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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tell us why your male partner is lovely

121 replies

Brefugee · 17/11/2024 07:59

prompted by claims that MN is a viper's nest of misandry...

My DH is lovely. He took 18 months parental leave when our DC were small and has never ever shirked being a parent.

he has lots of other good points, but i thought I'd start the ball rolling

(he does tend to open a drawer to get something out, but then leave it open. We Have Words about this every week)

OP posts:
LondonWeeknd · 17/11/2024 11:15

Showerflowers he sounds amazing.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 17/11/2024 11:25

He’s always been very good, but dh excelled himself when I was in hospital for 3 weeks last year. I was having drenching sweats at night, sometimes having to change twice in the night (and couldn’t do with those thin, non absorbent hospital pyjamas) so twice a day he was coming in (a 20 minute walk each way - parking is always a nightmare) with freshly washed tops and bottoms.

Plus, when I was absolutely hating the state of my unwashed hair (drip on one side, lung drain on the other, so showering impossible) he helped me with the water jug to wash it in the basin.
Since then I have never once complained about the fact that he sneezes like a bomb going off!

CurlewKate · 17/11/2024 11:25

So lovely to read of all these happy relationships. Still a bit sad to see how low the bar can be, though...

kidsanddogs10 · 17/11/2024 11:28

Mine:
Is always excited and happy to look after the children.
Buys me presents almost every time we leave the house
Makes me date night dinners every week 😀
Always makes me feel confident and loved
Makes me feel completely trusting that we'll be together forever
Supports me with everything I do
Pushes me out of my comfort zones
🥰

KezzaMucklowe · 17/11/2024 11:50

SilverBlueRabbit · 17/11/2024 09:10

Did you mean to quote me?

ETA- aah, I get it. I think you meant the OP! 😆

Edited

I'm not sure what I was doing tbh. 😕
Can't even blame it on gin.

Toomanysquishmallows · 17/11/2024 11:56

@CurlewKate , why the negative comment on a lovely thread?

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 17/11/2024 11:57

CurlewKate · 17/11/2024 11:25

So lovely to read of all these happy relationships. Still a bit sad to see how low the bar can be, though...

Like what?

Codlingmoths · 17/11/2024 12:02

Showerflowers story makes me well up a bit!
my dh is a morning person and I’m a night owl so he lets me have just about all the weekend sleepins. He does the food shop, and meal plans, cooked a roast pork and fennel for the kids and parents who were coming to babysit and booked the tix for us to go out tonight. He’s been updating the Christmas list and he’s the best at socialising at school things, remembers everyone for me.

pikkumyy77 · 17/11/2024 12:02

When I was in labour with my first—three days, back labour, age 36, he slept on the floor of the room, emptied buckets of pee as I was wired up to lots of things, and at the most beautiful, psychologically necessary moment—when my spirits were flagging— he produced a little tape deck and a recording of my mother’s voice when she had left a message on my answering machine praising a publication of mine and raving about how proud she was of me. 30 years ago that took some doing.

He does lots of great things, big and small, but that stands out.

KimberleyClark · 17/11/2024 12:02

Mine is kind, caring and funny. He does 80% of the cooking and all of the washing up.

Once when I’d taken the dog for a walk to the park, it started bucketing down. He met me in the car as I came out of the park so I wouldn’t have to walk home in the rain. He’s wonderful when I’m ill.

malificent7 · 17/11/2024 12:12

Someone died on me at work (NHS) He bought me flowers as I was upset!

Dutch1e · 17/11/2024 12:38

Tons of stuff, he's a real partner in day-to-day life rather than pretending to be an incompetent underling.

But it's not just those bare basics that make him great, it's the little bits of thoughtfulness.

E.g. I'm terribly phobic of dentists and finally screwed up the courage to have my teeth assessed and begin treating the neglect.

I walked out of my first appointment to find him standing there in the rain with his arms open to me, holding a bottle of gin with a ribbon on it! He'd secretly booked a half-day holiday off work just in case I was feeling a bit shaky after facing a fear.

neverbeenskiing · 17/11/2024 12:48

My DH is the best person I know.

He's very thoughtful. I've had a tricky week at work so yesterday he surprised me with some flowers and a very nice bottle of wine. I work term time only and every summer he takes the kids away for a few days so that I can have a proper break. He will run me a bath or order my favourite takeaway, just because. We've been together 20 years, we have demanding jobs and 2 kids with SEN so life isn't always easy but he always finds time to make me feel special.

I've never had to mother him the way some of my friends have to with their partners. He's reliable, has never let me down, stays calm and takes charge in a crisis in a way that makes me feel very safe. He is also really funny, and finds joy in little things which encourages me to do the same as I can be quite cynical.

He is kind, patient and tolerant but also strong and will stand up for what's right. He also stands up for others and calls out sexism, racism or homophobia when he sees it which I find very attractive.

He's a brilliant Dad. Children just gravitate towards him and he loves being with the kids. He is a very involved and present Dad who does his share of sick days, appointments and school stuff although he works longer hours than me. Most importantly, he wants to do these things.

