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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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6
Bruisername · 21/11/2024 09:18

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 21/11/2024 09:08

I've worked for small local charities, and you'd have no idea from the accounts what a shambles they were.

Also rife with big personalities, trustees drafted in as social favours, and absolutely terrible management of serious issues.

I had to step in as a junior member of staff to prevent or correct serious mismanagement many times (working PT for convenience during studies, but actually with far more experience than the leadership).

I wouldn't give a penny to a small charity, especially one dealing with any sort of serious issues.

Yes - it’s actually very easy to start a charity and with small ones it is best to see them in action etc and get a feel for the people behind it

you get people who set up charities for personal gain but you also get people who set up charities for good reasons but then feel entitled to take from it

it’s very tricky

i donate to an overseas charity that does good anti-poaching and women’s empowerment work but I understand that some of the funds may not go exactly where I want it to but overall they are also meeting their goals

AngelinaFibres · 21/11/2024 09:20

YorkieIsDefinitelyForGirls · 21/11/2024 08:07

You could tell in the early interviews Hannah was getting a massive ego boost/delight/saw £ signs. Grubby little mare.

She was given a seat in the Royal box at Wimbledon that year. She looked very pleased with herself.

Zimunya · 21/11/2024 09:20

ShouldIJustKeepChangingTables · 21/11/2024 07:30

True - at least the right are honest that they despise the vulnerable and have no intention of supporting anyone but themselves.

I read the DM, along with the Times, FT and Guardian. I find it useful to calibrate my views and understand the perspectives of other people with different life experiences to mine - I find it stops me making sweeping generalisations about large groups of people that can come across as ignorant.

👏👏👏

Puzzledandpissedoff · 21/11/2024 09:20

Harsh perhaps, but it's hard to disagree, and for those who didn't buy into the hysteria of the time this latest news was always expected

And sorry, but I never saw anything outstanding about some pensioner shuffling round the garden, though even the Queen fell for the PR opportunity. What was outstanding was the speed with which his ghastly family fell upon the opportunity

There must be a study to be made, somewhere, into just how easily people fall for this stuff, but I doubt the interested parties will ever allow it to happen

Flapjacker48 · 21/11/2024 09:21

There was always heavy marketing - even in the original walk, for example, Tom himself would never have introduced himself or said he was "Captain" Moore - retired army officers below field rank do not use their old titles - it is seen as very bad form to do so and he would have been well aware of this, but the daughter probably though it made it more marketable!

Viviennemary · 21/11/2024 09:25

ChocolateTelephone · 21/11/2024 06:43

They are horrors. Greedy, deceitful, manipulative graspers who exploited the good faith and generosity of people genuinely moved by the sincerity and effort of their father/FIL in order to fund luxuries well beyond the reach of the people the charity was intended to help. Shameless, wicked, unforgivable greed.

Criminal I would say. I hope a prosecution will be forthcoming. I didn't give anything. I thought about it but didn't get round to it. So glad I didnt.

PointsSouth · 21/11/2024 09:26

@Ytcsghisn Not surprising, most lefties practice hypocrisy. Say one thing and do the exact opposite.

Oh, the qualifier 'most' is a masterstroke. It allows all us lefties to think, "Well, ytcsghisn obviously has the inside track here, and has done the research in some exhaustive and thorough way, but thank goodness it's not all of us. Me, for instance, I'm one of those lefties who ytcsghisn is happy to concede are not hypocrites".

Just as a matter of interest, what was your method and exactly what percentage of lefties above fifty percent did you find to be hypocrites?

Of course, if it's just 'in my experience' then I imagine you'll be actively interested in my unsupported anecdotal assessment of the ethics of most non-lefties.And you'll feel that my posting it is not only worthwhile but useful.

SassK · 21/11/2024 09:28

Flapjacker48 · 21/11/2024 09:21

There was always heavy marketing - even in the original walk, for example, Tom himself would never have introduced himself or said he was "Captain" Moore - retired army officers below field rank do not use their old titles - it is seen as very bad form to do so and he would have been well aware of this, but the daughter probably though it made it more marketable!

Edited

Was he not wearing medals during the walk itself though?

quantumbutterfly · 21/11/2024 09:31

SassK · 21/11/2024 09:11

I didn't warm to any of the family, and I thought the Barbados trip and the other hospitality they all received was incredibly crass.
There's nothing about the warm 'in it together' examples we're fed about the covid period that I look back on fondly, from the weekly clapping to Tom Moore walking round his garden - every such example just makes me shudder; I hated the overreaching response/restrictions.

That said, there are far worse cases of financial advantage routinely taking place in the upper echelons of business/society in the UK. The press has been particularly savage with the Moore family - if the press make you they can break you I guess. I don't think there would've been anything unreasonable about Tom Moore using the money he was paid for the books deal to benefit his family, the issue was that he gave the impression in the books that charity was going to benefit.

At last, a balanced comment.

It was a challenging time and the repercussions are still with us in different ways for all age groups. People lost livelihoods and lives.

I have good memories of one of my neighbours leading exercise classes on the street, ( each participant standing outside their house). But the eerie sound of the neighbourhood clapping left mixed emotions.

AyrshireTryer · 21/11/2024 09:32

People got conned.
If you want to give money to the NHS, give it straight to your local hospital trust.
I always thought the whole thing was dodgy.
Captain Tom Cobleigh and all.

Flapjacker48 · 21/11/2024 09:32

SassK · 21/11/2024 09:28

Was he not wearing medals during the walk itself though?

Of course Tom had served as a Captain in WW2 and earned his medals.

It's all about how retired officers and "etiquette" - and believe me someone in a cavalry regiment in WW2 like him would have known this - hence it was the daughter marketing him as this (only a certain rank and above continues to use the rank when retired and even that is seen as bit try hard!)

