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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tell us why your male partner is lovely

121 replies

Brefugee · 17/11/2024 07:59

prompted by claims that MN is a viper's nest of misandry...

My DH is lovely. He took 18 months parental leave when our DC were small and has never ever shirked being a parent.

he has lots of other good points, but i thought I'd start the ball rolling

(he does tend to open a drawer to get something out, but then leave it open. We Have Words about this every week)

OP posts:
KezzaMucklowe · 17/11/2024 08:31

SilverBlueRabbit · 17/11/2024 08:27

Mine is lovely. He can be a bit grumpy but has a good soul and strong ethics. he believes in fairness and equality. He adores animals. He came from a rural area and used to be into hunting and shooting because everyone was but became an ethical vegetarian at the age of 60. He advocates for the vulnerable. He was a bit hopeless at the baby stage of the DCs but came into his own when they were about 6 and older. A few weeks before we got married he made an appointment with a solicitor and put me on the deeds of his house. (Which considering he had an awful first divorce where he was really taken to the cleaners I thought was something). He is funny and caring and sensitive. He has autism and our DS1 does too, so they happily putter along in their own little bubbles, but together and keep each other company. (Although DS is failing in his quest to get DH as much into Stranger Things as he is).

He is a very good man. His housekeeping abilities however are diabolically bad. But I'll take it anyway.

Also I would imagine you know the point of your own thread.

GiraffeTree · 17/11/2024 08:32

Mine is lovely! Kind and calm, hardworking, a great dad and he really respects me and wants to hear my opinions.

Brefugee · 17/11/2024 08:33

WeekendFreedom · 17/11/2024 08:31

We know no one is perfect but you’ve started a thread for positivity because of all the crap they get and then added a negative on it immediately. It defeats the whole point.
Why would I suggest LTB? I’m clearly saying let them have their moment of glory lol

give it a rest? you can scroll on by, no need to keep trying to pick a fight.

OP posts:
BeatriceBatchelor · 17/11/2024 08:33

He's a functioning human being who can cook better than me, shop, clean house, do laundry and uses his initiative. He's always been an equal parent to our DD.

He's got a strong work ethic and earns much more than me but it's always been our money even during my long period as a SAHM. I cringe when I read of women having to ask their DP/DH for money.

He is kind and supportive of our family, his friends, colleagues, randoms. If you know him then he's got your back.

He absolutely dotes of our grown up DD and he's set a high standard of what she should look for in a partner and father of her DC - should she choose to have some.

I like men as much as I like women.

NeedToChangeName · 17/11/2024 08:34

My DH is so easy to live with

Always says what he means and means what he said

I've learned lots from him about communication. He is quite direct, but always polite and respectful with it

And, if he says he'll meet you at 6pm, you absolutely know he will be there, on time, ready for whatever is planned

KezzaMucklowe · 17/11/2024 08:35

ssd · 17/11/2024 08:27

My dh is great too. As are our sons.

I always feel sorry for the man haters on mn as they obviously have never met a decent man

I have sons too and they're great. Really kind, considerate young men.
My brother and my Dad are lovely too.
I know there's loads of horrible people out there but it's not ALL men.

OneTipsyDreamer · 17/11/2024 08:35

My husband brings me a coffee in bed, with a good morning kiss, everyday. He always tells me how lovely I look. He does every morning school run (unless working away, not regular) he coaches both our sons football teams, he is an amazing dad and we both put the same effort into raising them. He is the one who knows their shoe size, which football/rugby kit they need and where their book bag is. He does all the ironing. We spend plenty of alone time togeher too and love each others company. We are such a great team, I couldn’t imagine being without him, he’s my best friend.

KezzaMucklowe · 17/11/2024 08:37

KezzaMucklowe · 17/11/2024 08:31

Also I would imagine you know the point of your own thread.

I've completely misquoted tge wrong person here Blush

financialcareerstuff · 17/11/2024 08:37

Showerflowers · 17/11/2024 08:16

My dh is just the best.

