Are men disposable?

[BigFishLittleFish10]

My husband believes that men are disposable.

His views -

Men are f&@!ed over after a divorce and the woman end up with everything/custody of the children.

Men are used by society, worked to death then disposed of when society is finished with them.

Male suicide is an epidemic and society seeing men as disposable is one of the reasons.

Women and Mothers are cherished. Men are thrown away.

He’s made reference to women and children first on the Titanic and how the men were left to die.

Men dying in wars etc.

He refuses to believe that women face death, sexual assaults and violence in romantic relationships more than men face violence at the hands of their partners.

Believes that men have harder lives than women.

This week our son had a medical issue and I knew (gut instinct) that he wasn’t right and needed attention. I mentioned “Mothers intuition” and that riled him up - “Dads don’t matter then!”

He essentially has a chip on his shoulder about the issue.

I’ll be leaving the marriage eventually (other issues) but just wondering what everyone’s views are on this topic? Thanks.

Nobody said it was.

But perhaps men should help other men to fix the problems men have created rather than feeling sorry for themselves and trying to blame women for the mess they've made.

He doesn't have a chip on his shoulder he just hates women.

He's just one of many angry, bitter men up and down the country. His views are idiotic and not worth arguing against because they aren't based on rationale thought

My only concern is your sons. I would be worried that your sons will pick up on their fathers hatred and anger. I would try to impress on them that their fathers views are not a reflection of the truth

The Titanic argument is actually an example of benevolent sexism, which is a form of sexism that appears positive but is actually damaging to gender equality and keeps women in their place in other respects.

Actually he’s right about the Titanic. Full stats here- https://www.shiftcomm.com/thinking/never-let-go-titanic-survival-101 (relevant part- “Turns out, the blockbuster hit was right in terms of women getting on the lifeboats first. Women had a much higher chance of survival — regardless of what class they were in — than men did. Of the 466 women on board, 339 survived. Of the 843 men on board, only 161 survived — a measly 19% compared to the 73% of women who made it safely back to shore.”)

(He still sounds like an idiot though, especially on not believing that women face more violence from their partners than men.)

No of course it's not right that anyone should die in wars. But men weren't sent to war because the government considered men disposable and women precious.

Wars are overwhelmingly started by men. The decision to send men to war was made by men. It's not women's fault

Genuinely, if he is saying all of that to you with a straight face and actually means it then either he's been brainwashed by manosphere morons in which case I doubt you'll wish to remain married, or he is severely intellectually challenged and incapable of understanding factual data, or if he is usually a normal, functioning human being and this is a sudden change then he must be having a severe mental health crisis and should see a doctor asap.

The name Andrew Tate also came immediately to my mind.

Some men do actually like fighting. That's why we have wars. Women and children are hugely affected by male violence, it's ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

Male suicide is an epidemic and society seeing men as disposable is one of the reasons.

It’s more to do with the actual patriarchy that refuses to allow men to talk about their feelings because it once was seen as being weak or being gay et cetera stupid but there we go. So they taught that men can’t cry. It’s only recently that men are expressing their views but again you’ve got right wing twats that will call them pussies or Beta men. So blame men you tell him that so they bottle things up they hide things they feel like they can’t talk about their problems

no just a general hope that fathers will disappear when a relationship ends, that’s just my opinion not asking for you to agree.

Op take a close look at the crap you husband is engaging with online. This has Andrew rate and the likes all over it.

From an evolutionary point of view, yes, to a point they are. I mean, if a group of nomadic people are covering great distances and trying to find enough to eat during the last ice age, it's much more important that the women make through the winter in large numbers than that the men do. A quick look at the relative survival rates of men and women in famines, and women's greater average life expectancy more generally, does seem to support the idea that women are more robust because they are less disposable.
But perhaps this isn't what your husband meant....

If society sees men as disposable, why do men have and maintain powerful positions? Surely that means they are valued more than women?

Men are f&@!ed over after a divorce and the woman end up with everything/custody of the children.
Well, this is simply not true. I was reading a post on here yesterday where a poor woman is stuck abroad and the lawyer is saying her husband is might hide the assets so he doesn’t have to pay the proper money so women do get fucked over by divorces as well

You married him.

Oh my god this just reminded me of when I was working in customer service. I was spelling out something over the phone and I said it's m for mama.
He said "why didn't you say d for dad! Are men not important!!!!"

I would have actually said p for papa , the way I did it. Some men just get so angry.

Men only see what suits them.

The huge sexual asault and physical abuse that women go through doesnt happen to men.

They don't see what women go through , so they just say it doesn't happen. They don't care

He sounds like a right dickhead!

Men like him hate women and the fact that women are no longer dependent on them.

I don't, and I'm sure many of the thousands of single mothers who have to explain to their children why their father disappeared and barely sees them don't either.

My ex didn't vanish and is a good father. It was in his hands, and he chose to be. And very glad I am too.

Report to Prevent? This is radicalisation and divisive.

None of what he’s said means that he hates women or that his views are ‘problematic’. I agree with him:

Men are f&@!ed over after a divorce and the woman end up with everything/custody of the children.

Sometimes this is true.

Men are used by society, worked to death then disposed of when society is finished with them.
Male suicide is an epidemic and society seeing men as disposable is one of the reasons.
Women and Mothers are cherished. Men are thrown away.

Agree

He’s made reference to women and children first on the Titanic and how the men were left to die.
Men dying in wars etc.

Fact

He refuses to believe that women face death, sexual assaults and violence in romantic relationships more than men face violence at the hands of their partners.

Some men do also face abuse from their partners

Believes that men have harder lives than women.
This week our son had a medical issue and I knew (gut instinct) that he wasn’t right and needed attention. I mentioned “Mothers intuition” and that riled him up - “Dads don’t matter then!”

Fair point.

This is a place full of man haters so I’ll be in the minority but he isn’t wrong that there’s plenty of sexism towards men out there. As someone with sons, I am surprised you don’t notice it.

My cousin, (a tiresome twat) came out with every single point on that list a few years ago. I presume from consuming similar 'mens rights' sort of content.
I replied with a list of organisations like mens mental health groups ect he could volunteer with to do something about his concerns and help his fellow men! He of course did not want to do this. I'd bore on about your local men in sheds group and how much he could help there every time he starts this. And divorce his 'disposable' arse obviously.

I agree in that there is sexism towards men and generally men are seen as a bit useless as Dads/Husbands and are hugely praised for doing the basic minimum. Numerous times DH was publicly praised for pushing our sons pram, holding him in a cafe or feeding him etc. I never had such praise and it was expected that I would be a natural with babies (I was clueless) whereas I’m not ashamed to admit my husband was actually better and knew lots about changing nappies etc when we had our children.

The male suicide epidemic is a complex issue and one linked to toxic masculinity/men afraid to show emotions and share their feelings unlike women who generally share how they are feeling more freely. The mantra Boys will be Boys is hugely damaging, allowing young boys to get away with toxic behaviour/violence/ inappropriate behaviour etc. Showing emotion/crying linked to femininity and therefore weakness.

Yes, men of course face abuse from female partners and also in same sex relationships, the statistics are there though that women face a huge amount of violence and sexual assaults compared to men.

I'm not sure anyone said it was women's fault that people die in wars?