What is the worst Christmas present you have received?

[KookyGreenHelper]

I will start. Every year a certain family member gets me bath bombs. I cannot use them as i am alergic to them. I have suggested things i would prefer every year like chocolates or a good bottle of wine. This family member always fails to listen. I am fed up of pretending to be greatful.

The oddest present I got was from DP's grandma. One of those massive mats that you can do a puzzle on and roll it up for storage. She had been to my house and saw what she thought was one there so decided to get me another.Turns out she had seen my yoga mat.

She also got me a personalised mug with a name thats similar to mine but not quite (Think Anna/Hannah). I still have that in the cupboard and it makes me smile when I see it.

A bright orange sellotape dispenser and a bright orange memo holder with the £1.50 price tag left on 😂

A very large metal armillary sundial thing for the garden with long arrow things coming off it. We have a normal garden, definitely not big enough to accommodate such a grand feature, and at the time it was used a lot for football etc. Also I'd have had to have bought a stone plinth or something to put it on, I don't think they go on the floor.

It came from a craft centre closer to me than the giver although it was still 40 minutes away. So they arranged for me to return it. It was in covid lockdown, so I had to go rattling shutters in the snow at this workshop until someone heard me.

Thanks for nothing. I would genuinely have preferred a box of Maltesers.

Brother bought me a meat cleaver. I'm a vegetarian.

A slimming world cookbook and a pilates for weight loss set...I was not doing slimming world and had expressed no interest in pilates.

Nice hint mum 👌

This is a great present! A tape dispenser at Christmas! yes please.... oh actually you would need it before Christmas....

This reminds me of a gift from a friend many years ago. She’d boasted about how she knew I’d just love it, and said it was from this fancy gift shop in our local shopping centre that everyone liked.

I opened it on Christmas Day and we dumbstruck. It was a crown shaped trinket box, clearly made from one of those plaster mould craft kits you get when you’re a kid, and painted (very badly) in gaudy pinks and purples. The idea that I would have thought it had come from this gift shop was laughable.

I just can’t fathom why she did it. As with @MoonWoman69’s clown money box, it wasn’t about the cheapness of it - it was the boasting that I’d love it, and the frankly insulting lie that she’d bought it in a high end shop when it was so obviously craft kit tat.

My FIL bought me a bottle of perfume for Christmas a couple of years ago and the smell is ungodly. It's described as having "animalic" notes (which are allegedly musky/sensual/pheromone-y) but it smells like shit. As in, faecal. It smells like cat shit.

I sprayed a bit on my wrist and almost removed my own arm trying to get away from the smell. DH thought I was being dramatic until he gave it a sniff.

Previous owner had shrunk it in the wash, trying to get the stains out, at a guess!

Oh I had one of those. It was a Love Actually moment.

my ex husband. a cast iron frying pan. yes it was awesome, 30 years later it is still in my daughters kitchen as I live out of country and that fucker was heavy,, not worth the price to ship here. However, it was because he preferred his bacon cooked in cast iron..so for him. Married to my husband now for 20 years and he was amazing at gifts, I have some lovely jewelry and some great quality pj's that are still going strong. 5 years ago we decided to stop gifts. Our gift is a nice day together with food we both love, snuggles on the sofa and early night to bed with a movie.

Send them my way lol. I love Bayliss and Harding.

I keep asking for it and people won't buy it for me because they say it's crap but it's one of the few soapy things that doesn't dry my skin out. I end up having to buy my own.

I've heard similar about husbands buying their wives ironing boards and other basic kitchen equipment. There really should be an information booklet on what gifts NOT to buy for different people,
eg never buy your wife - an iron, kettle, ironing board, saucepans
your mother lacy knickers
your diabetic sister a pound of turkish delight

Maybe I should pen something and get it out in time for next Christmas.....

I have to admit I did once ask my DP to buy me a metal garden incinerator dustbin and to give the man his due, he did check I was sure it was what I really wanted

Wetherspoons free magazine.

