A CF at a dinner party?

[SnowPenguin]

My sister told me this story and I think it's top CF-ery. She isn't sure, but then again she's a much nicer person than me. What do you think?

Last night my sister went out to dinner with some ex work friends. This includes a woman, let's call her Sue, who's mid fifties. Sue lives about a 20 minute walk from the restaurant. My sister lives along Sue's route, about half way (so a ten minute walk from the restaurant). Everyone else lives in the other direction.

Sue asked my sister if she wanted to share a taxi there and back and my sister said was planning to walk. Sue said she wouldn't feel safe walking (to me this is ridiculous as you couldn't think of a less scary small town) and that she wouldn't be able to come as her husband couldn't take her and she didn't drive at night and taxis are expensive. In the end, my sister (total sweetheart) said she'd drive and give Sue a lift home. Sue said great, and asked for a lift TO the restaurant too. My sister told me she didn't really mind all this as was still happy to go out even if she couldn't have a glass of wine.

At the restaurant people ordered drinks from the bar and paid themselves (except my sister), then during dinner everyone ordered another drink to the table eg one person got a glass of wine, another person a beer etc. My sister doesn't bother much with soft drinks so had the table tap water.
The final bill had these extra drinks on as well as the food, usual discussion about how to manage the bill and SUE pipes up to say "let's just split it evenly". Which they did.

Is Sue a major CF?
Were all the people there CFs?
Or is it ok, which my sister thinks, because she could have said something at the time and didn't, and maybe next time someone else won't be drinking and she will?
Everyone must have known sister wasn't drinking, but no-one else knew about the arrangement with Sue.

AIBU?
YABU - not very cheeky
YANBU - cheeky, very cheeky

We split by the amount of people not what they've had, any other way is messy and tight.

Why didn't sister order a mock tail or fancy soft drink to be equal cost to the others?

Makes things much more simple.

This! Whether Sue is a cheeky so, and so does not change that fact.

I think unless everyone had the same price starter, same amount or bread, same price main course - you can’t speak up about people having one alcoholic drink versus water.

If your Sis did speak up then she may have been worried someone else would say ‘ok well I didn’t have a starter’ or ‘Sue had the steak which was £5 more than my pasta’. You either agree to all pay separately if you think there will be a big discrepancy or you all split.

The lift part was CFery but your sister should have just shared the taxi, had a few drinks and then there would have been no issues.

I don't think Sue is a CF because she just asked. Your sister could have said no to both.

Brilliant!

I’d say it’s thoughtless but not CFery.

These are really minor things. I really wouldn’t mind or think about it too much if I decided to do someone a favour and also ended up paying a bit more for dinner.

Splitting evenly is just a little easier than getting calculators out. I’m usually the non-drinker and tend to overpay a bit.

That’s brilliant! Not heard that before.

I wouldn’t be bothered, it’s so much easier to split the bill evenly then to have to fuck around because of my one non-drink.

If everyone had a starter, main, pudding and drink, then easier to split it equally. If some people didn't have starter, pudding or drinks, everyone should pay for themselves.
If this is a group your sister regularly easts out with, she is right and it will all work out over time. If they only go out once a year, it won't.

Either way, Sue should've bought (or at least offered to buy) your sister a drink or pay for her pudding or something to offset the lifts.

Ooh Op I wonder if your sister is the less confrontational one because you've always had the loudest voice?
You've written rather a long post to try to prove you're right when it's your sister's business and up to her how she reacts.
She's entitled to be different to you....stop jumping all over her stuff.

Your sister needed to say something along the lines of - let's split the food, and you lot can pay for your drinks.

I'm assuming the restaurant didn't charge for water? If there was bottled water then your sister needed to pay for that.

But Sue sounds hard work overall, and your sister is nice!

Just to clarify, sister didn’t mind splitting the bill, so She didn’t fail to stand up for herself. She isn’t a wet lettuce.

I agree it’s an easy option to spit the bill, and not the end of the world if some people have an alcoholic drink and some don’t.

But what I find cheeky is that it was Sue who suggested an even split, after sister had changed her plans to help Sue out and therefore couldn’t drink! 😂

Your sister is a complete sap. Is Sue her boss or something? Your sister changed her whole evening (walk to the restaurant, have a few drinks with colleagues, walk home - to drive to the restaurant picking up Sue on the way, not drinking but having to pay for it anyway, drive home dropping Sue, who was able to have a few drinks thanks to your sister, on the way). Yes, Sue is a CF, but why on earth did your sister bend over so far for her? Has she always been such a chronic people pleaser?

