To struggle on this salary?

[Unfff]

Or more to the point… think it’s just not worth the hard work anymore?

Had enough. I earn 3,100 a month. My mortgage is 900 and car finance 300. Student loans 300. Nursery is 800 and I get 400 child maintenance. By the time I’ve paid bills… this months heating was 150! Water another 50. Phone bill and Netflix… I’m left with barely anything. My job is really full on and I work late or weekends often… I do t strictly have to but it’s the sort of job where you just do… otherwise things fall apart.

I don’t do expensive things. Can’t actually remember last time I went on holiday! AIBU to find it utterly miserable that taking home this much money means you still can’t just buy a coat or even new jumper etc without having to think twice?!

@saffy2 1k for all bills is not much. Council tax 150, heating 100… etc

Will your ex not contribute a bit more?

Did you read my post? We as a couple bring in a LOT less than you, with three children and a higher mortgage. You need to be more frugal. By a lot. Starting with the ridiculous car fee you’re paying each month. And then little by little cutting other costs, for example phone bill going to sim only, as I said I’m currently paying £1.10 per month for my mobile phone. We get Disney free. We pay £4.99 for Netflix. I check prices of things and switch us often, for example gas and electric etc. there’s no reason why with a single parent household earning what you do that you should be struggling to the extent you are. You are mismanaging your finances.

And if you can’t afford your heating on, you need to stop putting it on quite frankly. The cost of living crisis means many of us haven’t yet had our heating on, and I’ve got a 7m old baby. We are wrapping up and heating the person as much as possible. So try that too and that also may free up a little money each month.

Our council tax is more than yours too. I think you need to sit down and literally look at every single expense and see how you can bring it down. On that wage, you should not be struggling to the extent you are with only a 2 person household in my opinion.

It is hard OP. I remember those days but hang in there. The nursery fees will reduce before you know it.
Don't compare your situation to others. I used to get upset about the holidays and home improvements other people could afford and our single parent family couldn't, but years later I realised that some of those people were living on credit cards and mortgage equity.

I get what you mean about Netflix, but if you are struggling for money then anything that you don't need and can't afford, is a luxury. Lots of people get by with just freeview type tv because they can't afford anything else.

Download the MSE budget planner and enter everything onto there.

Look at how much convenience foods you buy (if any), and also if you buy coffees, lunch out etc, as all that is luxuries not essentials.

Clothing - only needs to be bought when outgrown or worn out, same with shoes.

See if you can drop a brand in all your supermarket shopping and shop in the cheapest supermarket that you can get to.

Every single thing that you buy - ask yourself do I actually need this? Do you need a new jumper, do you need a new coat?

See if you have anything that you can sell on vinted, use a cashback shopping website, there are lots of things you can do to bring in a little bit more.

I agree with PP too, don't compare yourself with others. As a single parent we had a lot of cheap caravan holidays while DD grew up, while others went abroad on All Inclusive etc. Most of them were paid for with credit cards.

The fancy cars, on finance, the fancy clothes, hair, nails, all on credit cards and all completely unnecessary.

Some people feel the cold more than others. Having spent years with no central heating that is the last thing I would skimp on. Being cold is miserable. You think you are saving money by not putting the heating on but your house will get damp etc. For the sake of your baby put the heating on! Just set the thermostat so if it goes below a certain point it comes on.

I agree with you on the car finance she has but not with putting her heating on.

There is only so much money in the pot!! 🤷🏽‍♀️ it’s not a case of just put the heating on. If our gas and electric direct debit increases that money has to come from elsewhere. We are not financially able to move money from somewhere else currently because I’m on maternity leave. We are managing fine, don’t worry about us. I’m not moaning, just saying to the op that cuts can be made in many places if she looks for them.
this is our third winter managing without much heating, I have smart trvs and so when bedrooms need some heat in the depths of winter I am able to do so without heating the whole house unnecessarily. But at the moment, it’s fine. I keep a close eye on the temperature and the costs etc. we wouldn’t be able to manage financially if I was any less frugal, and that’s what I’m trying to impart to the op. She needs to be a lot more careful about what she’s spending.

Anyone that thinks £300 gets you a fancy car is living on a cloud. £300 pcm gets you an average family car.

£800 child care is brutal, yes i know lots of people pay that much and more but frankly if we had to pay that it would have been pointless my wife working. We're lucky where we have a very accomodating MIL.

And folks not putting their heating on, FFS, is this any way to live? The UK is the sixth largest economy in the world, we should, as a minimum be able to afford to heat our homes.

My Council tax, gas and electric are between 6-700 per month just for those two bills.

OP, no doubt you could save some money, i think a lot of peple can, but dont let people tread you down because they can do it cheaper.

Some of the responses on this thread are so unkind! The OP is a single parent with a demanding job, she doesn't necessarily have time to sit down and compare her bills every month. Her CMS is pitiful vs her costs. Yes there are always places expenses can be cut but anyone saying you don't need the heating on needs to check themselves. I lived in a flat a couple of years ago that needed fans running in winter because it was so warm, I now live in a house which needs heating from October onwards. The accommodation someone lives in makes a huge difference as to whether heating is needed: if the OP needs heating on, then she needs it on.

