What is the worst Christmas present you have received?

[KookyGreenHelper]

I will start. Every year a certain family member gets me bath bombs. I cannot use them as i am alergic to them. I have suggested things i would prefer every year like chocolates or a good bottle of wine. This family member always fails to listen. I am fed up of pretending to be greatful.

I dread to think there are multiple versions of him marauding the earth...

A battery tester. Yes. You heard that right. 😳

i once received an electric guitar with broken strings

My lovely, late Nan, who was adorable but mad as a box of frogs, used to buy DH a can of shaving foam for Christmas every year.

DH has sported a beard ever since I first met him

A metal sweet dish in the shape of a clover leaf that came from Poundstretcher and would have cost about 50p (this was decades ago). I was about 14 at the time and the edges were so sharp I snagged my finger on it.

Handknits from various relatives, to patterns they'd had since the 1940s.

An ex bought me a book that was one of a series of romcom type stories (and not the first one). It was not an author I'd every expressed any interest in reading and I have no interest in romcoms. I later found out that he had bought the full series as a boxed set very cheaply and given one to each of the females he bought presents for. This was my only Xmas gift from him and he was pretty well off so not a case of all he could afford.

Some of my oddest presents have come from MIL. She likes to give each family member the same number of gifts to open so to 'even things up' she has a habit of wrapping odd things. A few favourites have been a pair of size XS supermarket american tan tights (I am very obviously a L-XL and never wear tan tights), drain cleaner, opened packet of biscuits and a set of mugs that she'd told me a few weeks before Xmas she was sending to the charity shop because they didn't go with her new decor. She had actually asked me at the time if I wanted the mugs and I declined!

@BunburyInATizz You win this thread!

Hub caps. I have zero interest in cars.

Just to drop myself in the shit, I bought DH a claw hammer for our first wedding anniversary 😬
In my defence, we were very poor at the time and he was hankering after it.

It was still going strong when he died 40 years later🤣

Oh thought of another (more light-hearted this time).

A brown umbrella.

For 8 years in a row between the ages of 4 and 12. From my aunt. It was the exact same adult sized brown umbrella every year. No idea why. My brothers and sisters got them too in various shades. My mum always donated them (when we'd finished sitting in them and pretending they were sail boats).

I have someone like this in my life. Tight as hell and completely oblivious to my tight-lipped 'Oh, thank you' as I open some pre-loved monstrosity saved from a skip. I've insisted we stop giving each other gifts. She was very reluctant.

These people aren't our friends.

A cousin sent me an extra long petticoat from M&S, would be fine but 1) I don't wear dresses or skirts and 2) I'm a short arse, no one in the history of the world has ever thought I'd need any extra long clothing. I returned it and the poor women in M&S couldn't find it on stock control because it was 2 years old and reduced in the sale to a £1

Sorry, should have said on mine that it was my 50th a few months later and that's why she bought me the little presents.

Glittery nail polish. I’m in my 40s!

i never paint my nails, and would never use glittery polish, so that went straight in the bin.

I bet she was reluctant!

Just remembered that my friend bought her son's girlfriend a fish slice the first Christmas she spent with the family. It was also her last Christmas 😂

I thought it was funny until the next Christmas I got one off her, too. I think it was probably the one the girlfriend had left behind!

😂😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I would have been happy with any of those, particularly the air tag!

A pink jumper with a bunny on it. (I was 19, and was into mosh pits and excessive kohl eyeliner at the time 😂)

DH is well known for his utter lack of thought/organisation and often ends up in Homesense or a garden centre at 4pm on Christmas Eve. Crackers so far have included Colleen Nolan's autobiography (I can't stand the woman) and a book on sexually abused nuns. Along with a hammered metal bowl on legs that is wobbly so you can't actually put anything in it so it is purely decorative and a bevelled mirror to go above the fireplace in the living room. How personal....

I'm torn between fear and dread when I open anything from him.

My sister sent me a wooden board with a papermache photo of Jesus on it.

1 I am not very religious
2 Sis is not religious

1. She had made it herself......

It went in the bin. (Yes I threw Jesus in the bin)

Back in the 90s when it seemed the thing to wear matching bra, knickers, camisole and petticoat, my then partner went to Morris Cohen, which had a factory shop of M&S undies and bought a stack of underwear for me. Unfortunately nothing matched and were clearly seconds and unwearable. Straps had been twisted before being sewn and nothing sat right. He’d obviously left it so late that he picked up what was left.
Another year he gave me grey marl trousers and a black jumper. I remember being so disheartened with these as they were so drab on me and drained me of any colour making me look ill.
I think it was the final Christmas with him that he gave me a pair of sewing scissors. I did actually want these but I finished looking at them expecting something else to go with them even if it was a bar of choc, but no that was it, a pair of scissors. (My Mum was ‘disgusted’ as she said ‘that’s a present that cuts the relationship”. She was right, as I moved out a few months later).

My MiL is known for unusual inappropriate presents. A year ago, she gave DS16 a dagger letter opener. His face was a picture when he opened it as he saw a dagger! In a world of emails I can’t imagine him having much use for it.

I love this type of present. I fondly remember the big silver plastic swan clock. Ooh, and the metal partridge sculpture with a demented look in its eyes.

A Secret Santa one from the days when I worked in an office. I got a nodding South Park figurine for the parcel shelf of a car. I have never, ever watched South Park and didn't have a car then. I swapped it for a bottle of wine that some other thoughtless/clueless idiot had given to my colleague who was a recovering alcoholic.

My maternal aunt and her husband gave me a book on Daihatsu cars when I was about 14. When I was 20 I inherited her car which was, would you guess it, a Daihatsu. They clearly got the book from the car dealer when they got the car.

For my latest Birthday, my family asked what I would like. I have moved not too long ago so still need a few bits for my flat, so I said Ikea vouchers or maybe a contribution towards a stand mixer.
What did I get? A visit to a restaurant where I liked precisely one item on the menue and had expressed no desire to go to as well as a small box of Rituals cosmetics with the statement "I know you like this scent". Well, yes, I do, but not three years in a row.