I personally don't think it's noteworthy CF territory. I couldn't get worked up about the one drink per person part - especially if no history of cheeky fuckery or piss taking over bill splitting. Your dsis chose to drive, and therefore agreed to pick up Sue.

I personally wouldn't have. Your sister's choice was to do so therefore, she learnt that Sue is a bit of a chancer. Lesson learnt and no more lifts for Sue.

The bill-splitting and the travel arrangements are separate issues. Sue was definitely being a CF when she tried to make her travel arrangements your sister's problem, which unfortunately worked. Your sister was planning to walk, but Sue made out that there was no earthly way that she could ever get there - can't walk, can't get a taxi, husband can't take her, doesn't drive at night. It beggars belief!

I wish your sis had reaffirmed that she was walking, and said that Sue would be welcome to show up at her door, and they walk that part of the way there and back together. And if Sue's husband couldn't get her from the midway point or Sue didn't want to spring for a taxi for half the journey, then 🤷‍♀️When Sue tried to make out that nothing short of aliens descending from the sky in their spaceship and offering her a lift would get her there, it's a pity your sis didn't have some handy phrases at the ready, like "Hmm, that's a conundrum, isn't it" or "That does sound difficult," instead of trying to come up with a solution to Sue's fake problem.

I bet Sue knew that your sis would offer to drive her. Massive CF.

Why did your sister drive. She had to go out of her way to collect and drop off sue as well.
I don’t think splitting costs is that bad in theory but the issue was that your sister drove just to save someone else money and missed out herself as a result.

Yes she's a CF

Maybe your sister wasn't drinking but she'd ordered the a meal £5 more than some of the drinkers (easy enough between a steak and a pasta say) so it balanced.

Sue didn't ASK for a lift home either. She played her face a bit and your DS decided to offer to help. If it's a 20 minute walk, it's probably a 10 minute drive so it's not like she was going miles out of her way. It wasn't exactly CF in the extreme (although asking for a lift there was a bit more)

So everyone ordered 1 drink, not multiple drinks? I mean I couldn't even be arsed getting into the finer detail of who ordered what, I'd be happy splitting even if I didn't have a drink.

If your sister didn't care about this, why was she discussing so many details of her work night out? I don't think I've ever had a conversation in which someone casually told me how many drinks everyone had and how the bill was split, unless they were complaining.

And Sue probably wasn't tracking every drink!
It's not like she went "ah I can make Penguin's sister pay for my drinks as well as driving me around... excellent"
She just made the best offer

The lift and the bill splitting have nothing to do with each other. The fact that Sue asked for a lift doesn't mean that she then shouldn't have suggested bill splitting because she was getting a lift.

I'm not sure Sue is a cheeky fucker (I've seen far worse examples of cheeky fuckery on here) but I think she's one of life's chancers who are more than happy to ask for things or suggest things because they know it's to their own benefit. ie. she knew if she suggested bill splitting she'd probably come out better off because she'd had alcohol and perhaps a more expensive meal (who knows what she had to eat, that wasn't in the OP).
She asked to share a taxi because that would save her money. Then she realized she could manipulate your sister into giving her a lift home and once she'd done that, she thought she'd chance asking for a lift to the meal as well because she was easily able to persuade your sister to ditch her plans and say she would drive.

Your sister needs to get a backbone or she will constantly be a magnet for chancers. She could have stuck to her guns and said she was going to walk and Sue could get a taxi to her place and they could walk together, same on the way back. Instead she ended up driving in the opposite direction to pick up Sue and take her to the meal and back again.
Your sister could have said something at the meal about not splitting the bill as she'd only had tap water, not even a coke, but she didn't.

I've never heard of this before😂As a recovering wet lettuce who has probably paid tax more than a few times I find this hilarious and will be using it in the future!

The lift thing is a bit wimpy on Sue's part, but your sister's choice to say yes or no. The bill-splitting - I don't think it's an issue. This is what my friends always do, because it evens out in the end. We'd never object if somone in the group said they wanted to pay their own because it was more expensive/less expensive, but usually, we just split five ways.