How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

Surely that's impossible to answer?
I had mine in my 20's which has worked out well for me and I am happily seeing them into independence in my 40's. I have no idea how I would have felt say in my mid-late 30's if I had no children because I never experienced it.
For me anything over 40 is too old because I know how I felt in my 20's compared to now at 41....

It's different for everyone it depends on circumstances, I had mine at 33 and 36 but that's because in didn't meet anyone I wanted to settle down with untill met my dh at 31 .

I just wanted to say this was so lovely to read. Really beautiful, thank you for sharing.

I’m in a very similar situation with my step-son who has been in my life for the last 4 years and at 37 he has made me want to have a child of my own. He is the most brilliant child and I feel so lucky to be his stepmum. He wants a little brother or sister and if we’re blessed I will forever be grateful for him for being the child that made me a “mum”. We’ve agreed no IVF either and are only in our second month of trying, but I feel hopeful and your story has really touched me.

My disability really started ramping up for me after the age of 27.

I physically couldn't handle babies and young kids. So if I hadn't had kids by 30 I'd not have had any

35 would be my cut off, 40 for men as they don't have the physical aspect of pregnancy/ breastfeeding.

I'd want to be around to be a helpful/ useful grandparent and support them into adulthood. But also want to still have a good few years of being healthy/ fit after they've reached adult hood. 55 with kids over 20 is still a good age to travel and adventure.

That's because you already have your kids
I couldn't imagine wanting to have a baby in my 40,s either ,but I had already had my two by that' age if I hadent it might have been different.

I wanted to be one and done before I turned 26. It happened in the nick of time. I absolutely cannot imagine having a baby now, in my early 40s.

I was 43, worked well, no problems, everyone happy , young adults successfully launched.

I know there are lots of ifs and buts, but if you haven’t had the opportunity, circumstances or urge earlier, my decision was to go for it at the maturer end of my natural childbearing years rather than not have Dc.

Other people’s experience is interesting but I have no interest in other people’s judgement.

I feel like this question gets asked every week!!

Biologically - when you stop producing eggs

Socially - completely dependant on the individual

Depending on health, I’d say early 40s.

Anything over 40 is to old.

When I was younger 30 was my cut off point. I had mine when I was 21, 24 and 25.

Now their all getting older... I'm 32 and debating if I should have another. I've felt like this for the last 4 years, the broodiness is not going away 🤣

I'm similar, except like @Skepticgal I'll probably adopt if I can't have them.
I want children, but only in ideal conditions. Ideal being things somewhat under my control like my financial situation, being married to a good man etc.
Going it alone, IVF aren't lengths I'm willing to go to.

I agree, I was early 40s. One woman in our coffee group said something catty about how tired I must be. I was elated to be a parent and felt much less tired than she looked

I had my youngest age 32, I am 35 years old now, I still feel broody at times but I know I would struggle with another little one and I am also concerned about my age. I look in the mirror can see I am starting to look older-not young adult anymore.

I don't judge women for having children older, its personal choice.

My own personal deadline was 35 but as this thread illustrates it's different for everyone!

I had mine at 28 and 32 and for me that is perfect.

One of my closest friend's had her one and only at 38. She's doing great and I'm happy for her but perimenopause and raising a toddler looks really tough.

Interesting answers here given the average age of a first time mum in 2024 is 31.

I think any age so long as your feel fit and healthy. It’s completely normal where I am to have children in your late 30s and early 40s.

I’ve never heard anyone suggest they’ve struggled to cope because of their age. The idea is quite funny really.

I said 40 and I would not be having a baby at 40 or later, regardless of the circumstances.

Why are you all so tired?! I'm 38 and feel fine. You all need some iron and some carbs!

Technically, too old is when you hit menopause. On a personal level, 40 would have been too old for me. I had my second at 34, which means they will both be out of uni and hopefully on their own two feet by the time I'm 56-57 - then I can happily retire and enjoy my freedom (maybe).

Most (all?) children who goes through adoption have come from trauma. So not really the ideal conditions you’re looking for surely? I know 2 happy families who have adopted but it’s not smooth sailing and straightforward.

Anything over 40+ is a bit too old I think but 45 would probably be the limit because I still think it is fine to have a baby at say 42.

I had mine at 22 (twins), 25, 28 and 31. I think I heavily preferred being pregnant in my 20s to be honest. I wouldn't have had a baby past 35 as that would probably be my limit but I was done after 31 anyway.

I'll be 35 when I have this baby and always said that would be my cut off. I'm both ends of the scale though as I had my first when I was 17 and feel better mentally as I got older

Personally I think 'younger = better' as someone who has had kids in her late teens, late 20s and mid 30s (I always thought I would be done by 30) the younger one was by far physically easiest.

I also always wanted a big family but suffered infertility so it ended up taking decades to realize that dream of having more than one child despite a lot of active trying. Lots of tests, treatment, loss and saving money to get there and if I started late I likely wouldn't have had more than one if lucky.

While I would advise people of my experience if they are asking (like here) I'm not stopping anyone doing what they want, if they want to have a baby at 50 thats their choice.

My Nana had my dad late, she thought she had just entered menopause and he was the youngest of 6 and younger than his own niece and nephew and my Nana lived to be in her 90s dying when my dad was in his late 40s.

On the flip side my own mam died young, had she had me at say 43 I would be a child growing up without a mother.

I had grand plans to be done by 35 which was very naive given we started TTC with me at 30 and finally had our special edition at 38. You don't know what is going to happen but I definitely think 40 is a cut off just socially.

I'm far older than most of the school mums and just feel a bit worn out as I had a non sleeper as well until they were 5!!!