How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

I always said 35 for me personally but life doesn't always follow the plan. We had our first when I was 30 but it took years and losses to have our second who arrived when I was 36. We were right on the cusp of stopping TTC when I discovered I was pregnant and didn't actually believe we'd have a baby until I was around 18 weeks pregnant or so. I'd prefer to have had my second at 33ish, which is when we "planned" but I'm so thankful she came along eventually and she was definitely worth the wait. We originally wanted 3 kids but not rolling the dice again.

Id say older than 40 and you're gonna find it harder

But that's a generalisation. If you have money, support, good health, a healthy child etc then it's not as much of an issue

Sorry to hear your parents died very young.

My personal limit would be 40. I had my first at 35, expecting my second at 36 and one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the exhaustion. I wouldn’t want to deal with it again into my 40’s. Life circumstances meant I didn’t have children until 35.

My "ideal" age was 26 but DH wasn't ready.
DS came along when I was 29.
We wanted another when I was 31 but she took time to conceive and only arrived when I was 34 (almost 35).
I'm considering a 3rd and will try for one (I think!) but the fact I'm 36 now concerns me a little. My main worry would be having a child with additional needs.

I know if I didn't have children I'd be prepared to go to any age biologically possible (early 40s?)

I agree! I’m 37, 678 weeks pregnant and have a three year old, and feel totally fine. I’m amazed so many people feel old in their thirties! That’s a terrible way to live!

Some of you need to see your GPs for blood tests and get going on a heart-rate raising hobby.

I think over 40. Not that people aren't fit enough in their 40s but just thinking more about long term.

With the benefit of hindsight - 35.

And not because having a baby/toddler/primary age in your forties is hard. It isn't.

But because having a difficult teenager when you're 50+ is.

30 was my personal limit and I had my last at 27. He's 18 now and I am freeeeeee! But circumstances were such that it worked out for me. For other people I think 40 is a good cut off. It's really hard on children having old parents. I did and my mum died when I was 14. Ruined the trajectory of my life.

same here. it wouldn't have been safe for me post 30 to have carried, so would have just stayed childless.

strangely enough, not all of us have managed to make it to our 40s while remaining healthy.

I do ok, but i have disabilities now that were just starting to show their face in my 20s, that post 35 have left me needing mobility aids, strong pain meds, and a lot of rest/recovery time.

Be glad you're still feeling fine at 38.

Agree with @KimberleyClark, my eldest is on the spectrum, mostly social issues. I had her at 31. Very advanced language skills etc. My youngest I had at 38, she needs a full time personal TA and a lot of extra support. She is 5 and non verbal. I don't think it's coincidence. Of course it depends on a variety of other factors like genetics and lifestyle etc, we still don't know the full causes and triggers and may not for years but yes, definitely a factor.

Anything over 35 felt too old for me.
Others will clearly have different views, for different reasons, and that's ok.

I'd say 40, 35 being the ideal max.

Too old is when you’re physically unable to, surely?

There’s more to it than physically being able to conceive and carry to term isn’t there?

do you have children?

Late thirties. I had one at 42 and it's too old. I'm tired and impatient.

It's too shortsighted and doesn't consider what it's like to be caring for a 15 yo in 15 years time.

Late thirties is the latest I'd be prepared to risk it. By forties the odds of a problem is higher than I would be happy with.

A family history of arthritis becoming serious by late forties and early fifties also affected my thinking.

Personally I wouldn’t have even considered having a baby under 35, I think 40-45 is ideal. But we are all different!

I had my last at 35 and that was my cut off. Her friends parents are all younger than us too !

i always wanted to be finished by 35. But now I see 35-40 as doable. I really really wouldn’t want a baby past 40

Wow! Definitely all different

At 35 I wouldn't have them now.

My mum had me in her 40s. They did their best but were so out of touch with the current generation of the time that it often felt like being raised by grandparents.

Of course having Internet today might make that less of an issue.

And more parents are older it seems so maybe it's more normal.

But for me it felt like... losing a whole generation of family that should have been there.