A CF at a dinner party?

[SnowPenguin]

My sister told me this story and I think it's top CF-ery. She isn't sure, but then again she's a much nicer person than me. What do you think?

Last night my sister went out to dinner with some ex work friends. This includes a woman, let's call her Sue, who's mid fifties. Sue lives about a 20 minute walk from the restaurant. My sister lives along Sue's route, about half way (so a ten minute walk from the restaurant). Everyone else lives in the other direction.

Sue asked my sister if she wanted to share a taxi there and back and my sister said was planning to walk. Sue said she wouldn't feel safe walking (to me this is ridiculous as you couldn't think of a less scary small town) and that she wouldn't be able to come as her husband couldn't take her and she didn't drive at night and taxis are expensive. In the end, my sister (total sweetheart) said she'd drive and give Sue a lift home. Sue said great, and asked for a lift TO the restaurant too. My sister told me she didn't really mind all this as was still happy to go out even if she couldn't have a glass of wine.

At the restaurant people ordered drinks from the bar and paid themselves (except my sister), then during dinner everyone ordered another drink to the table eg one person got a glass of wine, another person a beer etc. My sister doesn't bother much with soft drinks so had the table tap water.
The final bill had these extra drinks on as well as the food, usual discussion about how to manage the bill and SUE pipes up to say "let's just split it evenly". Which they did.

Is Sue a major CF?
Were all the people there CFs?
Or is it ok, which my sister thinks, because she could have said something at the time and didn't, and maybe next time someone else won't be drinking and she will?
Everyone must have known sister wasn't drinking, but no-one else knew about the arrangement with Sue.

AIBU?
YABU - not very cheeky
YANBU - cheeky, very cheeky

Sue should get a bike

I can't ever get worked up about bill splitting myself. But I suppose YANBU.

Sue is a Cf on the lift front. Your sister just needs to be more assertive. If she has her concerns she has to drive and sort herself out not put on others.

as for the drinks, people should have been more aware of people drinking tap water and offered to correct the bill correctly.

I have had this and the people that have quaffed cocktails like it’s a party have then suggested to the drivers on tap water or lemonade to bill to split evenly - no!

Yes Sue is CF and everyone there was wrong to let her get away with this and your sister for not speaking up for herself. Everyone knows you don’t split the drinks bill equally if someone there isn’t drinking!
Your is also a massive mug over the driving issue.

I don’t think it was unreasonable to suggest bill splitting but it was the responsibility of your Sis to suggest she pay her own as she didn’t drink.

Sister needed to say - I’m Sue’s designated driver. Only drank water, prefer I don’t pay for the drinks ….

Next time, I’ll join you for drinks & walk home… hearty laugh.

Two seperate issues really. The bill splitting, well, if your sister was the only one who didn't have a drink but paid equally, they ALL were subbed by her, not just Sue. Seems splitting the bill was the thing or people would've objected when it was suggested. It would have been nice if any of them had said 'oh that's not fair on sister' but they all went with it so all as bad there.
The lift thing, definitely CF. She could have asked her DH to walk her to where she met your dsis and then met her there after. Or stayed home.

Why did your sister offer to drive though? If she wanted a drink and to travel with Sue, why didn't she just share a taxi like Sue suggested. It's not Sue's fault that your sister didn't drink alcohol that night.

Hi Matilda - can you help me with the acronyms on this site haha - new here

It wasn't the DRINKS bill, it was the meal bill which included 1 drink per person. DSis could have had a more expensive meal which would have evened it out across the split anyway

Agree with others that the drinks isn’t a massive issue if it was just one each. I always try to make sure non-drinkers get a discount, but it would be negligible for one drink.

Why did she jump straight to offering to drive and go out of her way to pick up and drop off Sue though?!

If you're on the website, at the top of the page there is the Talk and the Down arrow right beside it.
If you click on that arrow (in the image below it's beside the word Talk and above where it says My Feed), you should see a link to Acronyms.

Hope that helps.

I’m always happy to split a bill but as I’m good at maths I always get given the bill to work out and i always without fail give anyone not drinking a discount - it only seems fair to split the alcohol between the ones drinking. The ones who want to split a bill evenly are always the ones who benefit the most. She’s a massive CF.

I'd be pretty pissed off if you did that!
It's not just drinks which effect the price. A non-drinker might have had steak whilst a drinker had the pasta
A drinker might have had the cheapest wine whilst a non drinker had an expensive mocktail. A J2O and a cheap beer can be the same price near enough

Ridiculous to taxi Sue around, why should anyone forgo a drink on a night out to pander to someone who won’t walk and ‘doesn’t drive at night’ ?

I suppose it axed insult to injury that DSis ended up covering a share of costs of everyone else’s drinks but it was only a drink per person, not multiple bottles of wine.

It was offering to drive the preposterous Sue that was the problem.

You don't need someone to mathematically work it out now. You can just pay for what you ordered everywhere does that now, you don't have to pay together anymore.

Your siter can speak for herself can't she?

Why on earth didn't your sister say to Sue when she said she wouldn't feel safe walking, 'Oh nonsense Sue, if we walk together we'll be fine, and anyway if I walk I can have a drink AND burn off some calories at the same time, win, win'. I certainly wouldn't have changed MY plans, AND agreed to give the lazy CF a lift both ways!