To not understand adult food vs kids food?

[SofandaCox]

I meet up occasionally with my old baby group. Our babies are 3 now. We met up yesterday for lunch and there’s a few in the group that are firmly in the adult foods are separate to kids food camp and I find it so bizarre. They make really weird comments like “why would you give that to a child” “my child would never eat that” “I wouldn’t waste that on a child” etc. my child has a long list of allergies and I’ve had gastric surgery so can’t much so we usually share a meal. The offending meal? Calamari. Basically chicken nuggets but wish squid. They acted like I had just purchased my toddler a fillet mignon with champagne and lobster tail. Which, again, don’t see the issue if that’s what he wanted! Has anyone experienced this? And also just to be so rude as to sit there and actually make comments about it. I’ve had judgey thoughts about them feeding their 3 year old jarred baby food but I’ve kept that to myself. It’s making me not want to meet up with them anymore but it would be a shame for my son as he enjoys spending time with the others toddlers.

This is a very good point. One of DD's best friends have parents on a low income and they eat very bland food because they know that's what everyone in the family will eat. So DD's friend hasn't grown up eating a big variety of foods. She now has a girlfriend whose Dad is a chef. He's now cooking lots of different styles of food for her every time she visits them so she gets to try a bigger variety of food than her parents can afford to experiment with.

Also, I think it's easy to boast about the foods that your DC will eat to make them sound adventurous. My youngest is 12. I could say he likes hummus, pate, haggis, chorizo, black pudding, chilli, fajitas, and pesto and isn't he an adventurous eater. I could also say he's so fussy that even kids meals are a challenge for him, he doesn't like cheese (he had a milk allergy as an infant so didn't try cheese until he was 5) so won't eat typical children's menu meals like cheese sandwiches, pizza, macaroni cheese or spag bol (which in kids menus often comes with cheese on it even if you ask for it without), he is fussy about meat so won't eat chicken nuggets or ham sandwiches. He only drinks water, doesn't like fizzy drinks. Doesn't like icecream (also a milk allergy hangover). I really feel for him because eating out is really hard for him.

Well that's good that your child is more varied :-) They'll be getting a lot of vitamins and lovely food.

British Is not a race though. So maybe my post could be accused of Xenophobia but not racism. It's also an observation of mine since moving here, doesn't mean it's true.

The opposite question is also valid - why would you want to waste money on a child's meal knowing it wouldn't be eaten?

In your situation, could it be a cost thing? Meals on child menus are usually cheaper than a starter or a small version of adult meals.

Would the kids be eating baby jars at home? I can't imagine giving my three year olds at the time baby jars but I suppose it's a bit like soup.

Well you wouldn't you would buy what you know your child will eat ,werher its chicken nuggets and smiley faces
Or Steak tatare and Quinoa

the pesto thing is interesting. Pesto used to be outrageously exotic and now pesto and pasta is one of those dishes that seems to be considered a "safe" dish for children.

My grandsons favourite

You wouldn’t buy one knowing it wouldn’t be eaten though.

when we take DS out to eat we order him a plain salad or something we know he will probably eat. Ordering him chicken nuggets and chips would be as pointless as ordering him calamari!

you’re very privileged that your child eats what they consider to be adult food. The concept
comes about when you have a child who won’t eat anything proper or nice. And then, why would I order myself chicken nuggets to share with my child, when I want the lobster tails. But it would be a waste on my middle child. My eldest would have eaten it, but would have wanted his own plate! My middle child will not eat anything other than pasta or chicken nuggets. So unless I want to waste money, I buy her those things and myself something nice or I take food for her. I was once you, my eldest ate anything and everything and lots of it. And I also then didn’t understand adult food and kids food. My middle child has taught me a lot about not judging other parents to be honest 👌🏼 who knows which way my youngest will go!

My DS11 can easily eat an adult sized meal no issue and 100% needs it. Whereas me I'm lucky if I can finish 4 nuggets and a few chips so I often order a kids portion for me and an adult one for him. The looks I get are pathetic. I also get some.restaurants saying they can't serve a child meal to an adult. Yet when I point out they're getting the adult meal paid for anyway it's just the wrong way round they get all upset about it.

Don’t you?! I’m a grown adult who loves sea food and I don’t eat calamari because it has a weird texture. It is absolutely nothing like a chicken nugget or a fish finger and you full well know that. My daughter would literally vomit if I gave her calamari, and of all the ‘adult’ foods out there I wouldn’t blame her 😂😂😂

Fed my son , normal food every day he has never eaten kids food , when in Sicily on holiday he asked for his beef blue at four ,the resteraunt staff didn’t believe he was British!!!
normally the British kids only eat chips, et cetera, according to the staff,
as an adult now he doesn’t really like sweet things unless it’s fruit et cetera he wouldn’t dream of eating a bar of cheap chocolate and cooks like a wizard.

only sad thing is neither of us can afford steak anymore or foreign holidays but I’m really proud of him. He gets food loves food and respect food.

