Are men disposable?

[BigFishLittleFish10]

My husband believes that men are disposable.

His views -

Men are f&@!ed over after a divorce and the woman end up with everything/custody of the children.

Men are used by society, worked to death then disposed of when society is finished with them.

Male suicide is an epidemic and society seeing men as disposable is one of the reasons.

Women and Mothers are cherished. Men are thrown away.

He’s made reference to women and children first on the Titanic and how the men were left to die.

Men dying in wars etc.

He refuses to believe that women face death, sexual assaults and violence in romantic relationships more than men face violence at the hands of their partners.

Believes that men have harder lives than women.

This week our son had a medical issue and I knew (gut instinct) that he wasn’t right and needed attention. I mentioned “Mothers intuition” and that riled him up - “Dads don’t matter then!”

He essentially has a chip on his shoulder about the issue.

I’ll be leaving the marriage eventually (other issues) but just wondering what everyone’s views are on this topic? Thanks.

Oh, I can see from what your husband said, I took "disposable" differently.
Sorry. 😂

Men have been disposing of women as possessions since time immemorial. women were sold in marriage along with a dowry. Men have dominated the female race who until relatively recent years could not get a loan, vote, get an education, play football, & marital rape as a crime was a legal reality in 1991.

Men, usually working-class men are used as disposable both in many kinds of jobs, and also in wars. However, the flaw in his thinking is that because he's identified a way that men have been badly treated, it means that somehow women have had it easy. That's some crazy false logic. So yes, it's fine to identify that, and want it changed, but there's no need to dismiss the obvious mistreatment and challenges that others have to do so.

As others have said, it is more of a class thing than a sex thing - it's predominantly working class, men and women that have used as fodder over the years. It's why I also don't buy in to the 'yes some men have it tough, but who made the society that does it to them' argument - it's rich and powerful men that did that, not the working class.

"how women have been viewed as inferior to men in history etc."... not much has changed.

https://theconversation.com/we-studied-309-544-patent-applications-and-found-inventing-is-still-a-mans-world-188600

We studied 309,544 patent applications – and found inventing is still a man’s world

"Are women as successful as men in securing a patent for their invention?

We set out to investigate gender bias in patent outcomes at IP Australia – the government agency responsible for administering intellectual property rights.
To do so, we analysed 309,544 patent applications from across a 15-year period (2001-2015), and categorised close to one million inventors’ names based on whether they sounded male or female.

We found that having a male-sounding first name increases the odds of securing a patent. This gender bias can have serious implications for women’s health, female career progression and equity policies in STEM."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Very few inventions have been female, and that in part is due to the belief females lacked the intelligence and innovation to come up with one. While males have higher IQs at the extreme ends (hence geniuses are overwhelmingly male (and have exclusively been chess champions), as are most inmbeciles), the overall average IQ is the same as more females rank in the middle.

Less likely to be granted a patent today is an extension of the view of women being less capable (even women writing a book has been questioned, such as Mary Shelley and Frankenstein as it was deemed implausible she could have come up with that idea so critics believed (and some still do) that Percy wrote it.

There’s something in this.

overall I don’t think he’s totally wrong. He may be expressing it badly and in danger of heading down a rabbit hole but there’s some truth to it.

responses like the majority on this thread are part of the problem. Sneery, dismissive, insulting.

Haven’t read the whole thread
but women and children are more affected by conflict and war
studied and stats show this

I knew a couple of men who killed themselves they threatened it often one would regularly stand on top of the multistory carpark threatening to jump ringing women to "talk him down" I was his ex mother of his daughter they seriously expected me to pack the "baby" in the pram and run down there to stop him they were not expecting me to call the police the (male if it matters) police were not expecting me to say no to them when they asked me to do the same I refuse to take responsibility if someone lives or dies by their own hand

Another took an overdose expecting his girlfriend to come over and save him on a night she thought he might need space and stayed away because they argued

So the suicide statistics in my mind are skewed by my personal experience of manipulation

OP, no point even engaging with someone as brainless as your husband
sorry you’re having to endure this

My lovely husband started saying things like this a few years ago. It became more and more extreme and he's now a STBXH. His aggression increased towards me and anyone he felt was doing better than him. I never worked out where he was getting these ideas from, but they consumed him until he was a changed person.