It’s definitely a luxury though…..it has to be one of the first things to go if you are struggling

I’m not saying it gets a fancy car, I’m saying that she should get rid and buy a car outright for a grand for example and then there is no outgoing per month for it. I’ve never had a car on finance because I can’t afford a monthly outgoing like that. I buy the cheapest car available that meets my needs.
my last car was 17 years old…she’s not paying £300 a month for a 17 year old car is she. Which means, she could be saving in that area.

You can't really buy many second hand cars for under a grand anymore unless it is very run down which obviously costs more in repairs.

It is true that you have to search and compromise etc. but there’s a whole world of cars between under £1000 and £300 per month. That’s a saving that absolutely could be had if she wanted to free up her situation a little. As could mobile phone, internet, Netflix to the ads version, Disney to the ads version or get a Lloyds account and get it free, shorter showers, less heating (if people really need the heating on, it
could be lower or less time), all of these things could help her situation. Becuse there are lots of savings to be had here, that would help. Because at the end of the day she is on very good money (even in the area I live, south east which is very affluent, it’s good money) and she shouldn’t be struggling so much with such a small family on such good money. Therefore, if she makes small changes she won’t be struggling as much. £300 a month freed up would be absolutely huge for her.

Those of us who calculated that you have £1K left over have already accounted for your heating bill and your water bill in that as you mentioned them in your OP. If you are going to count them/pay them twice, then you will feel poor!

When you have a young child and need to pay nursery fees for them, yes, it's expensive. I think most people agree with that. But it isn't for ever and is an excellent opportunity to rethink your priorities and what really makes your life richer now and in the future.

@saffy2 I know there are cheaper cars out there, but it wasn't really aimed at you. Well done buying a decent car for 1k; there are not many about it; this is coming from someone who has taken a 25-year-old, £300 shite box to corporate events when I have a brand new car sitting on the drive.

£300 is an average new car. Also, if you're doing 20k a year, it does start to wear in a car that's 15+ years old, and depending on where she works, an older car may not even be an option; travelling into London on the regular was costing me £28 a day in low emissions and congestion charges.

Just saying swap your car is not that simple. Most cars are now leased in one way or another, and you can't just get out of them on a whim it's not that simple.

most cars are leased in one way or another becuase people live beyond their means. I have never leased or bought a car on finance, if I can’t afford to hand over the money for any item I don’t buy it. So I would say that’s a lesson to learn when taking on a leased car or buying a car on finance, that a monthly fee that high is too much
I agree that it’s not easy to get out of immediately, but it is doable. And if I was op it would be first in my list of attempting to decrease that outgoing. By whatever means necessary.

Interestingly if your cooker or fridge broke tomorrow or, in our case boiler needed replacing, would you just go without to save it or use finance. We had to use finance to replace the boiler. I have never used car on finance but I don't think it is easy to get out of the agreement? We will need a new second hand car soon We may have to consider paying it by monthly payments. Sometimes it can't be helped.

@saffy2

How do you pay your mortgage? And that's me not trying to be a funny arse about it; I could afford to buy a 150k house, but I wouldn't want to live there, so I have a mortgage to cover the rest on the house somewhere I do want to live.

It's horses for courses, £300 pcm for a car on a 45k salary is not high expense.

I've purchased cars outright, lost thousands on them in no time at all, and had cheap bangers for a few hundred quid that I've loved driving more than something 20x the cost. Sometimes it doesn't make financial sense to go and splash 15k on a car when you could keep that money in your bank, earning interest and have a car on 0% over 3 years and still come out the same or better off after 3 years.

Nursery years are do expensive but they soon pass. You need to cut back on heating if you are out at work and DC is at nursery you shouldn't be using £150 a month.

I agree, on the money she earns she probably thought it wasn’t a high expense. But she can’t live happily, she is struggling, she struggles to pay Netflix which costs a pittance. Therefore £300 isn’t a reasonable expense on her income the way she lives.

And yes we got a mortgage, and yes that does mean we live above our means, with one item in our lives. No we couldn’t afford to buy a house outright, and we still wanted to buy a house so we did and got a mortgage. If that makes me a hypocrite for being frugal elsewhere and living within my means elsewhere so be it 😂🤷🏽‍♀️

No, it just means it fits your needs, and that's okay. Horses for courses and all that, finances are not a one-solution fit all. What works for you or me, or what we feel is morally correct, will be completely different for someone else.

Now, if she said she was making 1900 a month on a single income, yeah, 300 is a lot on a car from that wage.

@saffy2 I’m not sure what your obsession is with a race to the bottom. No matter how many times you suggest buying a car for a grand it’s not going to change my view that being on the salary I am on SHOULD make life comfortable. I may as well not have done my degree and just taken an entry level job and stayed in that.