My son has loved horseradish since he was about 2, he will eat it on its own, let alone mixed in with foods. He also insists on adding hot sauce to everything (I had to say no to him adding hot sauce to a roast dinner the other day, that's just wrong)

They would have been thoroughly freaked out by my two then. Both of them were obsessed with mussels at that age. Like we’d go to restaurants specifically because they served a massive portion of mussels steamed in garlic cream sauce. They would just tear through them at 2/3. It was expensive but kept them happy while we had a lovely meal. Even now they are primary school age and there are actual fights about who gets to eat the pot of pickled anchovies. 😂

I think it comes from a place insecurity and anxiety about what their children eat, maybe peppered with some weird food issues of their own.

I think kids menus are horrible. No nutritional value in it at all. My 4 yo eats what we eat. We usually share our meal with her if possible. Because of that she is (as it seems) the rare exception that loves soup, fish, seafood... Her favourite is octopus! She can be fussy about some stuff but she has very good food habits. Give your child whatever you think it's best.

How very presumptuous of them to make these comments. Extremely bad manners. Absolutely none of their business and says rather more about their choices than yours.
Ignore them.

I did the same thing at a little older, 5 I think or maybe 6. A couple of times a year my parents used to take us all out to the Lyons Corner House Brasserie at Marble Arch. Yes I am that old. We were taught to order politely from the waiter and the rule was we could have anything on the menu but had to think about how much we could eat in total, so eg coached to choose a light starter if we wanted a big main. It came to my turn to order and I requested steak and chips and the waiter asked me how I wanted it done so I said "rare please" Apparently the waiter was gobsmacked which my parents thought was hilarious.

Same here. huge fish and seafood fan but NOT calamari or octopus.

Mine have always just eaten what we eat. Of course I've given them a fishfinger sandwich or chips and egg now and again, but we don't eat like that daily so neither do they. They both love fish and seafood, spices and herbs. The only thing DS doesn't like are mushrooms, and DD can be a bit funny with asparagus. Whenever we go to restaurants we just order off the main menu and they either split it or we take some home, or we do a load or sides. Tapas and Vietnamese places are quite good for that.

I've never seen the point of cooking "kids meals". Surely people want their children to have an open mind to new flavours? Plus, cooking separate meals every dinner time? That seems like a waste of time. Salmon and veg or a prawn curry is better than chicken nuggets and chips, there's no denying that, so I don't see the push towards beige for kids.

Your approach is the right one but surely you know this..?

I was very lucky that DC will eat anything (mushrooms are their favourite!) but I did give absolutely everything pretty much when weaning. I still think it's mainly luck though and there will be many fussy phases!

The only thing I didn't give were extremely spicy/salty dishes where it'd be difficult to cool it down with yoghurt. But they had a typical protein + carb + two veg style meal instead or something I'd batch cooked in the freezer.

How do they propose their DC eventually become eaters of the foods "they'd never give them" just while young?

Never understood it either. Our 4 year old grandson loves olives, smoked salmon, sushi, Coq au vin, lemon and prawn fettuccine, Caesar salad, whatever. Because that’s what our family eats so of course he does too. His mum and her brother were the same as tots. Just never occurred to us that there was adult and child food.

By three ours was eating exactly the same as us... Maybe with less salt. I remember we'd order Chinese food with no added salt or MSG.

My youngest is 5 (and the youngest of 5). He is also the only one who will literally only eat “kiddy”food (not baby food, he never even had that as a baby!!”. I brought him up no different to the others food wise either. But he’s the fussiest little person ever. Won’t even eat chips and nuggets… has to be chips OR nuggets. He won’t even attempt anything remotely adult. Won’t touch any fruit or any veg. Yet if I put a plate of olives, feta and some nice salami/chorizo out he will demolish it! (Which kinda contradicts what I just wrote lol!!) even more so if I’m not looking!! Basically all children are different and as long as they have full tummies it doesn’t matter!!

• before I’m jumped on…. I try him constantly but never make a big deal of it or make threats about pudding bla bla bla. He’s growing and developing well and have multivitamin gummy things alongside his crap diet but full tummy.

Mine always had the same meals as the adults from being weaned, just smaller portions.
When being weaned they had the same food as us, just blended up.
That included mild curries etc.
Chips and fish fingers etc weren't on the menu.

Like the lasagne and chips I've seen mentioned here so frequently?