To think DH’s lack of DIY skills should not have endangered my father?

[RussellJack]

As above, he is appalling at DIY but I trusted him to assemble some relatively simple ikea chairs. Tonight my elderly father sat on one and ended up lying on the ground because, upon examination afterwards, it had been missing a bolt.
What the hell does one do in this situation…DH is very kind to my parents and is a good man but his oversight could’ve really injured my father so I want to murder him but can’t murder him?!

Perhaps you could put chairs together in the future then?

Why didn’t you do it if he is appalling at it?

Or help him and check?

Anyone, even someone really good at DIY, can make a mistake.

Don’t murder him.

Can you do the DIY in future? OR pay someone who can do the job.

Oh my word, hope your lovely dad is ok. I'm sure your OP is mortified.

You could also assemble a chair?

Hope your dad is OK

Well…he’s doing what he’s doing when he’s in the wrong which is to get really indignant and deny all responsibility, but hopefully there’s some mortification behind that?!

Knowing that DIY is not one of your DH’s strengths, why did you ask him to assemble the chairs? Might it not have been wiser for you to do it yourself?

I get that I could also assemble a chair but I do lots and lots of other jobs so I guess I took an optimistic view and left that job to DH,

On one hand you say he is appalling at DIY, yet you didn't double check that he had indeed assembled the chair properly? This isn't really his fault, its a genuine error that resulted in an unfortunate accident. Hope your dad is ok.

Confiscate his Allen key.

You do all assembly now, with him there purely to provide lifting muscle and coffees.

Some people are just shit at it and anything requiring spatial skills, especially where the instructions are pictures they then need to translate into 3D and into a process.

I'm the spatially adept one at home. DP really, really isn't - any conversation that requires dimensional awareness has to be no longer than 3 words at a time (many of which will be 'your other left') and generally degenerate into 'for fuck's sake' and 'I'll do it'.

Has he apologised? To your dad, for fucking up a very simple job.

Ha ha, yep, I think he might turn his Allen key over to me quite willingly after this.

What the hell does one do in this situation

Nothing? It was an accident. I'm alright at DIY - if I built a chair and made a genuine mistake and it collapsed, I wouldn't really expect DH to be angry at me over it tbh.

Hope your dad is OK bless him.

I have to do all the flat pack assembly/ minor DIY in our household as DH is utterly hopeless at it

If you had checked the chairs after he put them together, you'd have people shouting at you for undermining him.

Nope he has not, he was quite defensive in the moment, which would be his style when he screws up.

The issue here then isn't the actual screw up, which could happen to anyone, it's his attitude and failure to apologise

You see, that's what would annoy me more, not the being rubbish at DIY and making a mistake as that could be any of us...... but no apology, going on the defensive etc is really poor

You know he's crap at DIY, and you let your elderly father sit there without checking? Either do it yourself or pay someone in future, then nobody's life is at risk.

Yep, he has serious problems admitting when he is wrong, you’re right, it’s an issue.

Oh dear! I hope your dad is ok. I tend to do this sort of diy myself for fear of my dh doing exactly what yours did!

It’s genuinely surprising to hear so many others say their DH’s are similarly useless! All the men I know in real life can seemingly assemble a small house in their sleep, I thought DH was in the minority..

It was an accident. Get over yourself.

Putting together Ikea furniture is barely DIY - I mean it's basically large-scale Lego - and I would not find it an attractive quality in a partner that he couldn't even manage to do that.

That said, I don't think it should automatically be deemed the man's job so you could have done it yourself.

Perhaps next time, you could do the DIY if your DH is so useless at it?

These things happen.