12 years of the same 'joke' and I have the rage! AIBU

[Hotflushesandchilblains]

I have worked in the same place for 12 years, with mostly women and a few men. One of those, A, is giving me the rage big time and I cant figure out why I am so annoyed by this stupid so-called 'joke'. Most people live in the county we cover, but I live in the next one over. Since I have met him, A regularly makes the same joke about me not having electricity, running water, etc etc - you get the picture, that we are backward where I live. Just recently its making me want to punch him. I have told him its not amusing any more (not that it ever was). He is a bit of a 'character' anyway - very attention seeking and the kind who wants to be cracking jokes all the time. I think I am generally annoyed with him lately because there is a big project going on at work which I have done much of the set up for, and which he is trying to muscle in on. But I seem to be able to keep my feelings under wraps until he trots out this stupid joke. Is it as obnoxious as it feels?

This is the problem and one way bullying is validated in the UK. If you object you are miserable and have no sense of humour, if you don't call it out you are accepting and thus validating it. A toxic mentality.

I don't get all this oop north darn saarf nonsense (I was born and brought up in northern England and have lived in the SE for 22 years), blonde jokes or any number of irrational stereotypes intended to devalue people. I would say if the digs are so persistent that it is having a negative impact on you then report him to a suitable higher authority at your workplace. Even Jeremy Beadle once said jokes are only funny if the recipient laughs, if they are offended then you apologise.

Another alternative if he is old is take a line from Dads Army and call him a silly old fool, see if he can take what he dishes out.

I'm also going through this at the moment.
I'm a self employed contractor within a very prestigious charity.

I feel like I'm being bullied within the workplace.
I'm not sure where I stand due to being a contractor, although I have been there for 15 years.

Over the last 8 weeks I've been referred to as shit, and I'm approached every day as soon as I enter the premises regarding one thing or another.

I've actually gone home crying every night the last few weeks.

This person has messed up a couple of times regarding how he speaks to me and I've put him in his place.

I've been keeping a diary the last 4 weeks.
I'm at my wit's end but really need to keep this work.

This, I think, is spot on

He can't still think the joke itself is funny so what must now be amusing him is winding you up. Which is bullying.

If he isn't the type who normally enjoys being mean, it might just be worth telling him you're bored now and you want this to stop. But if you've noticed that he does tend to indulge in this kind of "banter" with other people too, don't waste your breath. Go to HR, if you have one.

I've had that since 1985.
Shake hands with someone and they'd say, oh I'm lucky, my watch is still there!
Or , will my car still have it's wheels when you leave.
Did you need a passport to come through Watford jct?

I learnt to fight back with.....
Mate I wouldn't embaress myself by nicking that.
Or, I don't use bricks, I'm an intelligent scouser. I'd use books.
Do you know what they are?

Unfortunately racism/prejudice, has been around much longer than we think, and it goes much deeper than colour/religion.

Is it Norfolk / Suffolk? Am guessing you live somewhere lovely like Hadleigh and annoying twat is in Diss or similar.
Norfolk born girl here but I have heard shit 'banter' like this directed at Suffolk people.

OP said County not country

Why are people still banging on about @BobbyBiscuits saying 'country' instead of 'county.' It was clearly just a typo. People have been poking at her and ranting on about it for about 24 hours now. WTF is wrong with people? Can they not be arsed to read through the thread and see that MULTIPLE people have mentioned it?!!

People going on and on about it, like they're the first person to mention it, (when it's been mentioned at least half a dozen times since last night) is tedious and boring. 🙄

Let it go FFS!

Ah the by word for being a prick.

Eh?

You have a very odd idea of race…please don’t confuse race as a social construct with the process of RACIALISATION

This!! 👆🏻

My main take away from this is that folk really don’t understand what racism is.

Suffolk dweller here. NFN. 😊

Yep BANTER. The word used by the 'I was only joking, you're so sensitive, you have no sense of humour' brigade! C*nts, all of them!

That. That is your response every time he says it, as though you are proudly explaining to the room why his joke is so funny!

ADHD?

Cornish are an indigenous ethnic group with their own language and protections for this. Let me know if you need any of that capitalised.

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/cornish-granted-minority-status-within-the-uk#:~:text=The%20government's%20approach%20to%20the,raised%20locally%20by%20the%20partnership.

As you say, ‘ethnic group’- not ‘race’
and…sadly, only 3% of people in Cornwall speak Cornish. “The 2021 census listed the number of Cornish speakers at 563;”
other sources estimate closer to 300.

I dated a guy like this a few years ago, made comments about how where he lived “Sussex” was so much better than where I was from, bordering county. Bit odd as my county is famously more cultured and better. He was a huge narc.

It’s a professional context so I quoted race in relation to the 2010 Equality Act, which notes race includes colour, national and ethnic origin.

The article I linked to noted Cornish is a minority language, so your information comes as no surprise…? Minority means most people don’t speak it.

Personally I would just play him at his own game because if he sees it's not bothering you there will be no point carrying on. If he says about running water say something like "yeah, it's great when it rains, we each have our own puddles. Electricity - you all have cowpat powered generators etc. etc.

Fake a yawn, roll your eyes, say "bored now" and walk away.

Smile sweetly, tell him you love him and his funny little ways/jokes - anything really that tells him you really don't give a f**k

With regards to his claiming your work success as his, try and make sure you have a record/paper trail of what you have done and if in a meeting etc say "do you want to answer this query Jeff" and let everyone see him for what he is when he can't.

Tell him he looks tired, but not as tired as his jokes.

As someone who has experienced racism since I was a child, what you just said is really offensive. A British person making fun of another British person's town is annoying, but not racist! Goes for every country if the two people are the same race/nationality. If it's a white person being nasty to another white person from another country then it's xenophobia, not racism. In OP's case, this is an annoying man who thinks he's funny.

Colin Hunt. The character from Fast Show

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Tell him he's a c-hunt