A long, long time ago... I'd been in a relationship about six months, the passionate sex bit was starting to wear off and I had started to think that we weren't that well-matched. We'd met on a walking holiday and were both very outdoorsy — most weekends we went surfing or walking or sailing and then to the pub. I didn't wear make-up and spent most of my time in practical outdoor gear.

We arranged to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning together before setting off to see our families He had a small pile of gifts for me. First one was a cheap fabric evening bag, all sparkly embroidery and beads and fringing. We'd never been anywhere where I would have used it: I've still never been anywhere it would have been appropriate. Then long dangly multicoloured earrings for pierced ears. I don't have pierced ears. The next gift was a weird graphic novel that I recognised as something he'd wanted for himself: I'd actually bought him a copy and it was wrapped up and waiting for him. And finally a scarlet bustier with suspenders.

I 'accidentally' left all of them behind when I left to go away for a few days to visit family. I ended the relationship a couple of days later by telling him that he needed to find the woman who'd appreciate those gifts, because it wasn't me he'd had in mind when he bought them.

😂🤣😂

Pink tipped martini glasses when I was a student
a huge basket of highly scented toiletries when I'm allergic to all of them
a manicure set (three years in a row!)

I used to wear gucci envy years ago like 20 plus years ago I'd love to get a bottle now but can't find it anywhere

My mum used to work in a touristy clothes shop aimed at older adults that had Christmas tat at the counter so they could upsell - twee mugs, ornaments, scarves, socks, that sort of thing.
Every year while working there she would buy said tat for my Christmas presents on Christmas Eve and proudly tell me when I opened it how little she'd spent (Christmas items were heavily discounted on Christmas Eve as anything unsold was returned in January.
She still did this when I worked at the shop myself... I was in my early twenties at the time, I didn't really appreciate a key ring with Scottie dogs in Christmas hats on it!

Also last year my dad (very well off) gifted me some olive oil, crackers and cheese. All from m&s so not exactly fancy. I felt like asking if he thought I hadn't done my Christmas food shop...

I no longer gift or expect presents from anyone, other than agreeing to buy items for the children in the family, all of which are from their Christmas wishlists!

My in laws bought me a teddy Blair fleece sleep suit complete with plastic feet.Some may remember these very traditional sleep suits for toddlers with the bizarre plastic feet.
All I could interpret it as was that they didn't want their cherished only son to be getting up to any funny business with me.

It was my best friend's 50th birthday and I bought her a Vivienne Westwood handbag - at her request.

She turned up at my house with a bag full of tiny gifts - there were meant to be 50 of them but she ran out of ideas, thank fuck.. Almost fifty bits of tat. The very best were a couple of miniature gin bottles that I knew she'd got on a flight. A miniature can of diet coke from the same flight. (I don't drink diet drinks - she knows this.) Everything was really awful - like face masks that would rip my skin off that had the plastic bit on the back so I knew they were free in a magazine, little bottles of conditioner that you get with hair dye, biros that didn't work, that sort of thing. It was all absolute crap and I had to open every single one (all of them were wrapped up) and smile and make an appropriate comment every single time. I was really upset after she left, because she'd asked me for the bag - it was about £130 - and I knew she wouldn't spend that much on me - I wouldn't expect that - but I thought she could have bought me one nice thing - a new book or something she knew I'd like, instead of eg a bar of dark chocolate when she knows I hate it, etc, or a bar of Turkish Delight - ditto. And of course she knows what I like - we've been friends for over 30 years. She's always been really tight and she was delighted with the gifts she gave me, probably because she hadn't actually spent any money.

It felt good getting that out - I've never told anyone about it before! I felt really ashamed of myself afterwards, thinking she thought that's all I was worth.

And yes, she earned 1.5 times my salary and had a high earning husband, when I was single at the time.

Not awful but a picnic basket with all picnic bits needed. It’s so heavy we’ve never used it in 6 years.

an electric toothbrush

a air key tag things for lost keys

A surprise voucher for loft insulation from our local firm.

Reader, I have lived in a GROUND floor flat for 20 years...🤔