To not understand adult food vs kids food?

[SofandaCox]

I meet up occasionally with my old baby group. Our babies are 3 now. We met up yesterday for lunch and there’s a few in the group that are firmly in the adult foods are separate to kids food camp and I find it so bizarre. They make really weird comments like “why would you give that to a child” “my child would never eat that” “I wouldn’t waste that on a child” etc. my child has a long list of allergies and I’ve had gastric surgery so can’t much so we usually share a meal. The offending meal? Calamari. Basically chicken nuggets but wish squid. They acted like I had just purchased my toddler a fillet mignon with champagne and lobster tail. Which, again, don’t see the issue if that’s what he wanted! Has anyone experienced this? And also just to be so rude as to sit there and actually make comments about it. I’ve had judgey thoughts about them feeding their 3 year old jarred baby food but I’ve kept that to myself. It’s making me not want to meet up with them anymore but it would be a shame for my son as he enjoys spending time with the others toddlers.

@KirstenBlest I think we are talking about more than food pouches and jars

I do find it a bit pretentious to feed your kids posh nosh be honest. Then again Im a "dish them up turkey twizzlers chips and beans" kind of mum

I was raised to eat the same food my parents ate, no 'kid's food' or separate dinners, and as my mum had coeliac disease beige freezer foods were a very rare treat. I was still quite fussy as a child, carefully scraping all the sauce off my food and swallowing it down with water but we had to eat everything so everything (more or less) got eaten.

My children have always had the same food as us too, but there were a few years when everything had to be served with ketchup to my youngest, even pudding(!) And a period where he pretty much only ate beetroot - I'd serve everything but include beetroot and mostly only the beetroot got eaten he eats better now he's 6, and rarely asks for ketchup any more. And oldest had to have everything on separate plates for several years. But I always kept on serving the same foods.
We eat beige foods sometimes, but we all eat them, not just the kids. Funnily enough they both dislike the common kid food of fishfinger.

I'm interested to know the meaning of pretentious and posh here.

Do you mean pretentious as in doing something people of a certain station in life shouldn't do?

What makes a food posh posh?

Ds 10 loves calamari,mussels,prawns in fact all seafood.We got him to try them very young. ....and he happened to like them.....

Do you think everyone with fussy eaters has never thought of (and tried) offering them other food..?

I do find it a bit pretentious to feed your kids posh nosh be honest.

Why, mine love gourmet restaurants just as much as we do. Why shouldn't I take them?

So if you are already eating at a Green King pub you should only feed your kid nuggets, rather than let them have a curry?

Or you do decide to go somewhere relatively nice, cos you wouldn't be there if you couldn't afford it, you should be a stingy bastards and give them sausages and mash rather than the salmon dish they really wanted?

Or if you have kids round for a sleepover, you should 100% order Domino's in, rather than make homemade lasagne or even homemade pizza (even though that's cheaper by miles).

Extremely weird reaction to what is, essentially, fish fingers

Good on you. So did I. DS is still tube fed because of the extent of his food aversion.

Well I'd definitely find the champagne an issue

Joking aside, I completely agree. People are shocked when they see my child eating smoked salmon cream cheese bagel for breakfast, someone once said "just buy him some pancakes" he doesn't like pancakes! 🙃

he could have happily tried it and then not like it but considering he was put off before he even got chance was my point.

and they could literally have put anything or nothing on it. It was just fun. For reference every other child at least tried their pizza.

in my experience parents are mostly the problem.

My 2 year old will eat anything spicy food, sushi, paella, olives, any vegetable you care to name. I would be so smug and probably writing a book about how to have a child with a fabulous varied diet if it wasn't for his 3 year old sister who exists on sausage and mash, fish fingers and chips, garlic bread, yoghurt, and the culinary delight that is pasta and grated cheese. If I can get a forkful of peas into her it's a good day.

What is posh nosh? Anything not breaded and fried?

On MN anything done in the UK is inferior to the rest of the world, usually said by those who have never lived abroad. In the US there is usually a children's menu, our grandson once ordered mac'n'cheese and the waiter told him 'and that comes with a side of fries'.

I think my point is being misunderstood, which is probably my fault, English is not my first language. We eat “unhealthy food” that’s not what I’m trying to get at and class isn’t an issue as the construct doesn’t exist in my country. The point in making is these women would rather go next door to Boots to buy jarred baby food than order off the “adult menu” for their toddlers. That’s what I don’t understand. They will it feed their children what they feel to be “adult” food. The place we when to for lunch doesn’t have a children’s menu. My son will happily eat fish fingers and chips which is essentially what I ordered him. He had a different palate perhaps because we ate from a different culture which heavily features fish but I don’t see this as superior. It’s just food. I don’t understand the mentality that some food is for children and some food is for adults. I am an adult that eats “children food” and my children eat “adult food”. I don’t understand the divide is what I’m saying.

Because, despite their patents best efforts, not all kids like "adult food".

Some children like more simple flavours or might get overwhelmed by new dishes, so having something safe can be a huge relief for them.

Some children don't have the same reaction, so wonderful that they don't need kids menu. You can always ask for a half portion or share at your table/take leftovers.

It does seem to be a British thing. This division of food.

I raised mine to eat good food from the start. We just asked for a smaller plate or a main as a starter size. Rarely had issue.

We all ate good food together and never from a kids menu.

I remember once an uncle being helpful ordered my children and his children, food in a pub.

When it arrived it was chicken nuggets. My son declared it wasn't proper chicken as it didn't have any bones in it. He refused to eat it.

That chain restaurant “Billy’s” if it still exists. Did a Mac & Cheese on kids menu, which was same as adults just smaller. It had so much horseradish in the cheese that it was nose-burn hot. No way any child would like it, mine didn’t. I tried and it was awful for a kid - prob child abuse.

Billy’s staff was unapologetic …made a big deal like I was fussy.

The Billy’s in my town shut, and I like to think the Mac & Cheese child abuse menu was the reason.

What did she get for her child at the restaurant?

Did you not read what you quoted??

Well that feels pretty racist to me. I'm British and my children eat fresh, home cooked meals most of the week. At restaurants they are offered the entire menu to choose from and will order things like smoked mackerel, curry, prawns and any meat from the grill. My youngest has eaten olives, cockles, gerkins, spicy salsa and similar from a young age. My eldest absolutely loves parsnips and brussel sprouts!!

I think it depends on the adult as well and what they eat/how they were fed as a child

My old colleague was having lunch with me one day, we got talking and she was a bit embarrassed but I got her point
Loads of food she hadn't ever tried and she said "but I don't want to buy it because what if it's horrible and I've wasted my money? I can't afford it"
So she was feeding her son fine, but with the stuff she had been brought up with

Stuff that was normal to me like hummus, blueberries, feta cheese she hadn't ever tried (I grew up in pubs and was fed/allowed to try whatever I wanted)

Every day for work lunch I ended up bringing in something different and she would try it. I said if you don't like it, you're an adult, spit it out! Then she felt confident she liked something, she could buy it and if her son didn't like it she could eat it and it wouldn't get wasted

Maybe they didn’t want to waste money on an adult meal knowing most wouldn’t be eaten!

Most towns have independents as well, but very few towns are too twee for a Wetherspoons, Lounge, Toby, Hungry Horse, Cote, F&B, etc..

The restaurants subsidise the child portions to attract the adults.

The food cost is negligible. The opportunity cost of having a child occupying a cover and sharing a plate with an adult can be significant. The 'incremental cost' isn't relevant.