see the issue if that’s what he wanted! Has anyone experienced this? And also just to be so rude as to sit there and actually make comments about it. I’ve had judgey thoughts about them feeding their 3 year old jarred baby food but I’ve kept that to myself. It’s making me not want to meet up with them anymore but it would be a shame for my son as he enjoys spending time with the others toddlers.

We always had the same problem with menus eating out. It does seem that kids menus are tailored solely for those that feed their kids exclusively on pizza, fish fingers and nuggets.
Why don’t restaurants just do smaller versions of the adults food?? Like a “lighter bites” offering?

It really does seem to be a British thing, I just find it to be a cultural quirk. My son never had beige food/chicken nuggets/chips until he started school. He’s 10 now and eat much of it now. It never occurred to me to cook a separate meal for him, I was raised eating whatever my parents were eating, and my son ate whatever I ate, and I don’t do ‘beige’ food because it was simply not a thing growing up.

He’ll happily eat sauerkraut, buckwheat, fish, other fermented foods, loads of veg, cause that’s what he was raised eating. And that’s cultural too!

I don't get this either, but my parents always just gave us whatever they were having so I didn't grow up with the kid food/adult food distinction.

My brother and I were actually reminiscing the other day about how, on the rare occasions we ate out when we were kids in the 1980s, our dad always told us we didn't have to have things off the kids' menu because the kids' menu always sounded shit to him and not like a treat. So other kids would be sitting there with their plain beefburger, chips and beans and me and my brother would be tucking into a rare steak with peppercorn sauce or something.

It's a British cultural thing, but it's not universal for every family in the UK. Many British families manage not to go down this route

Only in the UK will you find the "childrens' menu" of beige breaded items with chips alongside an adult menu when eating out. It normalises the concept. But we also have a lot of chain restaurants in the UK that infantilize adult eating out, and it's quite possible that these are linked phenomenon.

There seems to be an assumption that those of us that cook/have cooked 2 meals are doing it because we've never tried giving kids the same food as adults...?

I literally followed the weaning guidelines to the letter as a FTM but my daughter hadn't read the books and wasn't have any of it.she is just really fussy

IMO a lot of it is luck rather than superior parenting

I also think the "when I was young you ate what you were given" crew are missing the huge variation in diet now that just wasn't there when I was growing up (80s). Most people ate some sort of meat and two veg meals, with the occasional pasta bake or really mild curry (bright yellow with raisins in!). Mince and onions was another one that we used to get loads and I don't think anyone eats now. A lot of it was bland, unthreatening food that today's "fussy eaters" will often eat.

I suspect that if the 70s and 80s had involved expectations that small children will get involved in sushi, Thai noodle salads, moussaka, risottos, curries, Korean hotpot at home and eat at restaurants with food from around the globe, we may have found there were more "fussy eaters" back then too. (And yes, yes I know that your little Tabitha simply loves sushi and often begs to go out for a spinach curry, she's evidently not a fussy eater and you know what? That is exclusively down to your good parenting, you superior being, you.)

Remember Indian restaurants that offered omelette and chips to the adult fussy eaters back then who couldn't bring themselves to try a curry? That's the equivalent of a children's menu - unobjectionable beige food to allow the fussy to eat alongside the grown-ups. Because at the end of the day, eating out is meant to be a pleasant experience, not a chore. If a children's menu facilitates that for some families, all power to the children's menu.

Food is food and our DDs always ate what we ate from a young age......

It pisses me off when a parent goes "oh johnny won't like that"

at one of our kid's parties, they made pizzas - they chose what they put on it, one mum was feeding her other child in our lounge - and her DS walked in all excited by what he'd made to be met with looks loverly but you won't like that... never even tried it...

Parents are the worst at putting their own offspring off food.....

Could it be that the kids menu has less salt in the food? I guess this could be one of the reasons perhaps.

I cared if it was a children's item or not - why would I pay for an adult sized portion which is too big for a young child?

It is a British thing IME to have a completely separate and usually lower quality menu for children instead of the option of half portions for children. I was even told at times "no you can't buy one adult portion and have two plates" and was pointed instead at the "chips and beans" menu for children.

This isn't about the virtue or otherwise of any particular style of eating - its the weirdness of restaurants offering a range of adult dishes and then only offering children a couple of chips and beans options.

