What is the worst Christmas present you have received?

[KookyGreenHelper]

I will start. Every year a certain family member gets me bath bombs. I cannot use them as i am alergic to them. I have suggested things i would prefer every year like chocolates or a good bottle of wine. This family member always fails to listen. I am fed up of pretending to be greatful.

@Tracystubbs my heart breaks for your childhood self. I hope that your present life is perfect - apart from the eaten chocolates!

It is
I'm happy and have people who love me
Ds has made up for the missing chocs by giving me a gd
I'm happy thank you

That's good to hear Tracystubbs

@Hoppinggreen I like badgers in a Wind In The Willows/aren't they cute from a distance sort of way. I certainly didn't like them enough to warrant having a life-sized fucker in the corner of my living room. 😂

Hmm they are quite big aren't they!

@SuperInfinite That's tickled me... A life-sized fucker in the corner of my living room!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Not the worst present.

About 30 years ago, my late DGA gave us our Xmas presents about mid Nov as wasn't going to see her until the new year - as she lived on West Sussex coast.

About 10 days before Xmas Day, a strange smell came from the box of presents she gave us.

The smelly present was for DF and it was Stilton in a jar. 6 weeks of not being chilled. The smell was unbearable but was lovely on our cheese biscuits.

Two candles, one named semen and the other pussy juice.

Secret Santa. There was a theme, obviously. 🙄

OMG @Tracystubbs your mum did not deserve you 😢

This is so funny, it's very droll. Love it.

OT but my mum bought probably the first ever microwave oven, then booked us on a course for cooking with a microwave. It was in a local hotel, it was beyond shit. At one point the demonstrator put a newspaper in the microwave to prove things like paper wouldnt burn.
Anyway I was about 8years old and this led to yet more of my mothers terrible cooking only with the microwave instead of oven and hob. 6 minute microwaved scrambled eggs anyone? 8 minute microwaved beans out of a tin? No? Me neither, I still cannot eat beans to this day and have never cooked eggs in the microwave ever.

@Bodeganights 🤮

@Auburngal - DFIL has tried posting cheese to us, from Cornwall. Does he go to somewhere where they will wrap it properly and ship it with a cool pack, to keep it fresh? No, he does not. He clingfilms the pieces of cheese onto a foil tray, parcels it up himself, and dispatches it via Royal Mail. It was a tad - friendly - when it arrived!

He really does try to send people things they will want, but he is only loosely attached to reality, so it is all a bit hit and miss - but one of the joys of Christmas and birthdays is seeing what off-the-wall gift he's come up with this time!

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius On a similar note to food and RM. About 30-35 years ago, DM's friend at Easter decided to put some mini Creme Eggs in the envelope. Yep, squashed to hell.

Oh, I've just got a new one! Freshly received...

A fake-taxidermy rodent wearing clothes.

At least I've a few weeks to work out how to word the thank you letter.

Is the taxidermy or the rodent fake? I feel that would create 2 different things

Lol... It appears to be a 'children's' toy that's meant to look like it's taxidermy... I don't know if it's meant to exude "we think your child is a future serial killer" vibes, but it kind of does.

I'm going to substitute it for a book token. DC is not getting this.

MIL got me a chest freezer which didn't fit into my house but conveniently fitted into her utility, she looked after it for me for years. Surprised she didn't charge me for storage.

My dp bought me toothpicks

A small box of toothpicks-i thought they where earrings,so I saved the box to unwrap last

He's never going to hear the end of it to be honest-its got to the point where I choose what I want,he gives me the money,it arrives and I put it away for him to wrap

Fucking toothpicks (I'm not over this!)

A hideous thermal jumper from Damart.
I tried it on and struggled to hide my joy as I said " oh, that's a shame,the sleeves are too short"My MIL( who gave me it ) said " Three quarter length sleeves are very fashionable".Yeah right, why would you wear a jumper with sleeves that barely covered your elbows if you wanted to keep warm.I declined her offer of getting a replacement .

Slightly off topic but my mum cooks omelettes in the microwave. She’s been in her current house three years and the oven has never been used.

I've done microwave omelette on occasion. It's edible, but nowhere near as good as the lovely fluffy omelette you get when you do it properly. And six minutes??? How many eggs was that? Didn't it explode?

I did try a microwave mug cake and microwave risotto a couple of years back. Won't be trying them again...

Micro mug cakes are good. Try the fast 800 one with almonds. It's keto afaik? Did you overdo it? I don't have a sweet tooth but quite like that.

@NonPlayerCharacter

thefast800.com/easy-chocolate-mug-cake/

Definite Norman Bates vibes there. And you know where his mother ended up, Scirocco...

Oh no...