If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

[stressedoutstudent]

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

Sorry, I get annoyed when I see posts that have been previously answered, reanswered with existing answer! But you cannot be expected to read the whole thread, perhaps thousands of answers before making a suggestion. The original poster must be the one to read everything, and if duplicate answers have been made, sorry in advance. AI could check, but if you are told your answer is a duplicate, eventually the number of posts would drop. Mums net wouldn’t want a fall in interactions..

@stressedoutstudent Your eldest will be entitled to PIP it doesn’t matter if he works he is still entitled to it as they have a recognised disability. (My son is 21 and is autistic). He should also claim UC disabled payment. Do any of your other teens have caring responsibilities towards him? If so then that can perhaps claim Carers allowance. Hope this helps a bit x

If you are considering a moped, also factor in your CBT (compulsory basic training) - it's a day at a bike school to train you on your moped/scooter for basic riding. I'm not sure of the cost these days, as I passed my bike test 10 years ago, but you'd probably be looking at £100 - £150 where I live in the north. Also a decent bike helmet, jacket, gloves, overtrousers, boots will set you back about £300 - £500. You will need them if you're travelling in all weathers and being warm and dry makes all the difference.

Can you reduce shifts and go for Bank nursing? My friend earns more than double for this. X

Some specifics: second adult Council Tax rebate - some Councils offer a reduction in Council tax when the second adult in the house is on a low income.

If your eldest is autistic he may fall within the "learning difficulties" criterion for a disabled person's bus pass, which wouldn't save on his travel costs. (He may not, if he's reasonably able, but worth looking at).

Your Trade Union may have help available.

Cycling may be an option for the summer, even if unrealistic in the winter. A folding bike would give you the option to cycle to work and get a taxi home (but yes, upfront cost).

Have only read the OPs posts
But blimey, you’ve been wildly misunderstood on here! Reading comprehension is lacking today I see!

Just want to say you sound like an incredible mom to your one adult and two nearly adult children. They don’t sound at all neglected!
And I read through your posts to see if anyone else had suggested getting a moped but I see you’re already looking in to that

If you pay for utilities by direct debit have you checked if you have built up any credit there?

You need to be aware that bills can be higher in winter so you'd expect to have a credit with the electricity company now, but it might help a bit in your situation to be paying larger amounts each month and have any credit offsetting your overdraft and reducing the interest you're charged rather than smaller monthly bills, a larger overdraft and a credit you're not getting interest on. Water bills tend to be more consistent through the year so any credit there shouldn't affect monthly payments as much.

@PiggyPigalle only if she passed her car test before 1st Feb 2001. If she passed after that she still needs to do a CBT to ride a 50cc.

I just wanted to say OP that I think you are amazing! You have managed to bring up 3 responsible, well adjusted and hard working young people completely on your own.

Add to this the job that you do in a&e for such a ridiculously low wage, I think you deserve a medal.

Your plan to borrow from your parents to buy a moped seems very sensible & hopefully should slash your travel costs.

I wish you all the best and hope you achieve your dream job very soon ❤️

UC is deducted 55p for every £1 earned, and you could also claim PIP for your son. You can claim online. You can get a bus pass for your children and speak with the LA about getting one.

Doing the WFH role would mean no expenditure on taxis, you can cut down on your hours and get a UC top-up. You would be home for your children, no nightshifts, no working weekends, or Bank Holidays, Flexi-Time, and you can join the fast stream within the DWP and work your way up to higher paid roles much faster than you can now. You can only join the fast stream with a degree.

The moral aspect - You cannot fail those whom are evidently disabled/sick/vulnerable. Not applying because of some presumed moral ethics code you've thought up, is only going to make you and your children suffer in the long run. I would be against my children staying home alone for so many hours and days, glued to the TV etc instead of going out with friends and getting much needed exercise and socialising. - That should be more important to you. You cannot rescue everyone - I learned that the hard way, and nobody cares if you're a martyr. You need to look after #1.

Definitely pause your pension contributions temporarily. I did this when I first started working at my trust when completely skint. It made such a difference to have that additional amount in my pay check. When I contacted NHS pensions they asked if I would like the amount I had previously contributed (only a few months worth at that point) reimbursed. This made a HUGE difference too as it was a lump sum. At my age now I would do everything in my power to keep my pension contributions up but at the time it made such a difference and it was only for a year then I re-enrolled on a much firmer footing. Good luck and thanks for all you do!