This is turning into a bit of a smugfest. It is not a British cultural thing. It's also common in many other European countries. Just look on Google for a typical Dutch kids' menu: https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=967cb4d33a83a1c2&sxsrf=ADLYWILpjxXO6pFd2HkapwdmokS-eDkMeg:1732283591148&q=kindermenu&udm=2&fbs=AEQNm0Aa4sjWe7Rqy32pFwRj0UkWd8nbOJfsBGGB5IQQO6L3JzWreY9LW7LdGrLDAFqYDH2woUsp5q8yOe1Ezp2_yrNmbL8vaQQdNDUdhJu8jl00iZyd1tIjZH2k6Aeul7fB2C_ZQdIzWelN8xbCQF02kyuSMLzVg2JuP23Ftr8eQ-tkOjUrRHiV9XVPebcl7O1pcE9yrI85&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjLzeagi_CJAxWrRPEDHaVJGmAQtKgLegQIIhAB&biw=1901&bih=935&dpr=1

My kids love having the occasional pizza slice/chicken nuggets/chips in a restaurant because they wouldn't usually have that at home. Less food waste, happy kids, and if they want something of the adult menu, that's cool, too.

Quite! Faux naïveté combined with with smugness and judgy mcjudge pants

I recall being with our, then, two year old granddaughter, she was having some pasta, we were sharing a seafood grazing platter and she was devouring the whitebait like there was no tomorrow!

A friend who has more money than me, feeds her toddler top quality steak when they are having some. He loves the steak.
I saw someone on MN once ridiculing the idea that kids would eat curry. It is true they might not if they have never eaten it. But lots of young children eat curry every day.

I don't agree, but in the 1970s and 80s, when I grew up, we had a much more varied diet than most today. We used to live between Ireland, the UK, and Saudi Arabia, with many different food opportunities.

But even in the UK, there were lots of options even then...

Too many just make excuses for shit parenting,

But I've also lost count of the amount of Cubs/ Scouts I've had on camp who according to their parents won't eat x or y - but happily consume it on camp - in one extreme case we had a child who only ate tomato sauce sandwiches for every meal - was sent with own bread and sauce - but all weekend he just ate everything. and afterwards we handed back the bread and sauce..

the usual processed shite on a kid's menu I doubt it.

I'm in my 40s. When I was a kid, I used to hate being given the children's menu when out for a meal, I'd ignore it and order off the adult menu. I thought the kid's menu options were boring. Mind you, when I was a toddler one of my fave meals was apparently Chinese curry from the takeaway!

It's really normal for little kids to like simple flavours, or to like their food separated out rather than mixed (my 4yo loves bolognese but has one bowl with the pasta and another with the sauce and mixes herself or eats them separately).

I think it's mostly important not to make an issue out of food, so ours often get a simpler take on what we're eating.

I don't mind simple kids menus. They're not healthy but eating out is a treat and you can always order an extra portion of veg. I eat most things, but if a menu has scallops for starter and duck for the main then that's what I'll be having and I don't think that's morally superior to my 4yo always wanting sausages dipped in ketchup.

Agree with all this, great post.

3 years old on baby food ?! That's ridiculous.

Children have different taste buds to adults. Very young children have around 30,000 tastebuds spread around their mouths, by the time we reach middle age only about a third of those remain and they're on our tongues rather than being spread all over. This is why tastes change over time, and also why many young children don't tolerate certain foods - especially those which are bitter, spice or astringent. It's also why very young children can be fussy about texture.

All kids are different though, I don't think you can have black and white rules. Some kids will eat what adults do, some will not.

Interesting research here if of interest: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4654709/

Lol. So do most 10 month olds. It's when they get to 2/3/4 and realise they have the power of choice that you're fucked.

My 10mo was an amazing eater. At 4... well, see post about having bolognese in two bowls.

As for it being a ‘British’ thing, an Italian told me that so many Italian kids virtually live on pasta and tomato sauce until they’re about 15.

Oh, and the kids of DD’s Italian friends (in Italy) habitually had Oreos for breakfast.

IMO there’s too much automatic slagging off of anything perceived as ‘British’ on MN.

All of those are perfectly normal foods. Kids in Greece will eat Moussaka, kids in Thailand will eat Thai noodle salads, kids in Italy will eat risotto… but British kids can’t, they can only eat chips and beans! Oh, and fish fingers. 🤣🤣🤣

I don't think there's many little kids eating from a variety of very different food cultures though. Nor a variety of very strong flavours.

Yes, of course, all MN children, obviously, but globally I'm guessing most eat a milder tasting version of their national cuisine.

I do think some people get very over confident in the “oh my child eats everythjng” side of things too though and can come across as very judgmental.

when DS was 2 we went on holiday to Greece and he ate everything and anything offered he particularly loved the Moussaka and the different dips IIRC. By the time he was 6 he hardly ate anything. At 9 he was fitted with a feeding tube!

you can start out with the best of intentions but it doesn’t always work that way. For what it’s worth he is 15 now and I would love to see him eating nuggets and chips.