How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

For me 40 would of been my cut off point, but I had 3 by 30 so already exhausted to have more. I'm 44 now and have more independence from the early years, also health issues that have crept up on me now, so glad I didn't leave it late, it might seem a good idea having a baby late but if you're faced a sudden health decline, it would be very difficult.

This ^. Also feel like it gets asked every week and wonder why people care what others do?

Had my DC at 44; now 53 year old mum of a wonderful 9 year old. Loving every minute. Didn't have a problem with sleepless nights when a baby and not too tired to enjoy hanging out and doing fun things with her now.

I wasn't emotionally mature enough to be a mother until after my mid-30s.
I had my first baby at 36, second at 38.

Personally I'd say early 40s would've been my cut-off, because sleepless nights and running after a toddler in your late 40s must be very wearing.

Having said that, if the woman is fit, able and financially secure and understands she'll have the demands of looking after young children into her 50s, she's not too old to have a baby.

I had my last at 38. I am very fit and healthy. He's coming up for 16 now and I'm 54. All fine, but I see my peers who had children younger getting out and doing stuff I want to do (going away for weekends), or working part time (and doing stuff I want to do!).
My opinion is impacted because I've been a lone parent for many years (so alone and need to work full time to support home and kids).

I also have significant caring responsibilities for the generation above.

It really depends on so many factors, but I do think it's preferable to have them younger rather than older if you have a choice.

I’m 30 weeks pregnant with my first at 42! (Didn’t meet someone who wanted kids until older and had a lot of losses before this baby). Embryo/egg was made at age 39 and genetically tested as normal.

An older couple near us have a young adult with severe Autism {mother must have been 40 when he was born with an older husband- and it looks to be very hard physical work. They are pension age now.

Their son needs two strong, young fit male carers to manage him whenever he sets foot outside the house. He can't follow instructions like ''Don't run into traffic/into that person's front garden/into danger''.

It was when I turned 46 (I'm 47, almost 48 now) that I felt too old to have a child. I was in perfect health, had no symptoms of perimenopause but the idea of having a 13-year-old at 60 just felt unfair (to both the child and me) to me. So, sad as I am not to have children, the cut off for me is 46 (i.e. getting pregnant before you're 46 & a quarter!).

And this, absolutely! People who have kids already can say any arbitrary age as a cut off, because they’re done with it.

Had mine at 26 and 27 and then had my tubes tied and I am done.

I don't know something about this statement make me feel very depressed.

I would have still had kids - but I don't think as many or as close together

Though if I was now the age we started I don't think we'd be able to afford to do what we did either.

For me, 33/34 would have been the cut off point. I had my last one at 31. After your mid thirties there are far too many additional risks for both mother and child.

I wouldn't have had them.
I was indifferent anyway and my first wasn't even planned. So he started the ball rolling.

It was more about how I wanted my life to be mapped out.

It’s personal but due to life circumstances and not meeting my DH until late…I had mine at 38 and 40.

40 was my cut off and we’d have stuck at 1 if it didn’t happen.
its HARD and I feel my age.

very honestly all other things being equal I’d have had my last at 35

40ish depending on health and energy levels! I had mine at 28 and 30 as she and I had been together for 10 years by the time I had our first.

You don't really want to be doing their menopause with teens if it can be avoided...

Why?
I had mine, had my tubes tied
Had a lovely time while they were tied.

Best decision ever. If I were to miraculously fall pregnant I wouldn't be for long.

I was 36 and 40. Would've liked to have been younger tbh.

I was trying to be succinct but ideal , as stated in the earlier post, refers to conditions I can control. Maybe, a better description would be, conditions meeting my criteria. Like marriage and stable housing (property ownership or social housing). Unlike people who have such a strong biological urge, they want kids no matter what. If I was single or lived in private rented I wouldn't have kids. No issue with others who do, I just wouldn't.

If I already had them and life changes, well, I cannot control that. But I wouldn't enter into such a situation knowingly.

I'm ND , we tend to marry other ND people and evidence shows a high degree of heritability. So I was never under any illusions of having an 'easy' child. Adoption trauma would be no different. In any case, SEN, illness , birth injuries are in the category of uncontrollable things.

There are very specific reasons why I won't consider IVF but I don't need to make this post longer so I'll stop there.

I have seen news articles when women in their 60s have had a successful career and then decided they want children, which I would say is too old.

My DH is significantly older than me, so I felt my choice was limited more by his age than mine. We got together when he was 40, and our kids were born when he was mid-late 40s.

There a no single answer to this. I only have an ‘in retrospect’ answer which is early 30s, partly because my parents died when I was mid 30s and I also hit perimenopause quite early. So for me, had I waited to 35 and beyond, things wouldn’t have worked out well for me. Dealing with teenagers during perimenopause isn’t a picnic but I think for me personally babies and toddlers would have been more difficult.

But a friend I knew from school was hurt badly by a relationship in her early 20s and then remained single for many years. Eventually met a lovely man at 40 and has just recently had her first (and I think only) baby at nearly 47. I’m delighted for her that it was able to happen.

35 would be the cut off for me, but everyone is different.

There are pros and cons. My mum was 23 when she had me, 26 dsis2, 40 when she had my youngest sister. I had my two at similar ages to her having me and dsis2 and she was mid 40s and working full time. When dsis3 had hers at 23 and 26, mum was retired and has been support and free childcare ever since. Now 72 and still doing all the school runs. My sister would say she didn't like having an older mum, but she has benefited from it in other ways.. Personally, I'm glad I had my last at 26.

Weird question...seems to be implying some objective answer is possible?
It's too old whenever the woman decides it's too old.

I don't think I've ever seen one of these threads that explain the rationale for asking the question. Why do you want to know?

I'm 40 with 2 IVF eggs in storage that were extracted when I was 34. I'm certainly not 'too old' and actually resent the notion of others who happily had stress-free pregnancies and births in their 20s telling anyone when their optimal timeframe ought to be.

My DH is 11 years older than me. We had fertility issues and never did conceive. I am very glad I didn’t get a surprise late pregnancy for this reason.

It’s so easy to say “I personally wouldn’t want one after 30” but some people haven’t even met their spouse by then and many others aren’t in a financial position to have a child yet. So much depends on your life circumstances.