Is my kids club schedule too intense

[AlsIns]

So DD2 is 8, Y4. She loves being busy and I've more or less said yes to every club she wants to do. DD1 is 11 and has never done so many clubs.
Currently DD2's schedule is
Tuesday 5-6 - Tennis Private
Wednesday 3.30-4.30 - Piano Private (Straight from school)
Wednesday 5-6 - Ballet
Thursday 5-6 - Tennis Private
Saturday 9-11 - Tennis group session
Saturday - 1-2 Ice Skating 2-2-1 with a friend (Only October-April) Horse Riding 2-2-1 (April - October).

Generally on Saturdays the friends mum and I take turns on taking the girls and keep them until about 7pm, give them dinner afterwards.

About once a month, she will go to a full day tennis tournament on a Sunday.

My In-laws think this is way too intense and DD is going to burn herself out. I'm more on the side of DD is happy, school aren't worried and she still sees friends so non issue.

AIBU to think this schedule is fine? DD1 only ever did Piano and Performing arts from about 7 on, before the she did swimming too but both my girl stopped swimming around the end of Y2.

If she wants to and is happy, let her. Just as long as you listen if she sailys she's tired and wants to stop something, and from how it sounds you wouldn't have an issue with that at all.

She might just have a tonne of energy. Some people I know had childhoods like this and turned into very energetic adults, which is a fantastic thing.

It’s far too much. It also reads like some kind of ‘socially -aspirational hobby’ playbook.

Does depend on the child obvs. I’d question when she was also fitting in piano practice and homework as that will increase a bit over next couple of years.

DD has picked every hobby herself apart from Piano. DD1 picked Performing arts instead.

Do you think the in-laws might actually be saying they want to see DD2 more?

I have a DS that is also very busy each week. He is 7 so a little younger
He does (all usually 1 hour an evening anywhere from straight after school to 6-7 pm) :
Mon - Football skills class
Tues - Beavers
Wed - Football team training
Thurs - Night off
Fri - Nerf Wars
Sat - Football match
Sun - Rugby training / match depending on week.

Beavers and Nerf Wars are term time, the rest run every week of the year bar the usually Christmas/easter week thing.

I do play dates once a term (usually 2/3 different play dates with different people), then weekends he has parties I'd say once every 6 weeks or so.

We do miss the weekend stuff I'd say once every 3 months as we go away/have parties/met up with friends etc.

I'd say as long as they are happy then it is fine. My DS has asked to add more to his schedule lol. Swimming and Boxing but we have said no right now. Its a great age right now to try new things and lots of sports before refining what they want to do.

I think this is fine, if she has the energy and wants to do it! DS has slightly more than this and I feel like a pushy mum whenever all the clubs come up in conversation with other parents but honestly he adores them, we can afford them, he has the energy/motivation and long term I think there'll be benefits as well. As long as you're happy with her cutting back when she gets tired/schoolwork starts getting more demanding I think it's a good thing!

For primary school homework won't get much more, her school is quite strict about the amount of homework they give. Currently my parents have her do her homework as soon as she gets in 4 days a week, then I read with her before bed, then she reads independently until she falls asleep. Piano she does 15 min in the morning with my mum.

We have a similar issue with people commenting on it being too much, but our DD is also happy being busy. You know her best and if she copes and is happy then it's fine. Very occasionally my DD will ask to miss something one night and we always let her as they need a break sometimes.

Seems okay to me. My general rule of thumb is two weekday evenings completely free and at least one day a weekend. And that’s what you’ve got!

If she’s happy and you’re willing to pay for that then I don’t see the issue. Personally I wouldn’t be shelling out for x2 private tennis plus a group session unless she was showing signs of doing it competitively… but maybe she is that good and each to their own! My 7YO does something every day expect Friday but half of them are school clubs which makes it easier!

When does she get to see family and do you miss clubs for other events like parties or school discos? It does sound very busy and with not much downtime.

The only family we have are my parents and my In-laws. My parents take her to and pick her up from school everyday. Usually they drop her off at tennis/ballet and we pick her up from there.
My in-laws live in France so we go and visit them for 2 weeks every summer and they come to us over Christmas every year.
We skip for parties she wants to go to but the full class parties seem to have disappeared since starting Y3 and are often on Sundays anyway.
I don't think her school has ever had a party out of school hours so that's a non-issue.

Ballet once a week is pretty pointless, if she wants to progress she'll need to do more dance / flexibility related sessions. General musical theatre or drama would be better and lead to longer enjoyment, soon all those little girls that practically live at the dance school will fly and DD will be left alone, unless you are doing it to supplement the ice skating but again that would need to pick up if taking it seriously.

They are all also pretty solo activities, and her timetable is too full to add any of the fun stuff like youth orchestra or band for piano on or a team sport. Unless she is really fabulous Id drop one of the tennis private lessons for a group recreational one and maybe drop ballet for another team sport or Brownies.

DDs timetable did look like that at Primary and would do multiple classes a night at the dance school, then we moved on to comp swimming which was 5 X a week. Covid made us stop and re-evaluate and we both decided to reduce them and are much better off for it.

The one thing I would change if I had my child raising years over again would be doing much less and let them have time to breathe.

Interesting point. DDs Ballet school only offer one class a week until Grade 5 then it goes up. DD does it as she enjoys it.not because she plans to be a ballerina. On the other hand she loves tennis and loves competing so seems pointless getting rid of the one she likes the most.

I did this with DD1. She had one club Saturday 9-12 and one on a Wednesday straight from school.
This isn't me forcing lots on to DD, this is DD wanting to do lots.

You know your kid, I think it's fine.

My DD has always done lots after school and on weekends and still does as a teenager. She loves it. She’s happy, fit, motivated, very social and doing great at school. Lots of friends moan about their kids not wanting to do anything and always gaming or on their phones. I know which way I’d rather have it.

When does she just be? When does she free play? When has the opportunity to develop her creativity by being allowed to get bored.

She isn't a reliable source as to this being the preferred way of living if she hasn't experienced an alternative.

Personally I want my children to have chilled weekends so one activity. That allows them time with friends. My children have three evenings of activities. Though two are team based.

Your daughters activities are not condusive to building friendships or team skills. When does she spend time with parents? And the Saturday our all day without family, sorry just strikes me as strange.

All these activities seem to be a modern thing, and it all looks a bit competitive to me. In my day ( I'm in my seventies) we went to school, came home, had tea and then played with friends. I only had two activities and those were piano lessons and guides.

It's a good point. we have had stages of less activity, it didn't start this high. For example the tennis on week nights only started last year. She was desperate to play tennis more. Even now on Friday nights she begs her dad or I to go to the courts with her.
The Saturdays Is a tricky one and ideally id rather we scrapped ice skating/horse riding but DD really loves going and as she goes with her best friend it's definitely social.

It's fine if she's happy with it.

I think it's worrying that people think an 8 year old doing an hour of sport after school everyday plus a day of activities on Saturday is 'too much' tbh.

My only concern would be that it's a lot of structured time and it is good for them to have enough time to be bored, even if they don't like it.

Lots of kids are in after school care from 3.30 - 6, you are just using one of those hours to do something structured with her - it's no big deal and completely fine. A lot of private schools would have this amount of things on top without question. She still has loads of time to play. Same with the weekends, a bit of horse riding or ice skating is a lovely way to spend an hour or two.

Don't worry OP, it sounds like she just likes being busy, this is a completely normal schedule for the kids I know and none have suffered from it.

When do you hang out as a family. When do the sisters spend any time together when does dd1 get quality time with you that doesn't involve stopping to accommodate some element of DD2 schedule