Move to Wales where your college student will be entitled to EMA if you fall within the income threshold.

You need to stop spending money on taxis as soon as poss. £255 a month is £3,060 a year. A moped or bike isn't practical all the time, so you need a car.

Buy one for £1,200 lets say..insurance £500 lets say...repairs, mot, etc 250 lets say, and petrol £600 a year, with parking at £420 a year.

So the first year you spend £2,970 in total...but in the second year you'll save the cost of the car (£1,200) and the insurance should come down a bit too meaning you're saving over £100 a month every month!

You dont mention if your child who is autistic claims DLA or PIP if they’re over age 16? Care and mobility components available there.

Sorry if already mentioned but I’ve found Vinted brilliant for making money from clothes and shoes. All done on the app and no cost to you other than a pack of self seal posting envelopes.

Same for FB marketplace for literally anything. I’ve managed £20/£35 a week on selling things. I have one collection slot a week so it doesn’t take up all my time.
It’s not a long term fix but it’s a quick way to make immediate cash.

Your DC could also help with this easily.

Sorry your in this situation. I hope you get sorted. x

Only suggestions I can find are
*Two grant schemes for living costs given via local authority.
*Cycle to work scheme (can include e-bikes)
*Maybe can claim some tax back from taxi fares(not too sure of this one)
*make an eBay account to sell anything you no longer need to help get rid of debt (time consuming so maybe a DS could help).
Good luck

OP says she has only come across one colleague but has she asked around or put up a notice.

Its a bit old school buy I think we have to swallow our pride sometimes.

It's really hard to lift share with NHS shift patterns to be honest , we have a matching scheme at work , but shift lengths vary and start and finish times and even though at one point me, DH and FS were working in the same hospital last year we hardly ever managed to share . Mostly due to people be delayed leaving and the other person gets fed up waiting an hour after their shift to leave

Just on the PIP issue for your eldest OP when you actually break it down you may find that with the support you give your son that you may pick up 8 points in the daily living section. Particularly in numbers 3 and 8-10 if you have to support with time management, taking medication, communication, reading, social engagement and budgeting. Also possibly in mobility (number 11) if he needs help planning the route of a journey or support if going on an unfamiliar journey.

https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/pip-test-form

https://www.rightsnet.org.uk/forums/viewthread/20116/#94607

If it gets rejected then doing a mandatory reconsideration and if that fails going to tribunal is worth it as many people are ultimately successful at tribunal having been rejected at all previous stages.

OP has answered this. Also as he is over 18, it’s up to him to claim and his money, not OPs or household money.

OP I think you have clearly thought things through and set up your job and home life to suit the needs of your family. I’m sorry that you are struggling so much but it sounds like things will get better as you move up the ranks at work and as the children get more independent. It sounds like you’ll see the kids less if you worked the day shift, as well as (presumably) earning less, and it’s great to be in a ‘dream job’ with good promotion prospects. Your taxi costs don’t seem too high to me as it’s around the same as my monthly costs on public transport for 12 miles each way - but if you can cut costs with a moped, and you are comfortable doing this, good for you!

As someone who has spent half the night in A&E with a parent, can I also say thank you for what you do.

Any nursing homes nearer home? You could consider a management role but also they always need nurses.
what about a assessing ( for diplomas) often can be done at home and part time/ ad hoc. They would train you and would be really happy that you’re a nurse.
what about a moped for transport ? You just need to do CBT.

I’ve been thinking about you and your predicament for a couple of days. First of all you should be so proud of what you’ve achieved. Raising three children who sound resilient, responsible and grounded. Plus you’ve gone back into training and qualified as a nurse. You sound like you’ve had virtually no support. You are doing such a vital job. So👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 to you.
The next thing to remember is that this won’t last forever. Your circumstances will improve. The kids will get older and more independent and you will progress in your career. I think you will do this quite quickly.
The question that hadn’t been answered is how much more money do you need a month? Have you worked out a budget? If not that should be step one.
You might be able to find this fairly easily.I’d tackle this as if it were an challenge. Start with the following in this order. Most importantly remember there is no shame to the situation you find yourself in. The shame is all your former partner’s.

