To be annoyed child got no part in school play

[Honeybeebuzz]

Child is in Year 1, they do their play with the reception class too. Last year he didn't get a part but we were told it's because most parts go to the Year 1s. Just found out he's not got a part again, just chorus. Its a small school so most do and im not sure why he didn't. He's generally well behaved, confident and doing well academically so not like he couldn't manage a line or two. Just feel a bit sad for him as he's chatting away about the parts his friends got. There's nothing I can do really and im obviously not showing him im annoyed

OMG. Entitled much?

Not every kid gets a speaking part and unfortunately yours didn’t. There aren’t enough speaking parts and some kids had to be left out of them. Why is your kid more special than the others? They may have drawn names out of a hat for all you know. Stop helicopter parenting.

Heaven help you when he tried out for a team and doesn’t make it.

Thats life. Not everyone gets a part.

There’s definitely favouritism going on in some schools, especially if it’s a faith school.

I was always grateful that mine didn’t get chosen as it would mean more effort with a costume and as I CAN sew, I didn’t want to get lumbered in future years with making and repairing the other costumes, so kept quiet. 😂

I only went to town in his final year when he was in the chorus (again) and required to wear a Christmas jumper. I sewed battery operated sparkly lights onto a rather good Christmas tree that I’d appliquéd onto the jumper with some added embroidery.

It did look impressive and I think the Head realised she’d missed a trick when she saw it. 😂

Nailed it. Brilliant response.

I might be disappointed but I really don’t think this is something to get annoyed about.

If he was very keen and wanted a talking part I’m sure he’d have been given one. Maybe he wasn’t keen on the day.

if he does like that sort of thing maybe see about Saturday drama classes instead?

My dd never got chosen to be anything at all other than a random angel or one of many placard-holding bystanders, and was entirely ignored through the years at end-of-term assemblies and the like as well.

By the time she got to the end of year 3 and it happened once again, much to her frustration, I took the deputy head to one side and asked them why. I told her that certain children were always chosen for main parts year after year, and how was that fair, and it was looking like blatant favouritism on the part of the teachers towards kids whose parents were in the PSA or who worked part-time at the school. She obviously looked into it, because the following year there was something of a shake-up.

So sometimes I think you do need to say something, not just on behalf of your own child, but for the other quiet well-behaved ones who are also perpetually overlooked.

It’s not hard to add an extra line or two.

Passing villager: I’ve heard all the inns are booked up already.
Passing donkey: gerroff, you’re standing on my carrot!
Passing woman: oh that poor girl does look upset. I hope she soon finds a room.

Even if it is too late for this time, I would still have a word with the teacher. In my son's school they ask the children "who wants a speaking part?" and the same four children who are quick on the draw get the parts, and the rest have "chosen" to be in the background. It is lazy and means most of the children are bored by plays. I always ask for my son to be given something to say or do, just to stop him zoning out, which many children visibly do.

I feel for you op. My well behaved confident kids never got parts either. And even in the choir they were put at the back and the disengaged ones or the criers always at the front in pole position! Why?

I guess because for primary teachers it’s just another job of herding kittens and they don’t give a shit about the good robust kids who they can ignore because they’ve got enough on their plate looking out for those who need the extra support. I get it, I do.

But as a parent, if your child hasn't said a peep all year, and this is the one thing that upsets them and makes them feel less valued and demotivated then it’s hurtful. I don’t know what you do though. Because talking to the teacher doesn’t always go well either… again, if you’re an easy-going supportive parent, it’s easy to ignore you too.

YANBU 💐

DD refused a part in the school nativity because she wasn't allowed to wear her brother's transformers costume.

I can't believe you're actually worried about this tbh. By all means have a word with the teacher if you want to be labelled 'that' parent.

I remember doing this one year, I was into singing and wanted to be one of the small choir parts. My teacher had me down as narrator, so she was pissed off when I still chose choir.

Yes, that's right, the teachers 'don't give a shit'. 🙄

I am a former teacher myself - I meant in the context of the ‘herding kittens’ during a nativity. I didn’t mean generally.

How big is your nativity?
Mary + Joseph
3 kings
Maybe 4 inn keepers
A donkey and an ass - don't say much
5-6 shepherds
angels - but only one really speaks
That's 16 - Even adding a few other people to see Jesus and such, getting speaking parts for 30 year 2, maybe 60 if it's a 2 form entry school is going to require a very long and convoluted story line.

That's a shame. Maybe it is a very small handful with speaking parts. If it is something he's interested in, have a look into local drama groups.

The teacher probably doesn't like him or he's a grey rock in the class and doesn't get noticed.

I think if it bothers you and you think he would benefit from having speaking parts in plays you should put him in a drama club.

It really doesn't matter, he is 5. I remember DS's dad being bothered he didn't get a part. I said do you want to be the parent who gets upset their child is a spider (or whatever he was..)

Is your child very disappointed? If not, I would leave it. The chorus is important to the play, it's no insult to be in it.

I think you can raise it and be pushy or you can stay silent and not be pushy.

If it were me I would first check whether my child was actually bothered about not having a speaking part or not. If yes, I'd say something much more direct, like, "Billy is really disappointed not to have been given a speaking part and we were wondering why he has been overlooked. This is his second year in a row without a speaking part when we know at least one child has had a speaking part both years. What was the thought process behind this?"

Most nativity plays are not as they used to be, my DS was in three and played the following roles angel (chorus), present (chorus) and his only speaking role, a banker 😂

I’m so glad my kids’ school don’t do a Christmas play. They do a group concert so there’s no favouritism or drama.

I still remember being pissed off that I was always one of the narrators, I was desperate to be an angel! 😆

@Kool4katz primary school teachers have explained in other threads they try to choose the most reliable and confident speakers.

Oh and at my DD's CofE school most of the parents are of no faith, Muslim and Catholic in that order.

Oh this made me LAUGH 😂

Perhaps the child who has had a speaking part two years in a row?