Is my kids club schedule too intense

[AlsIns]

So DD2 is 8, Y4. She loves being busy and I've more or less said yes to every club she wants to do. DD1 is 11 and has never done so many clubs.
Currently DD2's schedule is
Tuesday 5-6 - Tennis Private
Wednesday 3.30-4.30 - Piano Private (Straight from school)
Wednesday 5-6 - Ballet
Thursday 5-6 - Tennis Private
Saturday 9-11 - Tennis group session
Saturday - 1-2 Ice Skating 2-2-1 with a friend (Only October-April) Horse Riding 2-2-1 (April - October).

Generally on Saturdays the friends mum and I take turns on taking the girls and keep them until about 7pm, give them dinner afterwards.

About once a month, she will go to a full day tennis tournament on a Sunday.

My In-laws think this is way too intense and DD is going to burn herself out. I'm more on the side of DD is happy, school aren't worried and she still sees friends so non issue.

AIBU to think this schedule is fine? DD1 only ever did Piano and Performing arts from about 7 on, before the she did swimming too but both my girl stopped swimming around the end of Y2.

So child dependent. If she's happy...ignore it. My 6 year old plays football, does Rainbows, Beavers, swimming and two types of dance. She's always looking for new things to try. When she joined the football team, I suggested she might want to quit something else and was glared at. Her older brother used to do as many things but now aged 9 only has violin, kickboxing, swimming and drama. They both still have plenty of time to relax and to play with friends.

I think it's fine. Very similar to my DD's schedule when she was that sort of age (Swimming, horseriding, Brownies, piano, athletics). She continued with that sort of schedule all the way through childhood.

I totally agree. Kids of every age should be doing a minimum of an hour sport/exercise a day. I am always shocked how little some kids do and how unfit many are. It then continues into adulthood which will all know is not good.

Does she enjoy it
Can you afford it
Can you facilitate it.

If the answer is yes to all these... keep going.
If one or more answer is no, then reevaluate.

Given it sounds like your parents are responsible for the after school period I think you should listen, sounds like they are saying the don't like having to grtnhwr from school, manage homework and probably a snack in like a 1 hour period then have to trek out to take her to her next club. Seems like you are asking a kot of them.
Where is your older child while the adults are all playing taxi for the 8yo?

If she likes it there's no problem. I think the weekend ones are a bit excessive as I can't imagine you would get much time to do things as a family but each to their own

But being active doesn’t have to be anything organised, it can be a kick around with friends, or a bike ride.

DD1 gets way more time with us than DD2.
For example on a Tuesday DD1 walks home from school, does her homework and chills. DD2 is at my parents. I get home at 5 and do dinner with DD1. DH picks DD2 up on his way home. We eat dinner together.

The girls don't play together, this wouldn't change with less clubs though. They don't share any interests. DD1 likes to go out with her friends, FaceTime them, watch films etc. DD2 would rather read, draw, play tennis etc.
In the summer they never play together and that's not because of activities.

My parents don't have an issue with it. My in-laws who live in France do.
My older DD is Y7 now so she is home alone until I get home at 5, She can go to my parents but doesn't want to.

This schedule is way too busy imo and must be an absolute PITA for you as her personal taxi. When does she get time to get bored and direct her own activities?

Think it’s fine, mine did similar. At some point I imagine she’ll have to cut down and choose but no need to narrow her options down yet. How lovely for her to have tried so many activities.

Seconded. Sounds like you're allowing her to do loads of things she enjoys. She will naturally cut down / streamline as time goes by but great she's trying so many different things

I've not read the whole thread, I think it does depend on the child but I'd be leaning towards saying she does too much. My DD is 7, we've capped her at 3 activities per week. We do plenty of reading, crafting at home, she also loves playing with her younger sister, making up games. I think it can be difficult when you see lots of children around busy every day- makes you wonder whether your child is missing out. Personally, I only ever did up to 2 extra curriculars at a time, and I can speak several languages and play an instrument, so I don't feel like I've missed out
It is important for your DD to learn to occupy herself, if you schedule every moment of her free time she will forever expect you to plan for her. We've had playdates with children like this, I'd dump some crafting/ paints / dolls for the girls, and they'd look at me, waiting to tell them what to do!! I am too lazy for that.
I'd drop something and concentrate on what she really enjoys.
I think it's only different if the child is extremely sporty and needs lots of training sessions, I'd break my rule of 3 for that. As it is, my firstborn is academic, so she is very happy to read her books instead of playing football. Good luck, it is so difficult to tell what is right sometimes.