1. Contact the children’s father and explain that they are suffering through his behaviour. Appeal to his better nature if he has one. Give him the opportunity to pay for his kids. If this is not possible then
2. Contact the paternal grandparents and explain their DGC are suffering because their father has abnegated his responsibilities to them. If they were my DCG I’d want to know. Show them what he owes in arrears. Ask if they can make up all or some of this money. If this is not possible then
3. Contact CSA again and see if there have been any changes that would allow them to pursue the DC’s father for more support.
4. Sit down with an expert on the benefit system and check you are getting everything you are entitled to. The NHS may have somewhere you can go to for advice. Check out Citizens Advice Bureau and MoneySupermarket.com. Find someone who can advise you for free. Don’t take a pension holiday without assessing the risks.
5. contact all the nurses’ hardship funds that have been linked on this thread. Ask if you meet the criteria. There may be one-off grants for travel or individual purchases.
6. Contact your local authority. Ask about a council tax reduction. Tell them you have three children and are struggling. Ask about hardship funds, one-off grants and support for DS1. Be persistent.
7. See what support is available for DS1. Ask at his college and at the clinic which gave him his diagnosis. Ask GP’s surgery about access to food banks. Even if it is just a month or so in the run up to Christmas, it could be a lifeline. Food banks often do gifts for DC at Christmas.
8. Do a detailed budget of everything you have spent and all income over the last six months. Is there any unnecessary spends? Anything you have overlooked?
9. Look at the subscriptions. I know they are not much and they are essential to the smooth running of your household but are they all used equally? Is there a bundle or deal you could access. If you threaten to leave most will give you a deal or a month free. Could help with Christmas. If they had to lose one, which would it be. Set the DCs on this.
10. Approach your parents. Explain the situation to them. Ask for a long-term interest-free loan. I would do this in a heartbeat for my DCs and would want to know if they were struggling. Use the money to pay off any high-interest debt that you can. Put a little aside for DCs Christmas. Use the bulk to buy a car. Not a moped. You are not Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. It is cold, wet and dark out there. A car is by far and away the most sensible option. You already have your driver’s licence. You will pick it back up again quickly. Get a relative to go with you or book a couple of brush up lessons. This is a confidence issue. You may be able to use a car to help your finances in the future (driving is a useful skill -you might work in the community). You can use it to ferry kids around and take occasional trips. You can use it to move kids into halls etc if necessary. If you work night shifts you won’t be paying £35 a day parking, will you? You may find roads around the hospital much quieter at that time of night and be able to park for free. Do not under any circumstances buy a moped until you have spent a month travelling to work and back on a hired one. You will end up back in the taxis. The temptation on a wet day will be too much. After all, we’d all love to be chauffeured to work and back. The bulk of your extra cash will come from taxi savings
11. Explain circumstances to kids. Make it a challenge to find as much interesting stuff for free. (There are usually local FB pages with upcycling/ free stuff etc) Get them to do Vinted/EBay. Ask them to come up with ten ideas for making money beyond the paper round (offering to make TikTok content for local businesses etc) You’ll be amazed with what they suggest. Majke it clear all ideas have to be legal, safe and run by you first.
12. Ask occupational health about suitable footwear and any grants for this. Your feet matter. The issue is not your low wage. You were a student a year ago. The issue is you are wholly responsible for four adults or near adults with no help or support. Few jobs would support this. You are already doing amazing things. I know there will be points in my post that you have already considered and discarded for good reason. And I don’t mean to be patronising in any way. But this is how I would approach it. Many people go through a period of poverty. It is nothing to be ashamed of and most friends or relatives would want the opportunity to rally round. Good luck.

A minor side note, as it would have such a minimal impact, but we are on the £4.99 basic netflix plan. We figured we would try it for a bit and upgrade if ads got too bad. There are honestly hardly any ads, I was seriously expecting it to be so much worse!
Sounds like you're doing a wonderful job for your children, good luck. Hopefully the moped plan will work out for you, so that things can improve more long term for you all. It also seems like your children would be very understanding about not having much at Christmas?

Could you get a job as a career start practice nurse at a more local GP surgery that you could walk to. Alternatively there are remote clinical advisors for 111 where you could work from home (you may have to travel for training however inky a few weeks). Good luck.