I tried to discuss it with him but he was in so deep there was no nuance anymore.

Please take care of you and your kids.

But it's men choosing to make men disposable. Men choose to send men to wars. Men choose to save women and children first.

That still doesn’t make it correct

Yes I do think it’s harder to be a man. Not that life is objectively harder at all. Just that they are wired to compete and constantly seek status. Feel anger. Get sexually frustrated.
It’s not women’s fault though. We are sick of being support humans for them. Many of us have decided to not risk taking another one on because for men to be happy women often need to take a back seat.

Incels’ perfect woman is very young. Submissive. Adoring. Has no opinions. Puts her man first in every way. He’s angry he doesn’t have that and guess whose fault it is…

So happy to live in a time where we have other options. Hope it lasts!

If you want a recent example just look at the Gisele Pelicot case. 70 men were happy to rape an unconscious women at the invitation of her husband. He treated her as an object to be used by strangers.

i doubt this is an isolated case either.

I wouldn't engage with his "points" at all or bother arguing. Sounds like he's parroting nonsense from incel videos on YouTube. Sad little angry men who need to blame women for their issues because they can't take responsibility.

I don't think this is a 'man' thing it's just behaviour of disturbed people. A colleagues daughter was in the habit of taking an overdose when she'd had an argument or falling out, she'd then tell her mum so she'd take her to hospital. Same with a friends sister, take an OD and then seek help.
Perhaps they need to feel someone cares.

I do feel for the men who wouldn't go to war having white feathers thrown at them by women.

This is quite scary. I spent time watching too many of these idiots out of curiosity and it's terrifying what they espouse. He probably follows the like if Andrew Wilson and his ilk. They really do want a Gilead like society.
I'd be conscious what he is saying to your kids.

By the same token, social acceptablilty factors mean that physically abused men are less likely to report unless extremely serious such as highlighted in the recent documentary, My Wife, my abuser, helping slant the stats in favour of women. Moreover, had the man in the documentary not had lengthy video evidence, he would never have been believed by the police. Which is another factor at play when it comes to female perpetrators, not getting convicted.

Hope you told him to get over himself and not to be such a dipstick.

1. Women are usually poorer after divorce. Men are usually better off.
2. If women and mothers are cherished, why is childcare so expensive? Why are companies so unwilling to be flexible in terms of work? Why are good part time jobs so hard to find, and job sharing so often refused? Why do many single female led households live in poverty? Why is the gender pay gap so large? Why is the gender healthcare gap so large? Etc.
3. Women were seen as too weak to fight, and actually, a lot of women and children die on the frontlines, just as civilian casualties rather than active combatants. Also it was not ‘women and children’ first off on the Titanic, that has been shown to be a myth. Wealthy men were prioritised for places on the lifeboats ahead of poorer women and children.
4. Of course some men face abuse from female partners. But most domestic abuse, directed at both men and women, is perpetuated by men.
5. Referencing ‘mother’s intuition’ doesn’t mean dads don’t matter. That’s a stupid thing to suggest. It’s like the ‘all lives matter’ guff. What it means is that mothers often spend more time observing the child, perhaps due to longer parental leave usually being taken by the mother, meaning they may well have a better idea of when something isn’t quite right.
6. Limited sexism towards men absolutely exists, and isn’t ok. It doesn’t negate the fact that more sexism exists against women.

When I watched this I was absolutely appalled. It would have actually been used against a woman though, for allowing her kids to remain in a violent atmosphere with an abuser. People didn't talk about that and how when a woman carries on living with a violent partner their kids are removed. This guy got custody despite only going to get help when his friend filmed it after years. It was shocking but very different to how the majority of female victims are treated.

Everyone and everything is disposable ..look at us,when the time comes we go and everything carries on regardless ...