I think she will naturally drop things as she gets older anyway. It must cost you a fortune though!

Dd is a teenager now and does a sport 2x a week and and once at the weekend this is enough as she has lots of homework and relaxing to do.

It's tricky as I don't feel like DD struggles to occupy herself. On Sundays and the weeknights with no actives she happily does her own thing, usually reading, crafts and playing with her dolls or going to play a friend who lives a few doors down.

I would like to drop Ice Skating/Horse riding but as she does it with a friend and enjoys it so much it's hard to do?
She loves Tennis, Ballet and Piano so I wouldn't touch them and she wants to be competitive at tennis so the privates make sense. She's won a lot of the tournaments she's competed in, so I would say it's worth it.

My DS is the same age and has an activity 4 nights a week and 1 weekend day. 4 are sport and 1 is a music lesson. It is a lot to fit in and we do feel busy but on the flip side, I want to keep him as active as possible for as long as possible as otherwise he’d probably just be sitting in front of the TV or wanting to play computer games (which he’s only allowed at weekends). So I think it’s fine as long as your DD is happy and enjoys all the activities!

Honestly dont see an issue if shes happy and enjoys them.

My 2 DDs age 9 and 11 train hard in a competitive sport around 21 hours a week, we have a tuesday and a sunday off.

Maybe a bit different for us as DS is an only child, but that doesn't look too different from his schedule. Age 11/Y6.

Monday his friend comes round after school, then he has a 30 minute 1-2-1 football training session.
Tuesday training for football team 1
Wednesday guitar lesson
Thursday training for football team 2
Saturday morning match for football team 1
Sunday morning match for football team 2

Like your DD he hasn't always done all of these things, and he's done other activities (swimming, climbing) at times.

My point of view is that he's getting out of the house, doing things he enjoys, is keeping active and mixing with different kids.

This was my DD. She's now Y10, homework has ramped up massively, she wants to see friends outside school. And still does all the activities! I'll not list them but it tots up to about 11 hours (currently 16 but only for a couple more weeks) of structured hobby activities.

She gets up early and does school work in the morning before school, and it helps that we live close to school and all her activities so there's not a lot of travel time. She keeps saying she will cut back, but then comes home and says she's signed up for xyz after school and oops, she's added something in. Her school work is still high standard, if that slipped she'd be making changes herself before we had to push her to it.

Plus side, she's got awesome organisational skills and focus when she needs to use them. Down side, she does get tired. She's learning to make choices!

people wouldn’t be complaining if you put your kid in “afterschool club” til 5pm each day.
so I don’t think it’s a problem for her to do actual activities.
it’s nice to do pleasure activities too (horse riding and ice skating are just for fun)
I would think as a family it would be good to have Sundays free, to do day trips, big lunches, house work, down time. But if you aren’t grumbling about taking her to activities and your other child is happy and cared for what’s the issue?

things will change again once she’s in secondary school.

Exactly this.Also absolutely nothing wrong with saying No to an activity .

Sounds like it’s anything so u don’t have to spend time with yr child.

It sounds like you are happy and you are best to judge.

All of us have to accept that time is limited and by choosing to do any one thing, we are also choosing not to do something else with the same time.

DD (8) best friend does about 8 hours a week of intense sport. The BF is very happy and energetic - she is missing out on some of bog standard play dates but for them the sports are more important (I don’t understand why, but it’s not my choice)

I love how everyone is missing that it is DDs choice and our older DD doesn't do all this. Surely if it was me not wanting to see my child both of them would be doing it!

My DS is six and in Year 2. He does nothing. I want him to do swimming lessons, but beyond that, I'm happy for him to do nothing. It's his choice. He's autistic and struggles just with going to school every day.

I can't afford lots of clubs either. (Minus swimming if I can persuade him to do it).

If your DD is happy and it's her choice, then it's fine. If you were forcing her, then that's an entirely different matter, but if she genuinely wants to do them all - no problem.