12 years of the same 'joke' and I have the rage! AIBU

[Hotflushesandchilblains]

I have worked in the same place for 12 years, with mostly women and a few men. One of those, A, is giving me the rage big time and I cant figure out why I am so annoyed by this stupid so-called 'joke'. Most people live in the county we cover, but I live in the next one over. Since I have met him, A regularly makes the same joke about me not having electricity, running water, etc etc - you get the picture, that we are backward where I live. Just recently its making me want to punch him. I have told him its not amusing any more (not that it ever was). He is a bit of a 'character' anyway - very attention seeking and the kind who wants to be cracking jokes all the time. I think I am generally annoyed with him lately because there is a big project going on at work which I have done much of the set up for, and which he is trying to muscle in on. But I seem to be able to keep my feelings under wraps until he trots out this stupid joke. Is it as obnoxious as it feels?

Is this Gloucestershire (posh in parts) vs Forest of Dean ? as that’s a common one around here. DH is a forester and doesn’t care , but some do. I’m from Norfolk and it’s common to tease us about that…I also don’t care, but I can see the same joke from an oik like OP describes sounds very annoying and on the wrong day could send one over the edge. Tends to be aimed at rural communities (Norfolk, Forest, Cornwall) so it’s not racism as such but it is close. Sounds like he wants OP’s attention. I’m imagining a similar sketch would fit into The Office.

Just tell him in front of people it was boring 12 years ago, not it’s excessive and bordering on abuse. And if that’s how he gets out of doing work by undermining people then you’ve no option than to escalate the matter. To be fair it should have been stopped in the first year

Lol me too, I’m a Norfolk dumpling (types with single webbed finger)

I think the joke would be inoffensive as a one-off, but he's been doing it for 12 years? That's incredibly fucking tedious and he needs to shut it. What an absolute bore of a man.

I worked with a bloke who had two separate accidents in the space of year (unconnected, just unfortunate) so came into the office with a cast on his arm for a few weeks and then not that long afterwards, was on crutches for a while. One of the security team on the reception desk noticed this and then, every single time he saw him, for the entire eight years that I was working with them, said 'Oh, here comes Mr Bump! No bandages today?' My colleague wasn't offended by the joke itself, but he also found himself utterly dreading having to walk past and hear the same shitty unfunny 'banter' every single day for fucking years. It's just exhausting eventually.

From now on say "Oh no Here is one joke Colin!"

I used to know someone (she thought we were friends) who did this and it drove me fucking mad and basically ruined our relationship. She used to call me a snob, stuckup, southern pansy, on and on and on. So bloody boring and annoying. She'd send me that song that had the line 'say I work in media but I'm really on the dole'.

It's boring and lazy and most of the time they can't hack it when you dish it back even a 10th of the level they give it out.

I'd email: "Dear A, the "joke" where you imply I have no access to running water, and must be uneducated and uncultured simply for living in x county, wasn't funny the first time you did it and still isn't funny 12 years later. I'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from continuing to use the same old mildly offensive tropes and instead find some new material. Best wishes, colleague."

Id say (with a smile) where is it your from? When he tells you, say, oh that surprises me, id have thought coming from ......youd have been educated. If he asks what you mean say, well, you know, as to how other people live . Like .... where im from, and you thinking (then repeat what hes saying).
Some people cant help themselves, like running the area down where someone else lives, "oh dont leave your car theyll steal the wheels off it, or they dont have running water there, or if they do they don't wash with it"

After 12years of this shit I would be feeling harassed.
As others say..tell him again..tell him in writing..go to HR

I sympathise - I live in Essex. I would sigh loudly and say “oh dear, not that old chestnut again. I wonder about you…” He’s an arsehole.

My therapist taught me this line to trot out…
Is it my turn now?
It really disarms people.

I'd tell him to (Nor)fuck off.

This

Is it of the 'Normal for Norfolk' variety? No need to reply to that but that phrase has been banned in many workplaces for years and years and years

By defining stupid comments like this as 'racist' you really undermine the real meaning of that term. It might be irritating but everyone around the OP will know it's daft and must be also getting bored by it. I would wait until he does it in front of others, roll my eyes and say 'is everyone as sick of this silly stuff as I am?' And leave it at that. He wants to get a reaction from you, so just look bored and carry on with whatever you're doing.

I think you need to tell us the counties so we can think of some appropriate comebacks.

I'm wracking my brain to think what county is next to another where one is well-to-do and the other has nothing. I think, however, that even though he's being ignorant, you are taking it as an insult. Let it go is my advice.

I'd say something like " Wow, that's really rude and inappropriate. Did you know that?"
Push it back on him to acknowledge it.

Some counties are arguably races… If you live in Cornwall HR might have a very difficult chat with him

I was going to suggest something witty but probably best to keep it as “why don’t you just fuck off, Colin?”

He definitely needs to get out more. Has he never travelled?

County not country. If someone said mocking the next county was racist I’d laugh in their face.

It’s bullying as far as I’m concerned OP.

I’d buy him a joke book for Christmas. Tell him he needs new material.

People in Warwickshire //Wrocestershire V the west mids?? Parts of Worcestershire running Dudley.... much to their annoyance.

Stonewall him every time he does it. Look through him.

Yup. I live on the Isle of Wight, apparently we live in the middle ages. 🙄

We have some friends who do this. They live down south, we are in the midlands. We live in a "posh" area of an area that isn't typically posh. House prices are high due to schools. Our house cost double what theirs down south did. Always get comments like "oh wow you get so much for your money up here it's so cheap" "haha do you have power up there"

FFS.

I now come back with things like "yeah they just give them away up here" "yeah only worth £800k now" DOES MY HEAD IN!