Should DD20 BF of offered to get her takeaway or AIBU

[ML5]

Not sure if I am being unreasonable here
DD20 bf and his sister got themselves takeaway tonight and her bf didn’t offer to get her anything (just to add DD has paid for him before) they are going out to his family house and I told her if she’s hungry to let them know there.
AIBU that maybe her bf should have offered since she’s paid for him before or AIBU in my thinking?

Was DD there when they ordered it?
If not, no I wouldn't expect them to.

If she was, why didn't she speak up?

Most crucially, why are you getting involved in this?

Perhaps they thought she'd already eaten at home. If she's hungry she can say something can't she? How old is she?

Surely she can speak up for herself, if she is hungry when she gets their house.

Well DD messaged me they getting takeaway and I have no money for one

Can't she just say I don't have any money can you sub me? I'd be concerned this is all a lie to get money for drugs

Surely she can deal with this herself?

Does she have no money herself for one?

If he had the money he should have bought her one or if not, shared his.

What?

Fucking hell talk about jumping the gun!

Sure he should’ve offered but I’m a bit baffled that you’re this invested that you’ve started a thread about it 😂 I find it bizarre that your daughter, at twenty, text you about it anyway. Why on earth would paying for it fall to you, they’re grown adults!

Yes he should have offered to get her something, especially if she told him she had no money.

I do think you’re being a little bit unreasonable to be so invested in this though, she’s an adult.

She’s an adult, why does she have no money? Does she often “have no money”? Yes, in a relationship one partner should help the other out with things like this, but it’s very easy to become frustrated about it if it’s habitual.

She should leave the house without access to some money. They should have offered her some takeaway. She should have spoken up.

I mean you don't need to be involved but yes, he's a shit boyfriend and your daughter should put him in the bin. Advise her not to waste anymore time on this one, he's inconsiderate and tight-not qualities that are desirable.

Did she have no money or did she not have the budget for a takeaway? Entirely different scenarios. The first is a safety issue and you need to talk to her about it.

then talk to her about the wisdom of having a boyfriend who would eat in front of her without making sure she was taken of. Decent people don’t just tuck into a meal in front of guests.

What? 😂

She's 20, she's old enough to be married, have a child of her own, live independently from her parents.....

At 20, she should be earning her own money now to buy a takeaway or whatever else she sees fit. If she's got no money or doesn't want to spend what she has on that, that's on her, not you.

Likewise, if she's skint and her BF knows that but hasn't offered to get her anything despite her buying him takeaways previously then yeah, he sounds like a bit of a sh*t, but she should be able to tell him that herself.

Other than giving general life advice, I can't see any reason why you would be getting involved

If she is in BF house and he ordered takeaway for himself and sister and didn't ask if she wanted anything he isn't a very nice BF. But why your adult daughter is texting you to tell you this and why you are writing a thread about it is beyond me.

She was with him and he ordered takeaway and didn't offer?? 🚩

Eh? 🤣

The concerning thing about this is she chose to tell you and not him about this. The only thing you should be advising your adult daughter is to talk through her issues with her bf.

Jesus Christ you must’ve pulled a muscle with that stretch!

Because its nice that OPs DD is close to her Mum and recognises a situation where her partner has been rude and made her feel awful. OP is now asking our opinion as that's what these forums are for, is it not?