Moonshine5 · 21/11/2024 09:35

Ytcsghisn · 21/11/2024 07:25

A shot paper that all the lefties read?

Not surprising, most lefties practice hypocrisy. Say one thing and do the exact opposite.

?????
Are you feeling alright - what did you put on your cornflakes lol

ClairDeLaLune · 21/11/2024 09:38

roastiepotato · 21/11/2024 06:05

I was shocked to hear the book wasn't being sold to make more money for charity

Despite Captain Tom having written this in its preface:

“Astonishingly at my age with the offer to write this memoir I have also been given the chance to raise even more money for the charitable foundation now established in my name.”

I believe Captain Tom wanted to raise money for charity with his book, but that went out of the window after his death.

Coolasfeck · 21/11/2024 09:39

randomflumpsy · 21/11/2024 08:42

Might sound cynical but I suspect most high profile stunts aren't altruistic at heart. It's the people who quietly and consistently get on with fund raising/ volunteering/ helping others without needing to be in the limelight who are the real heroes

I agree. Obviously we have no idea if Tom was in on it or not but its certainly possible, and the idea that is old so therefore he must have had innocent/pure motives is ludicrous.

It was sickening the way people were castigated and berated when they expressed concerns about it- so many hateful responses from others about how if you didnt donate or support them you were awful, cruel, un kind, hated the elderly etc

It went beyond that. It became a culture war where if you questioned it, some accused you of being anti-British. The Ingram-Moore’s were very clever in insuring that he was always photographed wearing medals, Dame Vera Lynn probably playing in the background. They made it appear like a patriotic duty to donate. If you didn’t support you were a leftie who hated this country. It was a crazy time.

quantumbutterfly · 21/11/2024 09:39

Bruisername · 21/11/2024 09:18

Yes - it’s actually very easy to start a charity and with small ones it is best to see them in action etc and get a feel for the people behind it

you get people who set up charities for personal gain but you also get people who set up charities for good reasons but then feel entitled to take from it

it’s very tricky

i donate to an overseas charity that does good anti-poaching and women’s empowerment work but I understand that some of the funds may not go exactly where I want it to but overall they are also meeting their goals

I donate to a charity that supports people with my son's rare disease. Two ladies in an office, (one of whom has the disease) co-ordinate support groups, information packs, childrens' activities, research funding, a yearly conference, a monthly magazine, and links to their counterparts in other countries.

They have given people like me far more than I could give back.

SquishyGloopyBum · 21/11/2024 09:40

I don't think the Captain was entirely innocent himself either.

All the media fuss- I mean there was that awful song with Michael Ball. It was all so crass. But it does show the mood of things at that time.

One good thing to come out of it was that he inspired Tony Hudgell. What an amazing and truly inspiring boy he is.

Worriedandconfused1723 · 21/11/2024 09:40

fedup33 · 21/11/2024 08:32

If Captain had been some guy on an estate it wouldn't have gained traction.

Can you imagine it Jimmy from number 17 walks around the garden " for the NHS"

Rich get richer.

Exactly. Poor Jimmy’s garden isn’t big enough for this kind of thing.

I seem to remember a story that came out around the same time as captain Tom about an elderly lady who was walking up and down the stairs (in her very normal house) for the NHS. No surprise which one became a national phenomenon.

SassK · 21/11/2024 09:41

Flapjacker48 · 21/11/2024 09:32

Of course Tom had served as a Captain in WW2 and earned his medals.

It's all about how retired officers and "etiquette" - and believe me someone in a cavalry regiment in WW2 like him would have known this - hence it was the daughter marketing him as this (only a certain rank and above continues to use the rank when retired and even that is seen as bit try hard!)

I got the impression Tom Moore enjoyed the recognition/publicity, that was my point.
Just because he was elderly doesn't mean he wasn't capable of free will (he came across, cognitively, sharp as a tack)... He was usually addressed on TV as Captain, I never once heard him say Tom will do.

Comedycook · 21/11/2024 09:42

Even at the time I found the whole thing quite nauseating and am pleased I didn't donate a penny.

Cattery · 21/11/2024 09:44

I thought he was doing laps of his nursing home until my dad pointed out that was the family home! Wealthy people who’ve got more than most and wanting more. Shameful

Cattery · 21/11/2024 09:45

@Comedycook Same

puffyisgood · 21/11/2024 09:45

Hugely misleading headline, "shame" isn't even in her vocabulary.

Overtheatlantic · 21/11/2024 09:45

Ytcsghisn · 21/11/2024 07:25

A shot paper that all the lefties read?

Not surprising, most lefties practice hypocrisy. Say one thing and do the exact opposite.

It’s a bit early for all the vitriol. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

oneeggisunoeuf · 21/11/2024 09:48

I didn't like Captain Tom, and have always thought his daughter is a chip off the old block, a pair of utter grifters.
Unfortunately any criticism of them at the time was met with howls of protest. It's nice to feel vindicated!

randomflumpsy · 21/11/2024 09:48

Coolasfeck · 21/11/2024 09:39

It went beyond that. It became a culture war where if you questioned it, some accused you of being anti-British. The Ingram-Moore’s were very clever in insuring that he was always photographed wearing medals, Dame Vera Lynn probably playing in the background. They made it appear like a patriotic duty to donate. If you didn’t support you were a leftie who hated this country. It was a crazy time.

Oh absolutely! didnt they have a PR person involved right from the very start too? - it wasnt just some bloke randomly walking around his garden, it was a skilfully orchestrated campaign right from the start. It actually wasnt just some old bloke whom the papers picked up.

There were lots of other people without a PR campaign walking or going up and down stairs and they barely got a mention

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