He is the sort of man who always notices and checks in on friends/colleagues if they don't seem quite themselves. He's a great listener, the sort of person that people open up to.

He's also really good in bed, which isn't the most important thing but given how clueless or selfish many men are in that department I don't take it for granted.

Daleksatemyshed · 17/11/2024 18:05

He cooks lovely meals, he shares the housework and he buys me lovely, lovely presents, and most importantly, he makes me laugh

Dontlletmedownbruce · 17/11/2024 18:13

My dh always stops to ask homeless people if they need anything. At restaurants he asks the staff if they will personally get a cut of the tip before he hands it over, he always feels sorry for the bicycle delivery guys when DS orders a takeaway and gives them a big tip. When he got a big bonus from work a few years ago he wanted to immediately give about half to charity. He is in a well paid job and while he enjoys his lifestyle he sees the luck he has and unfairness of life, and always tells my kids to be respectful to everyone. To me this is one of the most important qualities a person can have and part of what I love about him.

OrwellianTimes · 17/11/2024 18:18

DH is currently standing scrubbing mud off DS shoes (yet again). He’s done 3 loads of laundry today, bought dinner, and ironed kids school clothes. He also makes awesome coffee for me everyday.

PaganPollyanna · 17/11/2024 18:44

My husband looked after me through years of chronic pain from endometriosis, did everything for me for weeks after endo surgery twice, stood by me through 5 rounds of IVF and when we were arguing a lot under the pressure of it came to couples therapy with me to learn how to communicate healthily and understand my experience better. We got to a point where I didn't even have to explain why I was feeling a certain way he just knew.

When I was pregnant he looked after my horse for me for 9 months to protect me and our baby because I was high risk and to make sure I could keep my mare because he knows how much I love her. When baby was born he would give me two 4 hour chunks a week to go riding and be my old self with my mare and helped me with the heavy lifting around the stables while I got over my c section because he knows how happy it makes me and wanted to make sure I kept my happy place.

He helped me through breast feeding a tongue tied baby, exclusively pumping for months on end and he looks at our daughter with such love and devotion it makes me well up occasionally.

I have never felt so loved and safe in my life. He does 90% of the cooking because he is an amazing cook and my food is terrible. And whilst his house work is of a terrible quality he always thanks me for keeping our home clean and pleasant to live in.

He is funny, the most intelligent man I know, really respectful of women and all minorities that have a hard time in society. He tries to make the world a better place and he is the kindest person I know. I know everyone thinks auras are hippy woo woo shit but I've always said peoples souls have a colour that just resonates with them and he is the only person I have ever met that I envision as a white/gold gentle glow, just a pure warm soul.

He is my unicorn in the glade, a once in a lifetime beast you only see once. If I lose him one day I'm done no one could ever compare. It may be morbid but I hope I am fortunate enough to die first.

RinklyRomaine · 17/11/2024 18:49

What a nice thread. It's not all men, even if it is mostly men.

Mine is just a good man, a decent dad, someone I connect with all the time who treats us all like we are special. I'm
NEVER expected to fix everyone's problems, unlike previous rs. He puts most of his wages in my account, not because he's bad with money but because I don't work and he doesn't want me to feel financially dependent. He buys wonderful and thoughtful gifts, works extremely hard and yet is absolutely an equal parent. Not for me, but because being a big part of their lives is important to him. Even with me BFing and him working, he has always shared night wakings equally. After diabetic pregnancies, he supplied jam, scones, florentines and chocolate for my post labour snacks. He is wonderful to my friends and family even though he can be socially awkward because they are important to me. He enables my yarn / kitten addiction because it makes me happy. Every year he books something like the Warner Studios at Xmas and finds me interesting decorations because I'm a bit obsessed, even tho he finds it cringe.

On holiday once the receptionist came to our room to thank him because he'd bought snacks for two little kids who'd lost their money and were sad. He never mentioned it to us, and was a bit embarrassed, but that's him all over. Always.

Witchywoo41 · 17/11/2024 19:10

Mine brings me a cup of tea in bed every. Single. Morning!
He bought me a bag I liked today and went out to get me some wine when I realised I didn’t have any left and he knows a glass of wine on a Sunday is my favourite part of the week 🥂
he is a great dad, does more than his share in the house and drives me everywhere I want to go!
He does anything and everything he can to make my life easier everyday.
it makes me so sad reading some of the crap people put up with - when I share some of the threads with him he refuses to believe some men are so bad 🤣

MonkeyTennis34 · 18/11/2024 11:47

I'm on the way home from a Uni friends weekend away and he's done the washing, made the kids' packed lunches and sent me a text telling me how much he appreciates what I do at home.

Good for them to see what's entailed!

AutumnOcean · 18/11/2024 11:55

He's a good dad, he puts up with a lot of drama from my side of the family, he advocates for me (I have a chronic illness), he brings chocolate home from the shop just in case I need it, he cleans the cat litter, he's respectful, he always lets me watch my tv shows 😂 he's just a good one.

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