Why am I all of a sudden attracted to more masculine men

[Larsz]

I turned 30 a few months ago. And a few things happened, all of a sudden I felt almost a sense of urgency to have a baby. And secondly, my taste in men has completely changed. I’ve always liked the indie, sensitive guy who is well educated and into the arts. All of a sudden I’m really attracted to hyper masculine men. Even the body type I am attracted to has changed. I’m curious if it’s socio-cultural factors or biological ones driving this change.

I have been with my fiance since university and out of nowhere I have lost attraction to him. Theoretically he is exactly what I want - kind, evolved and sensitive. He reads more feminist literature than me! But I find myself being attracted to almost his polar opposite.

Anyone else experience this?

I found the same thing happened to me a few years ago. I think it's biology telling us it's time to have a baby and find the biggest, strongest male available to father our baby and protect us personally.

Lost all attraction to my sensitive effeminate fiancé of 7 years and married my now husband, a rugby player. Who actually is still very kind and sensitive and very well educated and liberal but is very masculine looking and strong.

Biology has a lot to answer for!

Yes, I’m peri-menopausal (I think) and I feel like my hormones have been doing a last fandango! I’m suddenly attracted to much bulkier looking men - the rugby player type. Dh lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago and I don’t fancy him much anymore - it’s weird.

The man I had DS with was completely different to my usual type. He was much shorter and stockier, as well as being much more balanced in his personality than I'd like. Usually I prefer someone very tall and peppered with a bit of sadness.

DS has always been robustly healthy although that marriage went in the bin early doors!

Maybe you’re just using ‘biology’ as an unconscious out of a relationship that’s gone stale because you’re not ready to admit to yourself you’ve fallen out of love with your fiancé and don’t see yourself having children with him?

Either way, I think you should explore what’s going on. I’d recommend therapy.

Does your fiancé want to get married and have a baby (in that order) within the next 18 months? Two years max?

If yes, go for it. A passing change of taste in physical attraction is not a reason to break off a good relationship. After you have a baby your tastes may go right back to how they were.

If not, seriously consider the future. Your clock is ticking.
Too many women waited too long for a man who kept putting off making decisions, and lived to regret it.
She ends up childless and he then dumps her for a younger woman and promptly goes on to have a baby with the new woman. It happens.

Don't waste your fertile years if he is not committed to taking action very soon.

This is a strange thread. Nobody is attracted to a man who reads feminist literature.

Well I am, so there.

I was more attracted to more masculine men as I got older. As a teenager I liked nonthreatening effeminate men but as my self confidence grew I found the "wetness" annoying and the slight "otherness" of a masculine man more attractive as long as no shouting or aggression.I'd wonder why a guy is reading feminist literature, liking classical music and literary classics fine, reading stuff like Germaine Greer and Betty Friedan seems to be trying too hard.

🤣🤣🤣

If you don't fancy your fiancé any more, break it off. Assuming you do want children at some point, that reduces most women's sex drive and makes it harder for most couples to have a good sex life, and you'll have no hope if you don't fancy him to start with.

Hormones. I was always attracted to men with big ideas, artistic tendencies (not necessarily abilities) and other ephemeral concepts like cheek dimples, but then something clicked et voila, married to a rugby player with a temper of a teddy bear. I guess I have matured and resolved enough of my own trauma to no longer need anyone who needs "saving", no more Peter Pans. To build a family I need someone to build a house with, both metaphorically and quite literally I need someone who can sort out the leaking taps etc.

Funny you should say this, there was an article in a paper a few weeks ago about how the contraceptive pill changes who you are attracted to. Is it that OP?

There have been studies done that show women are attracted to different “types” at different times in the menstrual cycle - when fertile we want strong, more masculine men and when not fertile we are attracted to a more feminine, caring companion type. They used the same faces but digitally altered to be more or less masculine for the research. So it’s absolutely possible that your changing biology is causing this.

Lots of people now married to rugby players on this thread.

Reducing men to types much? What about burly rugby-playing tree surgeons who read feminist literature?

They're great! 😉

I can't say I agree, I dated one once and he was just an overgrown child with a drinking problem. Spent 50% of his time in the pub and 50% on the rugby field. 😄 OP I think you've just grown up, those sensitive, overly weak, effeminate type of men definitely get outgrown after the teenage years - cue Robert Pattison vs Henry Cavill.

Yes I went through a phase of having crushes on chunkier dark haired me instead of my fair haired lean husband for a bit and it was around the time I became keen to start a family! I stuck with him though and still going strong many many years down the line.

I found this in my early 30's and would especially notice this around ovulation

we are so driven by our biology

i’m in my early 40s and this has happened to me in the last few years too. Not the baby thing, never had a single twinge of an ovary my whole life, but suddenly finding the Greek god physique incredibly attractive, when I never used to like muscles.

I’m not bothered about masculine men in real life - in general I’m feeling a bit sick of men at the moment - but I’m very happy that Marvel Studios have fully embraced the female gaze.

Aw ds1 is 27 single, tall and more rugby build than slim. He's very intelligent and just lovely. Going to a gig with him tonight. Hopefully he'll meet someone nice soon seen as his age group finds his build attractive? He has friends too, he doesn't always hang out with me 😂 But is close to me ds2,my dh and his dad.

Maybe I'll get him fixed up at this gig? It's definitely more for his age group. Dh is coming too so no fear people think we're a couple. Although that has happened bless him. 🤣🙈

We all have our types. Mine is ‘Has a DPhil and can distinguish Toril Moi from Helène Cixous’. Yours is clearly ‘knuckledragger’. Just own that.

Aw ds1 is 27 single, tall and more rugby build than slim. He's very intelligent and just lovely. Going to a gig with him tonight. Hopefully he'll meet someone nice soon seen as his age group finds his build attractive?

I'm sure there's plenty of young MNetters out there would snap him up judging by this thread 😉

I spent my teens and early 20s into fairly feminine looking guys, skinny with long hair. Ended up marrying the complete opposite. He's smart, kind and sensitive, but also great at man stuff and DIY 😆

Wow. Is your husbands type 'snarky and cutting'?

Have you recently come off the pill?