To struggle on this salary?

[Unfff]

Or more to the point… think it’s just not worth the hard work anymore?

Had enough. I earn 3,100 a month. My mortgage is 900 and car finance 300. Student loans 300. Nursery is 800 and I get 400 child maintenance. By the time I’ve paid bills… this months heating was 150! Water another 50. Phone bill and Netflix… I’m left with barely anything. My job is really full on and I work late or weekends often… I do t strictly have to but it’s the sort of job where you just do… otherwise things fall apart.

I don’t do expensive things. Can’t actually remember last time I went on holiday! AIBU to find it utterly miserable that taking home this much money means you still can’t just buy a coat or even new jumper etc without having to think twice?!

tbf there are probably people who don’t work full-time and live in rented accommodation that are on UC and other benefits with a similar or greater disposable income than OP and can definitely heat their home and have Netflix.

Obviously OP has the benefit of owning her home but there’s also financial implications to that eg. Having to Pay to fix things if they break down.

Yes she will be better off in the long term but it’s understandable she is feeling the pinch now. I think one issue as I’ve stated upthread is a lot of single parents don’t get as much financial or childcare contribution as they should.

If her partner split the childcare costs with her AND gave £400 maintainance she’d be better off instantly. So often the state - or in this case a single woman earning a decent salary - is paying to compensate for a man who isn’t paying enough.

When I first read your post I thought why can't you manage. But adding it up yes I can see it. Bills as you say like council tax, car expenses all have to come out too. Car loan is very high. But folk do need a reliable car.

This is the issue.

it should be the default that if a parent isn’t willing to do 50:50, they should pay half of childcare as well as CMS

I really hate this. I’m on UC. I work full time in a minimum wage role and take home £1600 after tax. UC tops me up to £2300. I have zero disposable income and high housing costs. I am also a single parent. I receive no maintenance because he hides his earnings. I pay half the wrap around care though as I’ve been telling them to bill him for the other half.

I appreciate yes the state is filling in for a man’s failings but it’s still not fun and games just because I’m on UC.

Just because someone is on UC doesn’t mean they have loads of disposable income. I wish I had any sort of subscription 😂.

Your situation is particularly tough though. You work full-time and it sucks that you’re not paid a living wage. The minimum wage is not enough to live on! It is extra unfair that you get no maintenance. Some people can make UC work for them in that they don’t work full-time so get extra benefits out of it. Sounds like you work hard though and I hope karma gets to your ex.

You don't get extra benefits by not working full time on UC. You are better off the more you earn, it's not like the old style tax credits where there is a big drop off.

I meant extra “benefit” (as in time benefit if you’re not working full time) benefits. I know you are better off working more but there comes a point where childcare costs outweigh what some people earn. The bottom line is that the minimum wage isn’t enough for people to have even a minimum standard of living.

I'm very similar position with income and nursery. I have been harassing my ex for months for more money to contribute to nursery. He has finally agreed to pay a tiny bit of the bill. I had to write lots of tables, really shame him with the numbers, remind him we are both responsible the child, ask him what he would think of a friend doing the same thing, tell him it's abnormal, provide case law where private fdr have ordered nursery and extra curricular lesson payment on top of child maintenance etc.

This is what my part nursery bill is after all these things

Op you can also use thre mortgage charger to increase the length of your mortgage or switch it to interest only for 6 months, I did this and it saved me a couple hundred a month.

There's a LOT of people who live on much less each, but still have the same bills.

Would a childminder be cheaper?

How high is your heating/what kind of house?

We swapped to netflix with ads, there are barely any I hardly noticed.

I really hope you’re actually taking the peesh and not being serious here about UC 😂

Whenever I see threads like this I always wonder if the person posting is actually someone who should be complaining.

How about if you had your rent being £900 a month and then some of your other bills and trying to cope with take home of less than half what you get? As someone else has pointed out there's £1k more income than expenditure.

Check your budget and see what you're doing wrong. Yes I suspect you are doing something wrong. Too many Starbucks? Too many takeaways? Too much on makeup, hair styling, clothes? Get a cheaper car for a start.

🤣🤣🤣

Do you qualify for tax free childcare? I didn’t know about this until a colleague told me, which I found odd as I thought the childcare I use attached to my child’s school might have said?

Its a 20% discount.

I hate this narrative “I’d be better off not working” I’d love those people to get by on the pittance we have to get by on. I’m disabled and my partner is my full time carer and I get just over £2000 a month & that has to cover everything including 2 kids. I haven’t been on holiday this year either and only managed 1 last year because a relative died and left a little bit of money. I’ll tell you what we can swap I’ll have your monthly income and you have mine and we will see how quickly you want to change back.

This sucks op can't you get more child maintenance? Seems unfair your paying all this money and ur ex is paying 100 a week for his dc. Why do men get away with not being held responsible for half of upbringing costs. just because you work it should not all be your responsibility. I hate reading these messages where the men can help make the child but not pay for there upkeep. The government need to do more to get parents who leave paying 50% of the dc no matter what there situation is.

Salaries haven’t kept pace with costs and what was once a good income no longer affords a comfortable, not extravagant, lifestyle. It is pants and certainly makes you wonder if it’s all worth it.

Your car is costing you £300 a month

Get rid and buy a cheap run around outright

Why do you need a brand new car if you're skint?

How much would you get on benefits?
Try living on that, then you'll know the difference, oh and you might lose your home

I live outside London and I pay £70 for full head colour, half head foils and a cut/blow dry.

I would consider £500 for bedding very extravagant and I’m sure the £230 spent in Tesco was for more than washing powder, dishwasher tablets and a couple of bottles of wine.

Your post comes across as a stealth boast and doesn’t help the OP one bit.

Presumably you're stuck with the car and penalties to stop early?
Worth taking a pension break until you get free nursery?

Once you add in food, petrol, insurance and unexpected expenses that can easily account for the remaining 1000 a month, and that's before takeaways, clothes or treats.

You have my sympathies OP, no advice but I feel your pain.