When I met him I was a single mum. I'd fled a horrible marriage and I was living in a house with no carpets and just our beds, cooker and fridge. I started work at a new place and he was at the factory next to mine. After a few weeks of small talk, then taking our lunch together we became firm friends. He did ask to be more but my dc needed me to focus on them. So for the next 2 years he came into our lives as a friend. He helped me build a decent home for my dc. Built furniture, laid carpet, we painted, gardened and made it nice. He was great with my dc and did homework, football, clubs etc with them. Then very suddenly my mum became unwell. She was an addict and I didn't have a good relationship with her but I felt I needed to help. She was sick for a week before she passed away and it was a very traumatic death. My dh was there for me all the way through. The day she died he took my dc to their other grandparents and then let me cry and rage. I couldn't sleep so he took me for a drive and I fell to sleep. I woke up when the car stopped and he got out and opened my door. Carried me out and down to a beach where we sat curled up in each other as the sun came up.

And that's where I fell in love.

25 years on and he's still the most caring and loving man. Utterly romantic. Puts everyone first. Hes happy if we are happy. He's our world. I was nothing when I met him. Just a shell. I was just surviving for my dc. But he gave me all of him and expected nothing in return.

This is so so beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. Brought tears to my eyes.

bifurCAT · 17/11/2024 08:38

He always makes tea for me when I'm working, and when he's away on business, he'll get a Starbucks delivery so I don't miss out.

Alwaystired23 · 17/11/2024 08:42

Showerflowers · 17/11/2024 08:16

My dh is just the best.

When I met him I was a single mum. I'd fled a horrible marriage and I was living in a house with no carpets and just our beds, cooker and fridge. I started work at a new place and he was at the factory next to mine. After a few weeks of small talk, then taking our lunch together we became firm friends. He did ask to be more but my dc needed me to focus on them. So for the next 2 years he came into our lives as a friend. He helped me build a decent home for my dc. Built furniture, laid carpet, we painted, gardened and made it nice. He was great with my dc and did homework, football, clubs etc with them. Then very suddenly my mum became unwell. She was an addict and I didn't have a good relationship with her but I felt I needed to help. She was sick for a week before she passed away and it was a very traumatic death. My dh was there for me all the way through. The day she died he took my dc to their other grandparents and then let me cry and rage. I couldn't sleep so he took me for a drive and I fell to sleep. I woke up when the car stopped and he got out and opened my door. Carried me out and down to a beach where we sat curled up in each other as the sun came up.

And that's where I fell in love.

25 years on and he's still the most caring and loving man. Utterly romantic. Puts everyone first. Hes happy if we are happy. He's our world. I was nothing when I met him. Just a shell. I was just surviving for my dc. But he gave me all of him and expected nothing in return.

Well, that brought a tear to my eye. What a lovely person your dh is.

Ophy83 · 17/11/2024 08:43

Despite my complaint about his dishwasher loading on a different thread, there are many many positives that outweigh the dishwasher issue, including but not limited to:

He brings me coffee in bed most mornings
He makes the children breakfast on school days to their very exacting requirements
He is a good dad
He is interesting to talk to
He is a wonderful cook
He is kind to his mum
He is kind to my mum.
He gets on really well with my family and friends generally
He is loyal and has lots of long standing friends of his own
He is generous
Silly dancing with him in the kitchen while drinking fizzy wine is one of my favourite things to do

KayVess · 17/11/2024 08:43

Mine appreciates me and what I do for all of us, as I do him. He is considerate, thoughtful, a great dad, and works hard both professionally and at home to make sure we have a lovely place to live.

He supports me with my work and my life, and is always good to talk out a thorny problem.

We are genuine partners in life. I wouldn’t be without him.

PermanentTemporary · 17/11/2024 08:45

My dp just makes my life better in every way. He walks towards things with his arms open, he's positive, optimistic, organised. He has passions but is also funny about them and has perspective. Generous, giving with time and money. Great conversationalist and the best lover I've ever had. Also fully capable of looking after himself, and me. It's really noticeable that his friends, workmates and family really love him too.

Mezzoprezzo · 17/11/2024 08:46

He makes me feel safe. No matter what's going on in my life, just one hug from him makes it feel like everything will be ok. My problems are his problems. He looks after my elderly parents like they were his own. He's just decent, kind and loving to the core.

ChocolateTelephone · 17/11/2024 08:48

Mine is genuinely the nicest and best person I know. He is so kind and calm and level headed. He has never once so much as snapped at me, he’s endlessly supportive, he puts me first in everything, he likes, loves and respects me, he’s thoughtful, he pulls his weight (and more) with our house and child.

I think the reason I’m so intolerant when I hear of other posters having horrible partners is because my husband is so wonderful, my standards are very high!

mynamechangemyrules · 17/11/2024 08:49

I have a terrible awful cruel ex husband who still torments us all on a daily basis and is fucking vile to his children.

BUT my sisters both have wonderful husbands and having them in my children's lives has helped them understand what a dad should be like, and just been a wonderful source of unconditional love for them (plus they both make lots of tea for me when I go round and they sort everything while I download the most recent shitshow to my sisters...)

I think they restored my faith in men tbh

Littleme2023 · 17/11/2024 08:49

If he sees a new chocolate bar that he knows I like he will always grab it from the shop for me. I get so excited when he digs around in his work bag telling me he’s got something for me 😂
He hunts down new prime drinks (I know they’re shite) for the boys because they want to try them all and get the bottles.
He is helpful around the house.
He gets up with the kids so I can have a big sleep at the weekend.
If I’m ever going out he always transfers money for a round of drinks for the girls or to cover lunch etc.
He loves his mum.
He loves my mum.
He makes me feel beautiful even when I feel like a sack of potatoes.
He makes me laugh until I think I’ll pass out every week without fail.
He sings and dances with me in the kitchen.

Caffeineneedednow · 17/11/2024 08:50

I was poorly yesterday with a suspected kidney infection. He bought me breakfast in bed and took the kids up to the shop to get me cranberry juice.
He put up all Christmas decorations around me with the kids while I sat on the sofa drinking tea, hugging my hot water bottle. He put them up early just because he knows how much I love Christmas and knew it would make me happy.

He's a really good dad and a caring partner. We're getting married next month and I can't wait to call him my husband.

Moonlightstars · 17/11/2024 08:50

WeekendFreedom · 17/11/2024 08:23

(he does tend to open a drawer to get something out, but then leave it open. We Have Words about this every week)

You should have left this bit out, you started a thread to praise DHs because of “claims that MN is a viper's nest” and then couldn’t help just adding a flaw. Which is exactly the point of the whole thread to say nice things, good points and avoid the negative

Come on it was pretty light-hearted!

Calamitousness · 17/11/2024 08:51

ive got the best one. I knew we’d get married after about two or three weeks of knowing him. It was a couple of years later but I had never met anyone like him. No game playing. Total loyalty and love from the very start. Everything he does is for me and then our kids. I’m first in his thoughts, if either one of us are dividing pudding we give each other the biggest portion. He has always had significantly more money than me but has always had a shared account with me, from very early days in going out together so that I had everything I needed if he was away on business etc. That’s not why I love him but it’s just an example of his compete and utter commitment and openness. I fell in love with him because he is funny and handsome. He makes me laugh still even 20+ years later and I still fancy him. He’s fit.

Penguinsmum · 17/11/2024 08:51

He accepts me just as I am and shows he loves me with his actions not only words.

BeatriceBatchelor · 17/11/2024 08:51

My dp just makes my life better in every way. He walks towards things with his arms open ...

What an absolutely lovely way to describe someone.

financialcareerstuff · 17/11/2024 08:52

It's amazing how the little things matter. The number of coffees in bed! I agree. I am sitting with mine, feeling happy and grateful.

My DH has a generosity of spirit that means he always reacts to a request with warmth and willingness. Makes me feel loved everyday.

He is also a remarkable person- making positive change happen in the world - especially for women. I feel loved for everything he does within the house and very proud of him for what he does beyond our house.

WonderingWanda · 17/11/2024 08:52

He is always kind and never cruel. He is encouraging and never controlling. He is hardworking and reliable. He's an amazing father. He doesn't shout, drink in excess, take drugs etc. He is incredibly clever and very skilled in lots of things but also very humble, doesn't brag or show off. He has similar views to me on world issues. He isn't know it all, he probably does know it all but never insists he knows better. He treats me as his equal in all decisions and in life. He's always there for me if I'm struggling and need support. He's caring and thoughtful.

Of course, he does snore, leave socks on the floor, leaves doors wide open so the heat escapes etc so isn't without fault....same as the rest of us but I can live with all of that because he is a genuinely lovely man.

I grew up in a home with an abusive, full of his own self importance, opinionated alcoholic who was unreliable in every way df and so am instantly turned off by lots of the grandstanding (often hiding a wealth of insufficiency) that I see other women attracted to. I think that's how I ended up with such a lovely husband.